Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments

[GrinningChimera]

I cut my tongue this morning and it won't heal. Also had some hot stuff at lunch time that really really stung.

[Mardroid]

Commiserations GC. Tongue pain is the worst. Okay a burn is probably the worst but that's up there.

[Proudhuff]

I cut my tongue this morning and it won't heal. Also had some hot stuff at lunch time that really really stung.

Cheese is the answer to parmapharse John Lennon

[A.Cow]

Cheese is the answer to parmapharse John Lennon

If rock-star-related fromage is the solution, why not try Midge Ure cheddar?

[staticgirl]

Where cheese or chocolate doesn't fix things, try WD40. Pretty good rule of life.

[TordelBack]

In aged-dinghy sailing, we use this widely-cited troubleshooting guide to good effect: if it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape; if it doesn't move and it should, use WD40.  Keeps us afloat, mostly.

[mogzilla]

theres an anti epileptic drug called clonazepam that would make a damn fine alternative if not replacement to wd40 its very greasy a single drop goes a long way .

[The Legendary Shark]

Reminds me of an old army saying I was told about in my teens; "If it moves, salute it; if it doesn't move, paint it."

[The Doctor Alt 8]

Indeed Sharkie!
You'd think a 'the dog stays in the cab' would have ticked all the boxes for the Lady of gate.

[CrazyFoxMachine]

Nothing endears you more in the eyes of a client than a string of e-mails saying:

"sorry this is late, been ill - here we go!"

"whoops - sent you the wrong file there it is!"

"AH. Sorry -no THIS is the right file! Sorry again, sorry."

What an unprofessional pillock. Unfortunately this was me today 

I always thought I looked more like the "how not to do things" guy than the other one.

[Frank]

I always thought I looked more like the "how not to do things" guy than the other one

I hate the How To Do Things Guy, with his sensible haircut, polo shirt and pressed GAP khakis. You're better off with wonky bookcases and a TV with functions you have no idea how to use than turning into that smug cunt.

[The Legendary Shark]

Well, my new temporary accommodation is nowhere near big enough to store a tenth of my stuff. Most of my books and my entire comic collection will have to find a new home in a friend's loft and just about 90% of everything else will just have to go.
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On the plus side, my new temporary place has a great view and is in a quiet rural area.
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On the ultra plus side, it's a narrow boat. Her name? "Nirvana". The Shark is finally living on the water and, you know what, I'm excited! I'll post some pics when I can.
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Now all I need is a little job and I'm back on my feet again, all I need's about £100 a week and I'm golden. This feels every inch like it  could be a great opportunity...
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[TordelBack]

Nice one, Shark!  Good to see you're keeping on swimming.

[CrazyFoxMachine]

Come sail Nirvana down Bristol way, it'd be a magical journey - ! And you could write a book about it called "THERE'S A SHARK IN THE CANAL!"

[Trout]

Come sail Nirvana down Bristol way, it'd be a magical journey - ! And you could write a book about it called "THERE'S A SHARK IN THE CANAL!"

There's a sitcom in it, too. Nice one, the Shark!