Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments

[COMMANDO FORCES]

Only at weddings and the races 

[Misanthrope]

Pot Noodles no longer taste as good as they used to.

[staticgirl]

Can't believe it's still only quarter to three.

[House of Usher]

I can't believe it's as late as quarter to three!

[vzzbux]

Pot Noodles no longer taste as good as they used to.

Pot noodles have never tasted good. The only time you cant get them to taste good is if you are stagging on at three in the morning in mid winter.




V

[COMMANDO FORCES]

I went into Halfords earlier to buy a new headlight bulb and the woman at the till only asked, "Would you like that fitted?"

She's lucky to still be breathing, cheeky cow!

[SmallBlueThing]

Because, flicking through the EPG- you know that official, production teams-sanctioned, written by professionals, guide to what im watching- i see that The Royle Family is described as "brilliant comedy", and the episode description ends in an exclamation mark, to punctuate just how h-h-h-hilarious it is.

Now, whatever you might think ot the series (it's alright, i s'pose) i think you'll agree that this is wronger than a hairy man in bumless trousers at a funeral. "Brilliant comedy"? I look forward to the next showing of New Jack City describing it as a "shit film" in that case. Or Gosford Park being "boring, snob-infested drama". Who writes this fountain of arse water?
SBT

[Peter Wolf]

I have been trying to trace a house i lived in Haslemere in Surrey for a short period sometime in the early to mid 70s which i think was 6 months.I want to retrace my childhood and the house has always stuck in my mind as its some of my earliest memories one of which is seeing red squirrels in the trees at the end of the garden.No one else in my family can remember the address but i can still recall what the house looked like.

Its doing my head in a bit and i have looked on Streetmap at houses which i think it was having searched on google earth but on Streetview i cant see the houses because they are hidden by trees and hedges and down driveways.The only evidence was an old postcard with a colour picture of a view overlooking the woods and fields somewhere close to the house.I was shown this postcard years ago but i have no idea where the postcard is now and neither does anyone else.

The only solution is to visit and search the area but i dont reckon i will find it.

[staticgirl]

Telephone directories from the 1970s?

[Peter Wolf]

Will someone or something make it stop raining day after day after day after day because i am getting fucking tired of it.

[Mardroid]

I have been trying to trace a house i lived in Haslemere in Surrey for a short period sometime in the early to mid 70s which i think was 6 months.I want to retrace my childhood and the house has always stuck in my mind as its some of my earliest memories one of which is seeing red squirrels in the trees at the end of the garden.No one else in my family can remember the address but i can still recall what the house looked like.

Red squirrels in Surrey? That reminds me of a friend who told me that she remembers red squirrels in Greenwich Park. I thought she must be mistaken as I didn't realise they were that far South so recently. What with Grey squirrels introduced in Victorian times, I mean. It's as if the reds died out all of a sudden.

[SmallBlueThing]

We had reds in alexendra park in Hastings when i was a nipper. Dont think there are any now, having been replaced by greys and a few blacks.

This early morning message brought to you by communist paranoia, abduction delusion and the BNP.

SBT

[Rog69]

I spent my breakfast time this morning consoling my four year old daughter who has just realised that mortality is something we all suffer from  .

[I, Cosh]

I spent my breakfast time this morning consoling my four year old daughter who has just realised that mortality is something we all suffer from  .

Speak for yourself, puny human.

[LARF]

I spent my breakfast time this morning consoling my four year old daughter who has just realised that mortality is something we all suffer from  .

At the age of only 32 Rog69's daughter, now an acclaimed scientist, finally solves the riddle of our mortality and enables humanity to live forever! "I owe it all to my father", she said "He explained, using toast and a bowl of wheetos, when I was four why we all only live a short life. That's why today I'm dedicating my research to him, and this is why my formula is called the Breakfast equation!"