Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments

[JayzusB.Christ]

I thought I was party to a select group of people who had finally stumbled upon the truth, rather than realising what I really was:  A gullible eejit who should have read a few real history books first.

Far worse crimes I imagine.

Forget Dan Brown - I was once approached by a Grant Morrison True Believer.
Walked out of Sub City Comics in Dublin sometime in the 90's with my regular pull list, including the usual from Vertigo.
Some guy in a trench-coat followed me down the street asking questions about "The Invisible College" ffs.

Think I remember you mentioning this before. Feckin hell.
I'll assume Grant only accepted his knighthood to lull the elites into a false sense of security- his chaos magick anarchist revolution will be kicking off any day now.

[Funt Solo]

I'll assume Grant only accepted his knighthood to lull the elites into a false sense of security...

Surely you can't imagine that was the *real* Grant? [Cue spooky music from The X-Files.]

[JayzusB.Christ]

You've already said too much.

[paddykafka]

As if I don't have enough noise disturbance to be dealing with in this kip of a flat - what with the junkies screaming and roaring outside the front of the building for admittance, then kicking the bejaysus out of the door in an attempt to get in themselves when their cries go unheard (as in untill 2.30am this morning) - the bloody smoke detector in the flat has started chirping!

Naturally enough, it waited untill late last night to announce the fact that the batteries were in need of changing. Apparently I have to switch off the leckie to the flat at the mains before opening up the alarm cover to remove the batteries. (Presumably to avoid electrocuting myself. And with my luck that is exactly what would happen!) I have no idea where the mains switch is located for this flat in the block and of course, because it is the weekend, there are no council staff available to provide assistance for me.

For that matter, I haven't a scooby-doo how to even open the bastard detector so as to shut it up. I did give it a go - twisting it hither, thither and yon - but that only seemed to anger it even more, with the result that it  gave out even more urgent sounding beeps. So it looks like I'll have to endure the chirping fecker for the next couple of days and nights, at least until the council are contactable again on Monday.

Honest to Christ, but I haven't had a moments good luck since I moved into this feckin' dive. Looks like I'll have to try the old bog-roll-down-the-ears-to-cut-out-the-noise trick again. That being said, the last time I did so, I accidentally deafened myself when some of said bog roll got jammed down deep in my eardrum.

[The Legendary Shark]

Can you tape some foam rubber or rags or something over the alarm until you can get it fixed?

[Funt Solo]

the bastard detector

I know you didn't ask for help, but I'm wondering if there's any way of figuring out (serial number, brand name etc.) what type of alarm it is, and then googling how to open it up and get the batteries replaced? If it's battery-powered, then why would you need to switch off the mains? That seems not to make much sense. Of course, I'm no expert - perhaps it's got both power options and only uses battery as back-up.

Also, soft foam ear plugs aren't very expensive for a big pack.

[moogie101]

Many have batteries but also wired to the mains, I recall one going off during the day when I was working nights and it ended up being ripped off the ceiling in desperation to shut it up.

[Hawkmumbler]

Indeed Funt, I believe it's mandated now fire alarms that are to be connected to the mains require a battery source as a back up in the event of a fire during a power surge or outage.

Commiserations Paddsters, and too think it all looked to be roses from the outset. I rather suspect there is little to be done until come the Monday morn, but I do echo Funt in the purchase of foam ear plugs. A savior of mine on many a festival when the festivities outstayed there welcome.

----

Been dealing with issues of my own in the new gaff, as the washing machine flooded the kitchen on the first use. Didn't even finish the cycle, the bastard. Whats more took the agent over a week before they agreed to send the contractor out. Apparently white goods issues are mine to resolve with the warranty, completely ignoring the fact it was clearly not fitted correctly in the first place.

Ey up now, this housing lark is a lot.

[Funt Solo]

Lest you imagine that I live in some sort of foamy-eared paradise - my luggage went missing on a recent flight to a wedding. So, chin-up, I ventured to the seaside resort of Dunoon to replace my wedding tackle. Wait, that's not right! Anyway - to get new wedding clothes, of course.

Now, the wedding was fine, and Dunoon managed famously in a pinch - but the airline (Lingus, those fannies!) are a bit shit about returning lost luggage - fobbing the job off to a call center somewhere on the other side of the world. To say they couldn't manage a piss up in a brewery would be to pay them a massive compliment.

As it stands, they've spent about ten days trying to deliver my lonely luggage to the wedding venue - long since abandoned! I may have found a solution, though - in that I got hold of an actual human being (wer sprechen die englisch) actually based at Glasgow airport. By Christmas, I may get my kit back, Grud-willing.

(I realize I'm an over-pampered gibbon - what with being able to afford a flight, and luggage, and to be able to shop in Dunoon - but it still sucks to not have my bag of holding.)

[The Legendary Shark]

What goes up Might come Down.

[paddykafka]

the bastard detector

I know you didn't ask for help, but I'm wondering if there's any way of figuring out (serial number, brand name etc.) what type of alarm it is, and then googling how to open it up and get the batteries replaced? If it's battery-powered, then why would you need to switch off the mains? That seems not to make much sense. Of course, I'm no expert - perhaps it's got both power options and only uses battery as back-up.

Also, soft foam ear plugs aren't very expensive for a big pack.

Thanks for the suggestions, Funt. It says on the alarm itself: "Warning - Disconnect from Mains AC before Removal. See Instruction Manual."

Problem is, I don't have an instruction manual. Now that I've had a chance to look at the alarm in delight - and cross-referencing from what I've googled - I've learnt that I'll need to use a screw-driver to dismantle the alarm. But I still haven't the foggiest as to where the Mains AC is, so I'll still have to wait until the council offices reopen on Monday. Sigh.

Hope you manage to get your luggage problem sorted in the meanwhile. About which, I was at a Morrissey gig one-time and he - in a, for whatever reason(s) still clearly disgruntled reference to Aer Lingus - stated: "I will never fly Aer Fungus again!"

(Thanks also to Hawkie and Sharkie as well for your suggestions. Bog roll in the ears just wasn't cutting the mustard this time 'round. Mind get some ear-plugs later on.)

[JayzusB.Christ]

Sorry to hear of your miserable experience, Paddy.  Noise at night is my least favourite thing in the world. I've tried the bog-roll-in-the-ear thing, but it ended in temporary deafness and a mate doing an amateur removal job with a tweezers.

I've had Aer Lingus lose my bags before, and my house keys were in it. I had to scale the porch and climb through an upstairs window.  I was sharing a house at the time and was praying my housemate wasn't home to see me wriggling through the small gap in his bedroom window.

[paddykafka]

I've had Aer Lingus lose my bags before, and my house keys were in it. I had to scale the porch and climb through an upstairs window.  I was sharing a house at the time and was praying my housemate wasn't home to see me wriggling through the small gap in his bedroom window.

Thanks, Jayzus. With regard to wriggling through the gap in your housemate's bedroom window - ooh, err Missuss! lol - if he had woke up, then you you could always explain it away, by saying that you were carrying out a routine house security check. 

[The Legendary Shark]

Or...

[JayzusB.Christ]

  

I'm not quite sure how that would be better than telling him Aer Lingus lost my luggage with my keys in it