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Anyone need anything straightened?

Started by I, Cosh, 20 September, 2016, 08:07:41 AM

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I, Cosh

We never really die.

Hawkmumbler

How fare you sir, i'm as straight as a banana and shit rainbows!


Straight indeed!

Dandontdare

aah, one of the best threads ever, so many banned boarders *nostalgic sigh*

Although it seems those excerpts from The Straightener have disappeared from the internet, Jobo is still spouting shite on his blog:

QuoteZeeraclluzegj

A bell rings once and its echo remains until Zeeraclluzegj is fixed and calling forth Zqelxoix to bind the edges and close further interference by portal streams. A great calm follows and magnificent feelings manifest; sight, sound, smell, touch, taste, and hearing becoming as one.

Sentients begin the filling process and the orgasm begins. Entering through funnels, the billions flow until Balzxejacht is reached and the funnels collapse to leave the final and ultimate destination ahead - a single point in a void. A call so strong and yet so gentle. An enticing, bewitching silence, that pulls that which can only be drawn. Onward, as all becomes quiet and peaceful. Onward as all emotion is relinquished and dissipated in the wake of the traveller. Onward as all knowledge is relinquished and dissipated in the wake of the traveller. Onward as the point is reached and the traveller is relinquished and dissipated in the wake of the truth, which holds no truth; the truth which holds no fear; the truth which holds nothing but nothing itself and gives itself up to the experience of the knowing of the Xexolian vortex and its gift of nothing.

And Django Zoon: The Straightener apparently has a new sub-title: "Top time and space bastard" (I kid you not). Doesn't seem to have been picked up by any actual publishers though...

Proudhuff

I don't have a feckin clue WTF is going on here... :o
DDT did a job on me

Hawkmumbler

Quote from: Proudhuff on 20 September, 2016, 10:03:08 AM
I don't have a feckin clue WTF is going on here... :o
Having just read the thread in question I wish I didn't!

JayzusB.Christ

Bloody hell. I missed that thread the first time round.

See the bit where Bouwel wished Robin Williams was dead?  You're sick, Bouwel, sick.  You killed Robin Williams.  Why did you kill Robin Williams?  Nobody should write anything on the internet ever.
"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest"

I, Cosh

Quote from: Dandontdare on 20 September, 2016, 09:21:04 AM
aah, one of the best threads ever, so many banned boarders *nostalgic sigh*
It also becomes clear towards the end that there a lot of deleted posts in the thread, rather spoiling the flow of the bile.

I still can't believe I actually read the whole first chapter of that drivel. And it's about me!
We never really die.

pauljholden

Blimey, I thought this thread would be just a stupid waste of time, but it turns out I DO need something straightened - I have an A3 block of paper which weirdly wasn't cut straight in the factory - it's ever so slightly off. If you could come round and straighten it that would be awesome.

JayzusB.Christ

Do you do teeth? Mine are like a vandalised graveyard.
"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest"

JOE SOAP


I, Cosh

Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 20 September, 2016, 02:18:58 PM
Do you do teeth? Mine are like a vandalised graveyard.
Well, I can have a bash at making them all the same...
We never really die.

Grugz

well' that made the adventures or thryllseeker and his raincoat seem tame!
don't get into an argument with an idiot,he'll drag you down to his level then win with experience!

http://forums.2000adonline.com/index.php/topic,26167.0.html

TordelBack

There were giants in the Earth in those days (Genesis 6:4).



Giant knobheads, that is.

Tiplodocus

I can't believe that was eight years ago.

Fair play, I remembered the name. And I can't even remember the name of... you know... thingy.
Be excellent to each other. And party on!

TordelBack

It's like Halo Jones Book 2, but with less naked feet.