Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments

[Paul faplad Finch]

Many moons ago I was sitting in my house when a knock at the door heralded the arrival of a slightly oily looking young man with a clipboard.

He explained that he and his colleagues were going door to door, explaining to residents about new government legislation which had just come into effect to tackle the dodgy billing methods of many energy companies. He proceeded to show me lots of charts and things, very quickly and without much in the way of comprehensible explanation, and then asked me to sign something so they had a record of my having been informed.

I know, I know, but I was very young and just getting the hang of having my own place and dealing with that kind of thing. So I signed.

A week later I get a letter from an energy company, thanking me for choosing tyo switch to them and informing me of the date they would be taking over my service, etc.  It didn't take me long to figure out what had happened and I was straight on the phone to them.

I expected a big production but no, the person on the line accepted what I said, apologised for 'the confusion' and assured me that the changeover procedure would be cancelled.

Wasn't until I hung up that I realised her complete lack of surprise probably meant that this was a regular thing for them. Presumably they try this kind of thing in the hopes that enough people won't cotton on, or won't complain when they do, that they'll grab a few new customers. I'd imagine some people would be too embarrassed to admit they'd fallen for it.

Have to admire the gall though, of using fake legislation against cons as a cover for their own con.

[I, Cosh]

I expected a big production but no, the person on the line accepted what I said, apologised for 'the confusion' and assured me that the changeover procedure would be cancelled.

Wasn't until I hung up that I realised her complete lack of surprise probably meant that this was a regular thing for them.

It was. Certainly during the big push towards full deregulation of the energy market in the mid to late nineties. Every company that could get into the market had squads of people chapping doors, telling lies and forging signatures for all they worth. Obviously, there were a lot of people who really did want to switch, but there were a hell of a lot who got bumped across in the same way you did because it helped somebody's sales figures and bonus.

[SmallBlueThing]

Sneck! i forgot my glasses in the rush to leave this morning. As a result everything's blurry.

SBT

[COMMANDO FORCES]

Just finished on the phone to the nice lady at EON. Even she was confused as to why this had happened but we all know why don't we folks, grab more money off customers who don't check anything!

Instead of raising my direct debit by £7 a month, she said they can lower it by £8 but I said leave it as it is, as then I have a buffer zone as you never know what might happen due to 'cough' climate change 

When we arrived at the £165 credit being placed into my bank, she was starting to say that they couldn't do this. That was til I butted in and informed her that the company has to refund my money, by LAW!

Anyway it should be in the bank by Friday 

Always check everything folks!!!!

[Proudhuff]

that should pay for some new Dredd tat collectibles   

[Dandontdare]

I'm having a colonoscopy tomorrow and cannot eat after 9am today. I don't usually do breakfast, I'm never hungry first thing in the morning, but I've just got up early to stuff as much chicken, potatoes, toast and eggs down my gullet as I can. THink I may go back to bed for a bit now. Looking forward to the delights of a strong laxative this evening!

[TordelBack]

Speaking of unpleasant arse-related procedures, every time I see Greg Land's art on Uncanny X-Men I just can't believe that he still gets work.  Does anyone like those bizarrely static perspective-free montages of barely painted-over photos?

[SmallBlueThing]

Right, excuse me while I rant.

I am currently, while typing, watching some godawful reality programme on channel 5 about Brighton beach. It may be called 'Brighton Beach', but I really don't care.

Why do fucking jobsworth little Hitlers take jobs like those protrayed in the programme? Beach Patrol, for instance. In this particular episode, it's a bit windy, so the sea's a bit rough. The squat little nazi in charge of the Beach Patrol is overcome with excitement at the presence of cameras, and rushes down to the beach to order some swimmers out of the water. Gail Porter, on voice over duty, tells us "the red flag has been put up, and it's a stupid risk to swim". hang on a minute. Is it illegal? Don't people have a right to take a few risks- even ones that may end their lives? I don't remember the last programme I watched about mountain climbers having a portentious voice over tutting and declaring it a stupid risk to climb. Nor when the obviously unfit and unprepared celebrities go into the jungle for I'm A Celebrity and then get ill. No, that's funny or dramatic isn't it.

Anyway... little Hitler thinks she can see one of the swimmers "waving". "Yes, that's definately a wave of distress" she cries and orders one of her overweight British baywatch excuses into the water to perform a daring rescue. Oh, but fuck me, the swimmer wasn't in distress at all, and after being pulled back to the shore, tells her so. "Well, don't raise your arms while swimming!" she then lectures. What? WHAT? How does that make any sense whatsoever?

That bit's over now, and we are with the Police Community Support, as they go about harrassing innocents and trying to justify their camera-time.

I'm going to have a little lay down now. I fucking HATE Britian.

SBT

[Dandontdare]

Yeah NAZIS! Next time I'm at the beach and don't notice the warning flag, I hope those FASCIST BULLYBOYS will just stop trampling all over my human rights and let me drown like a free Englishman. Risking death 'cos you're a moron isn't a crime, you JOBSWORTH SCUM!

Oh, for a return to these days, when England was a free country!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBc02FPSvXc

Oh and TB ... nice segue!

[SmallBlueThing]

Yeah NAZIS! Next time I'm at the beach and don't notice the warning flag, I hope those FASCIST BULLYBOYS will just stop trampling all over my human rights and let me drown like a free Englishman. Risking death 'cos you're a moron isn't a crime, you JOBSWORTH SCUM!

Oh, for a return to these days, when England was a free country!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBc02FPSvXc

Oh and TB ... nice segue!

DDD, swimming while the sea's a bit rough isn't being a "moron", it's FINE! (as David Mitchell might say). What IS being a "moron" is 'mistaking' people who have just watched you stick a red flag up because you're being filmed, then WAVING AT THE CAMERA and shouting "oo-woo!", for drowning swimmers, and forcibly removing them from the sea against their will. And then, when they tell you they were fine (which it looked like they were doing all the way back to shore), trying to tell them off because you're on tv and need to justify your approach to your job.

She was a fucking disgrace of a human being.

SBT

[Dandontdare]

I didn't take into account the "people-acting-like-cocks-cos-they're-on-reality-telly' factor. 

[SmallBlueThing]

I didn't take into account the "people-acting-like-cocks-cos-they're-on-reality-telly' factor. 

DOES THIS MEAN I AM RIGHT??? SAY IT DOES OR I WILL FIGHT YOU!!!!



SBT

[Dandontdare]

I didn't take into account the "people-acting-like-cocks-cos-they're-on-reality-telly' factor. 

DOES THIS MEAN I AM RIGHT??? SAY IT DOES OR I WILL FIGHT YOU!!!!



SBT

Not until I get some sympathy for my starvation and bum-camera ordeal. And it's not just a bum-camera, it's a bum-camera that can CUT THINGS OFF if it don't like the look of 'em!

[SmallBlueThing]

You have my sympathy. My friend had that done, and they played the live feed on a screen he could see. He said he kept expecting Tom Baker's face to come zooming up the tunnel.
Although, come to think of it, that may have been when he had a camera forced down his jap's eye.
SBT

[Proudhuff]

Tom Baker's face to come zooming up the tunnel
SBT

I think Tom would like that!