Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments

[I, Cosh]

No Prog for the first Saturday in months. Why now Tharg? WHY?!

The absence is made worse by the vague memory of a horrendous, insistent buzzing noise at around five past seven this morning. By the time I'd figured out what it was and made it to the fron door, whoever it was had buggered off. NOOOOO!

On the bright side, at least I have a sporting chance of getting it on Monday.

[SmallBlueThing]

Cosh, isnt it a bank holiday monday?
SBT

[I, Cosh]

Cosh, isnt it a bank holiday monday?
SBT

Not in Bonnie Scotchland.

[Rog69]

I'm in the dog house.

There was a carrier bag full of rather ropey looking vegetables hanging around on our kitchen worktop for a few days so I took the initiative and bunged them into the recycling bin.

Turns out it was some overpriced organic veg that her indoors bought.

Oops.

[SmallBlueThing]

For the past three days my neighbour has been having sex at five o'fucking clock in the morning. Very loudly, with a woman who squeaks. Squeaks i say.
SBT

[Bolt-01]

She shouldn't squeak unless she needs oiling...

[Proudhuff]

Cosh, isnt it a bank holiday monday?
SBT

aye Cosh, its an English Bank Holiday so work and no Prog til mid-week for us!!

[SmallBlueThing]

URGH!-EEE!-URGH!-EEE!-URGH!-EEE!-URGH!-URGH!-URGH!-EEE!-EEE!-EEEEEE!-URGHHH!
repeat ad nauseum.
Either that, or a female tennis player has moved in and is practicing her serve, with a mouse.
SBT

[I, Cosh]

aye Cosh, its an English Bank Holiday so work and no Prog til mid-week for us!!

I'm off today and the postie came, but he still didn't bring any bloody Progs. What the fuck is wrong with Broken Britain?!

[Proudhuff]

What the fuck is wrong with Broken Britain?!

and where are these East Europeans coming from? 

[mogzilla]

found the prog in whsmiths on a bank holiday ....so wrong thread really

[HdE]

For the past three days my neighbour has been having sex at five o'fucking clock in the morning. Very loudly, with a woman who squeaks. Squeaks i say.
SBT

I've had a similar problem with neighbours in the past.

My solution? As SOON as there's a hint of any south-of-bellybutton type activities going on at an unacceptable volume (and if you can hear it, it's sodding well unacceptable!) make a point of doing something EQUALLY LOUD. That generally sends the message that if they can hear you, you can hear them.

My preferred technique has been to get up and make a cup of tea. The racket out kettle makes is enough to make the paper thin walls in our gaff positively rattle.

Loudly saying 'AH! THAT'S JUST WHAT I NEED! A NICE CUP OF TEA TO CALM MY NERVES AFTER BEING SUBJECTED TO MY NEIGHBOURS SEX LIFE!' also serves to underscore the point.

[Proudhuff]

For the past three days my neighbour has been having sex at five o'fucking clock in the morning. Very loudly, with a woman who squeaks. Squeaks i say.
SBT

I've had a similar problem with neighbours in the past.

My solution? As SOON as there's a hint of any south-of-bellybutton type activities going on at an unacceptable volume (and if you can hear it, it's sodding well unacceptable!) make a point of doing something EQUALLY LOUD. That generally sends the message that if they can hear you, you can hear them.

My preferred technique has been to get up and make a cup of tea. The racket out kettle makes is enough to make the paper thin walls in our gaff positively rattle.

Loudly saying 'AH! THAT'S JUST WHAT I NEED! A NICE CUP OF TEA TO CALM MY NERVES AFTER BEING SUBJECTED TO MY NEIGHBOURS SEX LIFE!' also serves to underscore the point.

...that or just start singing at the top of your voice, something like 'Rosemarie' or 'shutupayou face' should do the trick

[TordelBack]

For the past three days my neighbour has been having sex at five o'fucking clock in the morning. Very loudly, with a woman who squeaks. Squeaks i say.
SBT

I've had a similar problem with neighbours in the past.

My solution? As SOON as there's a hint of any south-of-bellybutton type activities going on at an unacceptable volume (and if you can hear it, it's sodding well unacceptable!) make a point of doing something EQUALLY LOUD. That generally sends the message that if they can hear you, you can hear them.

As I may well have noted on here before, we had a similar problem with loud and bizarre squeaking in our last place, so much so that we took to calling our downstairs neighbour's girlfriend Squeak - once inadvertently to another flatmate's face.  The first time we heard it, we actually didn't know what was going on - was it an animal in pain, was a gerbil training for the wheelspinning olympics, was it someone being slowly murdered (but clearly not strangled)?  When eventually there was a loud masculine grunt and the squeaking stopped we copped.  I've been exposed to my share of vocal ladies (blows on fingernails, rubs them on lapel in unconvincingly nonchalant fashion), but this was outside all human experience... And I've had broadband for a while now.

At first it resulted in some late-night giggling, but after a week or two of broken sleep (and you really couldn't sleep through it), we took to getting out of bed and stomping around talking loudly in that "did you hear a noise?" fashion.  All this achieved was that the squeak sessions were subsequently accompanied by loud (but not loud enough) music, which had the added annoyance of signaling that the squeaking was about to commence in an unspecified number of minutes.  The album of choice was the Pulp Fiction soundtrack, incidentally.  "Girl SQUEAK you'll be a SQUEAK woman SQUEAK soon GRUNT..."

As I may also have related here, the squeaking was ultimately replaced by something even worse - after a bad break-up, our nights were instead broken by less-than-manly sobbing and repeated, endless playing of ghastly 90's tearfest compilation A Woman's Heart.  "My heart SOB is low SOB My heart SOB is soooo SOB looow....". 

[Proudhuff]

you don't live above Cyberleader do you?