1. when you hear all that money going up in smoke and think...it could go on books and booze!!!
2. You think the music in pubs is too loud.
3. 'The only reason you don't understand our music, is because you don't like it!'
Fake interweb point sfor anyone who gets that reference.
Quote from: auxlen on 05 November, 2015, 06:48:29 PM
2. You think the music in pubs is too loud.
You think music in pubs is just plain wrong.
Quote from: von Boom on 05 November, 2015, 07:13:44 PM
Quote from: auxlen on 05 November, 2015, 06:48:29 PM
2. You think the music in pubs is too loud.
You think music in pubs is just plain wrong.
As a man with a quiet voice and who often strains to hear other people properly, I've always hated loud music in pubs. Unless I specifically went there to watch a particular band play, keep the fucking racket down.
On the other hand, I groan when standing up these days. And I don't understand young people's fashions. Trousers halfway down your kex? No socks with slip on canvas shoes? Brillcreamed Hitler haircuts with Santa Claus beards? Shite and bollocks, I say. What happened to all the punks, goths, grebs, crusties and ravers? Bah.
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 05 November, 2015, 10:25:31 PM
What happened to all the punks, goths, grebs, crusties and ravers? Bah.
Look in the mirror.
:'(
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 05 November, 2015, 10:25:31 PMWhat happened to all the punks, goths, grebs, crusties and ravers?
Not to mention the only living boy in New Cross...
Cheers!
Jim
Y'know, I thought it sounded familiar after I typed it... Anyway, at least I know what happened ONE of the goths 😉
I like videogames as much as the next guy and like to think I can at least grasp the appeal of most youth trends (especially the nerdier ones), but I don't think I'll ever understand the preoccupation kids these days have with watching strangers play videogames online. Youtube is such an extraordinary innovation, it's potential as an outlet for creativity is almost limitless, and this is the most popular thing on it? I honestly find it hard to comprehend, and don't care how old that makes me sound.
Quote from: radiator on 05 November, 2015, 11:10:55 PM
I like videogames as much as the next guy and like to think I can at least grasp the appeal of most youth trends (especially the nerdier ones), but I don't think I'll ever understand the preoccupation kids these days have with watching strangers play videogames online. Youtube is such an extraordinary innovation, it's potential as an outlet for creativity is almost limitless, and this is the most popular thing on it? I honestly find it hard to comprehend, and don't care how old that makes me sound.
I can think of three things off the top of my head that playthrough videos are handy for...
Checking the game's any good before you buy/download it
Seeing the location of any hidden areas or easter eggs you may have missed
Finding out how to progress if you're stuck at a certain point
(and possibly for looking at particularly epic things folk have constructed in Minecraft and the like)
Other than that, I also do not see the point, but then I don't see the point of most spectator sports either.
Every once in a while, you get annoyed because Tails' real name is Miles Prower.
Quote from: auxlen on 05 November, 2015, 06:48:29 PM
3. 'The only reason you don't understand our music, is because you don't like it!'
Fake interweb point sfor anyone who gets that reference.
Rik from 'The Young Ones'.
I'm never getting old. I may become more
seasoned, windswept and
interesting.
Cheers
The last two decades for me has been an experiment in prolonging my adolescence beyond any reasonable limits. It's going well so far, despite the hair loss, evening naps, and constant need to hit the gym to stop adding 5lbs overnight.
At the end of the day, what's the point in having a disposable income if you can't spend it on booze, comics, music and games?
...you find yourself working in an adult college and 98% of the students, and some of the lecturers are younger than you.
... when you see people with middle aged faces, and they turn out to be younger than you. By 2 or 3 years.
....you refer to a twinge in the knee as your 'bad knee'
....your hangovers last 2 days.
You don't shave your head for two weeks and only realize how silver you've become when someone points it out.
...you're no longer being able to stay up all night and function in work the next day. Yeah, that really sucks, that one.
... you tut at youths driving erratically in fast cars.
... you consider the lyrics of Kanye West as an elaborate comedy number, but are not sure who the joke is on.
You're not sure who Kenny West is exactly.
You still masturbate, but you can't remember why.
NapalmKev is correct
QuoteYou still masturbate, but you can't remember why.
oof! :(
You are still compelled to notice women in very short skirts but your first thought is "jayzus girls, you'll catch your death", and your next is to mentally calculate whether you're technically old enough to be their grandfather, and your third is to wonder whether any of this counts as objectification.
When chatting about movies, you have to end every sentence with '...the original'.
Quote from: shaolin_monkey on 06 November, 2015, 10:08:24 AM
... you tut at youths driving erratically in fast cars.
Which is funny because when I was younger, the roads were full of eldsters driving too slow.
Quote from: Tiplodocus on 06 November, 2015, 12:37:22 PM
Quote from: shaolin_monkey on 06 November, 2015, 10:08:24 AM
... you tut at youths driving erratically in fast cars.
Which is funny because when I was younger, the roads were full of eldsters driving too slow.
You're a dinosaur, man.
QuoteYou are still compelled to notice women in very short skirts but your first thought is "jayzus girls, you'll catch your death",
whenever i see heavily pierced/tattoed/unusual colour haired young ladies i always think . 'Lord, what did your daddy do to you?'
also Lois CK: 'there's a reason it's called Girls Gone Wild and not Women Go Wild. When girls go wild they show their tits...when women go wild they drown their kids in the bath-tub.' (paraphrased).
I'm tempted to get a T-shirt I saw advertised that says "I may be old, but at least I got to see all the good bands"
You know you're really old when you no longer "fall over" but "have a fall"
Quote from: Dandontdare on 06 November, 2015, 05:35:20 PM
I'm tempted to get a T-shirt I saw advertised that says "I may be old, but at least I got to see all the good bands"
Heh. I feel old when I see young people with Kurt Cobain t-shirts and realise it's the same as when people my age used to wear Jim Morrison ones.
I had tickets to Nirvana, but didn't go because a) I didn't like them that much and was only really going to keep a mate company, and perhaps more importantly b) Kurt died the day the concert was meant to be on.
QuoteKurt died the day the concert was meant to be on.
A most legit reason if ever there was one!
Oh, I dunno. That never stopped Michael Jaxon Prince.
Heh, here they call it 'tumbled.' As a kid I thought old people were quite gymnastic. 'Old Mrs Whatsername's tumbled again.'
...when you start saying things your mum dad did to you... I've caught myself twice now telling my lass "you look with your eyes not with your hands" in shops
...(unless you're pale man of course)
...you start creating threads titled You know you're an auld bugger when...
Quote from: Grugz on 06 November, 2015, 11:43:58 PMI've caught myself twice now telling my lass "you look with your eyes not with your hands" in shops
What if it's a shop that sells braille books?
...to register at websites you have to scroll further and further down the "Year of Birth" dialogue box.
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 06 November, 2015, 05:41:35 PMh
Quote from: Dandontdare on 06 November, 2015, 05:35:20 PM
I'm tempted to get a T-shirt I saw advertised that says "I may be old, but at least I got to see all the good bands"
Heh. I feel old when I see young people with Kurt Cobain t-shirts and realise it's the same as when people my age used to wear Jim Morrison ones.
I had tickets to Nirvana, but didn't go because a) I didn't like them that much and was only really going to keep a mate company, and perhaps more importantly b) Kurt died the day the concert was meant to be on.
I worry that we are the same person. Though I think my Nirvana ticket was a couple of days after and I really wanted to as I like Nirvana but more importantly Sebadoh were supporting.
The Doors thing so rings true to me, though it was graffiti on desks at school not T-shirts.
...you still think of 2000AD as the distant future. :(
...your car is old enough to vote.
...today's young folk look like the people in your parents' wedding photos.
...swear words that your kids insist are innocuous make you reach for your thrashing broom.
...you realise that some of the people who spoiled you rotten as a kid were born in the 19th C.
Policemen/women all seem to have tattoos on their arms/necks now.
you are possibly the oldest drokker on a thread of old drokkers complaining about being a bunch of old drokkers.
I don't mind that they want to wear tattoos. I think it indicates how much time has shifted by and perhaps demonstrates how much more individual we are these days. When I was younger the only people I remember having tattoos were Ex Servicemen, Tarmacers, labourers and crooks and these were usually black or fading green. Now everyone seems to have one and the artwork is astounding with all the colours of the rainbow. Perhaps multi cultural Britain has decided to wear it's colour's literally on it's sleeve.
...you wonder that something initially intended to represent belonging to a society, the tattoo, has come to represent its exact opposite; disconnection from a society. Then grumbling because these young 'uns (and most of the old ones, to be frank) just don't get how socially significant that might be.
The person whose image you desperately tried to pull off as a fifteen-year-old now looks like this:
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZMAlqO3ODYk/VMekMN7d7OI/AAAAAAAAB8g/qdTA_YPkw9Y/s1600/robert-smith-cure.jpg)
I'm still a teenager really, trying hard to deal with the age, responsibilities and bad looks of a middle-aged man.
Being young for me was like turning up late for a party: you're just settling in, having a couple of cans
and getting to know people, when someone turns off the music, turns on the lights and tells you it's time to leave.
(Colin: I liked Sebadoh too. Maybe we are the same person.)
Quote from: IAMTHESYSTEM on 07 November, 2015, 10:19:45 AM
Policemen/women all seem to have tattoos on their arms/necks now.
Or have Hipster beards...
(http://i.imgur.com/ufbVj6Y.jpg)
He can't be a real copper, surely? Real coppers should look like Dixon of Dock Green...
When you read a thread title like this and feel an instant sense of warmth, belonging and solidarity.
Is this the bit where you all say you are 38-40 and I realise I am more than a decade in front?
You put your back out just walking in to the kitchen. I had to crouch on the floor and the pain was so intense I thought I was going to be sick. :'(
QuoteIs this the bit where you all say you are 38-40 and I realise I am more than a decade in front?
44, here.
QuoteYou put your back out just walking in to the kitchen.
i once put my back out wiping on the toilet. i literally cried while i finished the job and somehow pulled up my pants before calling for help. and i was at home, too. true british grit that!!! :D
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 07 November, 2015, 12:52:32 PM
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZMAlqO3ODYk/VMekMN7d7OI/AAAAAAAAB8g/qdTA_YPkw9Y/s1600/robert-smith-cure.jpg)
That reminds me of Feral.
Quote from: Prodigal2 on 07 November, 2015, 01:49:19 PM
When you read a thread title like this and feel an instant sense of warmth, belonging and solidarity.
Is this the bit where you all say you are 38-40 and I realise I am more than a decade in front?
No, this is the bit where I annoy everybody on the thread by saying i'm 24. ;)
Quote from: Scolaighe Ó'Bear on 07 November, 2015, 12:48:10 AM
Quote from: Grugz on 06 November, 2015, 11:43:58 PMI've caught myself twice now telling my lass "you look with your eyes not with your hands" in shops
What if it's a shop that sells braille books?
touché! :D
Quote from: auxlen on 07 November, 2015, 04:27:07 PM
QuoteIs this the bit where you all say you are 38-40 and I realise I am more than a decade in front?
44, here.
QuoteYou put your back out just walking in to the kitchen.
i once put my back out wiping on the toilet. i literally cried while i finished the job and somehow pulled up my pants before calling for help. and i was at home, too. true british grit that!!! :D
can relate to both of those examples!!! hope you feel better soon ,but if not get it checked out as I was suffering for months before we discovered I have a prolapsed disk
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 06 November, 2015, 05:41:35 PM
Heh. I feel old when I see young people with Kurt Cobain t-shirts and realise it's the same as when people my age used to wear Jim Morrison ones.
Snap.
You didn't miss much, Jayzus.
Stevie caught them at the Thebarton Theatre* in January 1992 &, quite frankly, the band clearly really did not want to be there.
*when he bought his ticket they were scheduled for the rather much smaller backroom at the Old Lion Hotel in North Adelaide. Then
Nevermind dropped in September...
....when you clearly remember seeing Nirvana play at the SFX Hall in Dublin 1992, but can't find any reference to it happening and it turns out to be the Point that they played instead. How the feck has my brain confused the SFX and the Point?
I'm amazed to learn that the Point even existed in 1992, but google informs me it opened in 1988. Eh?
Nirvana and the Stone Roses will forever be bands that people just 1-3 years younger than me liked with a fervour I've never understood.
I saw the aforementioned Cure there in about 90 or 91. It most definitely existed: it was an ugly, dingy kip but it was all I knew.
As for the Stone Roses; I resisted them at first, hanging on for dear life to my gothy Curehead ways, but later realised I was only a country bumpkin who was missing out on some of the best music of that generation.
Back on topic though, I love a lot of repetitive electronic music. But dubstep? Jesus wept. What is it? What does it want of me? Make it go away.
As I type, a young chap has just walked past in rolled up slacks, no socks and slip on patent shoes. I know him, he's a very nice fellow , but I mean, really.
(I'm joking, of course, I know it's him that looks cool while I'm a sad old man who doesn't understand.)
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 08 November, 2015, 02:40:05 PM
As I type, a young chap has just walked past in rolled up slacks, no socks and slip on patent shoes. I know him, he's a very nice fellow , but I mean, really.
(I'm joking, of course, I know it's him that looks cool while I'm a sad old man who doesn't understand.)
A wetsuit would be the only sensible sartorial choice for today. And it's always cool to be sensible, right kids?
Well, everyone seemed to love that young Kick-Your-Arse fellow in his wetsuit in that film.
Thunderball?
Flattery will get you nowhere, Sharky.
In that case - I got nothing :(
Quote from: auxlen on 07 November, 2015, 04:27:07 PM
QuoteIs this the bit where you all say you are 38-40 and I realise I am more than a decade in front?
44, here.
QuoteYou put your back out just walking in to the kitchen.
i once put my back out wiping on the toilet. i literally cried while i finished the job and somehow pulled up my pants before calling for help. and i was at home, too. true british grit that!!! :D
My back went when I was just bending down gently to hand over a register to a lecturer at the college where I work. (This was a year or two ago.) I didn't shout out or make much noise at all, but I could not straighten properly and IT HURT. I didn't say anything, and if the bunch of students I was in front of noticed, they didn't remark either.
My colleague noticed when I walked back to my desk. I believe her phrase was: "What happened? You're walking like you've got a rod stuck up your arse!"
I remember sitting back in the office chair (thankfully it's a NICE office chair with a bendy bit that fits the contours of your lower back) and gradually bending back..... Ow..ow...ow... Aaaaah. Blessed relief.
Thankfully I got over it quickly (i was fine after a few minutes) but it just goes to show how it can catch you. i've bent over in more extreme ways since then and my back was okay, but it makes you realise you should be careful with your posture. Not that I am.
I have noticed a general accumulation of twinges, aches and throbs. I twanged my elbow (my good one, too!) on a roof rafter months ago and it's still not right.
Quote from: The Legendary Shark on 08 November, 2015, 05:24:17 PM
I have noticed a general accumulation of twinges, aches and throbs. I twanged my elbow (my good one, too!) on a roof rafter months ago and it's still not right.
Maybe you should get it checked.
Mind you, I'm one to talk.
... you start to talk about the Cold War and have to stop for 5 minutes to explain what communism is.
... you quote Blackadder / Red Dwarf / Monty Python and they look at you clueless.
.. a minor conflict you served during is part of a GCSE history textbook.
... When you see a lone person on the street loudly extolling the virtues of labradoodles over cavachons into thin air as they stride purposefully along your first reaction is to assume that they are a few stamps short of a free latte.
Quote from: Tordelback on 09 November, 2015, 07:05:05 PM
... When you see a lone person on the street loudly extolling the virtues of labradoodles over cavachons into thin air as they stride purposefully along your first reaction is to assume that they are a few stamps short of a free latte.
It's far from lattes we were raised, old chap.
You have to get up 3 or 4 times a night to have a piss!
...when you have to explain to a sci fi fan who either Chris Foss or Harrison were.
Quote from: O Lucky Stevie! on 10 November, 2015, 12:28:12 AM
...when you have to explain to a sci fi fan who either Chris Foss or Harrison were.
I would say that if they don't know the answer then they are not true fans!
Quote from: Colin_YNWA on 07 November, 2015, 09:58:44 AM
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 06 November, 2015, 05:41:35 PM
I had tickets to Nirvana, but didn't go because a) I didn't like them that much and was only really going to keep a mate company, and perhaps more importantly b) Kurt died the day the concert was meant to be on.
I worry that we are the same person. Though I think my Nirvana ticket was a couple of days after and I really wanted to as I like Nirvana but more importantly Sebadoh were supporting.
I had a ticket to see Nirvana at the QMU in Glasgow in 1991. It's wasn't a big venue and, between the tour being announced and it actually happening, Smells Like Teen Spirit had happened. Supply could no longer match demand.
That afternoon, a former schoolfriend unexpectedly came through to Glasgow with the notion of having a few pints. Long story short: by 6pm he'd left me sleeping in my bathroom in my halls of residence and gone back out for more pints with the guys I was supposed to be going to the gig with (they were just starting.) A couple of them were apparently lucky to get into the gig and not one of the clowns had the common sense to take my ticket and use it or even try and sell it!
And you know you're an auld bugger when... your analogies reference technology that nobody under the age of thirty has ever seen in real life.
...when you discuss the soundtrack to Raiders of the Lost Ark, and they say 'what's Raiders of the Lost Ark?'
Quote from: The Cosh on 10 November, 2015, 10:55:59 PM
Quote from: Colin_YNWA on 07 November, 2015, 09:58:44 AM
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 06 November, 2015, 05:41:35 PM
I had tickets to Nirvana, but didn't go because a) I didn't like them that much and was only really going to keep a mate company, and perhaps more importantly b) Kurt died the day the concert was meant to be on.
I worry that we are the same person. Though I think my Nirvana ticket was a couple of days after and I really wanted to as I like Nirvana but more importantly Sebadoh were supporting.
I had a ticket to see Nirvana at the QMU in Glasgow in 1991. It's wasn't a big venue and, between the tour being announced and it actually happening, Smells Like Teen Spirit had happened. Supply could no longer match demand.
That afternoon, a former schoolfriend unexpectedly came through to Glasgow with the notion of having a few pints. Long story short: by 6pm he'd left me sleeping in my bathroom in my halls of residence and gone back out for more pints with the guys I was supposed to be going to the gig with (they were just starting.) A couple of them were apparently lucky to get into the gig and not one of the clowns had the common sense to take my ticket and use it or even try and sell it!
And you know you're an auld bugger when... your analogies reference technology that nobody under the age of thirty has ever seen in real life.
I still have my unused Nirvana ticket :(
I cant remember the last gig I was at. Not because of all the lovely, lovely drugs but because it was so long ago.
Quote from: Tordelback on 09 November, 2015, 07:05:05 PM
... When you see a lone person on the street loudly extolling the virtues of labradoodles over cavachons into thin air as they stride purposefully along your first reaction is to assume that they are a few stamps short of a free latte.
Genuine LOL. Stealing that.
Quote from: auxlen on 06 November, 2015, 05:10:34 PM
QuoteYou are still compelled to notice women in very short skirts but your first thought is "jayzus girls, you'll catch your death",
whenever i see heavily pierced/tattoed/unusual colour haired young ladies i always think . 'Lord, what did your daddy do to you?'
Not sure I understand this one. I have plenty of friends with piercings, tattoos and dyed hair and I'm not aware of their 'daddies doing anything to them'?
You switch on the computer with every intention of getting some writing done but spend an hour deciding on a new desktop wallpaper before ending up here blithering at people.
Quote from: Tjm86 on 10 November, 2015, 05:30:59 AM
Quote from: O Lucky Stevie! on 10 November, 2015, 12:28:12 AM
...when you have to explain to a sci fi fan who either Chris Foss or Harrison were.
I would say that if they don't know the answer then they are not true fans!
Especially as both have 2000AD connections...
Quote from: sheridan on 11 November, 2015, 02:11:21 PM
Quote from: auxlen on 06 November, 2015, 05:10:34 PM
QuoteYou are still compelled to notice women in very short skirts but your first thought is "jayzus girls, you'll catch your death",
whenever i see heavily pierced/tattoed/unusual colour haired young ladies i always think . 'Lord, what did your daddy do to you?'
Not sure I understand this one. I have plenty of friends with piercings, tattoos and dyed hair and I'm not aware of their 'daddies doing anything to them'?
I took it to be a reference to Lisbeth from
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.
Quote from: sheridan on 11 November, 2015, 02:11:21 PM
Quote from: auxlen on 06 November, 2015, 05:10:34 PM
QuoteYou are still compelled to notice women in very short skirts but your first thought is "jayzus girls, you'll catch your death",
whenever i see heavily pierced/tattoed/unusual colour haired young ladies i always think . 'Lord, what did your daddy do to you?'
Not sure I understand this one. I have plenty of friends with piercings, tattoos and dyed hair and I'm not aware of their 'daddies doing anything to them'?
You're never too old for piercings, dyed hair and tats... http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6436327/Retired-bank-manager-sets-record-for-most-body-piercings.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6436327/Retired-bank-manager-sets-record-for-most-body-piercings.html)
Mmm-hmm, my missus got her first tattoo at 42, she's averaged 2 (small ones) a year since. Basically as fast as she can save the money. Don't see the appeal myself, but they make her happy and that makes me happy, so yay tattoos!
when you get agitated that they call 80s music RETRO
and you actaully bought PROG 1 in a newsagents...... not read the reprints or a copy you got on ebay.
My knees made a creaking noise at the gym this morning. They've never done that before. :o
"Might as well collect my bus pass and book a young at heart holiday!"
Oh shut up you young whippersnapper!
You know you're getting old when you go for a haircut and the barber shaves your ear-lobes for the first time.
The first grey pube was an eye-opener. NO-ONE FUCKING WARNED ME!!!
I'm pretty sure Billy Connolly tried.
Just For Men is your friend! It only hides the grey (less painful than plucking them!)
Haircuts get more expensive - my barber now charges a finder's fee.
Quote from: The Legendary Shark on 12 November, 2015, 01:18:57 PM
Haircuts get more expensive - my barber now charges a finder's fee.
:lol:
When you get told only old people listen to dubstep (my mind boggled a bit). I have no idea what they're listening to now. It appears to be ye olde fashioned drum and bass?
When those books you read as a teen are now being taught in school as classic literature.
What's dubstep?
When you're 44 and so happy that your first post, after many tries, has reached multiple pages!!!!
What is dubstep?
Quote from: staticgirl on 12 November, 2015, 03:09:18 PM
When you get told only old people listen to dubstep (my mind boggled a bit). I have no idea what they're listening to now. It appears to be ye olde fashioned drum and bass?
Quote from: Old Tankie on 12 November, 2015, 06:01:44 PM
What is dubstep?
What's drum and bass???
Dubstep is the little platform where people kneel to be knighted by the queen. Or alternatively the stage in film-making where they add the foreign language voice-over.
Sorry. While my knowledge is scant, it's a kind of unlistenable, slowed-down version of drum and bass music. I think.
Edit: apologies, shao lin.
As far as I understand, Dubstep is heavy on the WUB WUB WUB noises.
...when you get home feeling really achy after work, which mainly involves sitting behind a desk.
I did shift some heavy containers, not long before I left, but it's mainly my legs that were aching. (I do walk a while too, on the way home, but I do that every day. I don't ache that much usually!)
A quirky foxtrot popular in the capital of Ireland. Z
Nosehair.
...when your mate who writes for them music rags has supplied the linear notes for an anniversary re-issue of a bunch of records (http://shop.cherryred.co.uk/cherryred-exd.asp?id=5234) that you bought just after you left uni.
[img=http://shop.cherryred.co.uk/images/TELESCOPES%20creation%20recordings%20low.jpg][/img]
A visit to the doctor includes the doctor wearing you like a hand puppet.
:o
Quote from: von Boom on 18 November, 2015, 02:07:17 PM
A visit to the doctor includes the doctor wearing you like a hand puppet.
Get your Lawyer and sue!
Quote from: von Boom on 18 November, 2015, 02:07:17 PM
A visit to the doctor includes the doctor wearing you like a hand puppet.
Now here's an interesting thing (to me). This medical bum fun has never happened to me at the Doctors. Nor indeed has the ball-cupping beloved of movie draft-board medics. In fact, at 44 I have never had what popular culture has intimated to me constitutes a 'checkup', never mind a 'full medical' - not even when I took out Life Insurance a dozen years back. In my defense while I'm overweight, prone to one bad cold and one bad chesty thing a year, and seem to be developing arthritis in my right elbow and both knees*, I'm otherwise in good health (physical, that is - mentally I'm a fecking trainwreck). I'd say I darken the door of my GP once every two years tops, have spent exactly one night in hospital over 30 years ago, and last troubled A&E for stitches in 1991.
Should I be demanding a periodic fumbling of my nethers and measuring of my vitals?
*Steady now, it's exactly what you think.
Quote from: Tordelback on 18 November, 2015, 04:02:48 PMShould I be demanding a periodic fumbling of my nethers and measuring of my vitals?
Only if you missed-out on
The Golden Age of Irish Catholicism.
Quote from: JOE SOAP on 18 November, 2015, 04:12:54 PM
Quote from: Tordelback on 18 November, 2015, 04:02:48 PMShould I be demanding a periodic fumbling of my nethers and measuring of my vitals?
Only if you missed-out on The Golden Age of Irish Catholicism.
So
that's what a Doctor of Divinity does, I did wonder.
In bumine Parted et Fingered et Sphincterus Sancti.
Get your blood suger checked and have a PSA check, you're getting to a dodgy age!
Yes, always good to check your blood pressure too. My Dad went to the doctors for something else a few hours are back, and had a check up when offered only to find it was sky high! Scary thing is, he felt fine.
You don't always get the headaches etc associated with high BP.
My last check up was couple of years ago. I was fine apart from my cholesterol being slightly too high. "But that's quite normal" said the doctor. (Not that that's a good thing. I think a large proportion of people have that issue!) Something I was supposed to manage with the correct diet... But I can't say I've really done that .
When you count alcohol units....
also...*sheds a tear* I've started an 8 page thread....it's not a Goaty thread but I'm still moved.
Quote from: von Boom on 18 November, 2015, 02:07:17 PM
A visit to the doctor includes the doctor wearing you like a hand puppet.
I've only had the pleasure once. The worse thing was, the doctor brought all his mates round to watch, with a bag of cans and a GoPro.
No part of the second sentence happened but I was kind of traumatised for the rest of the day.
I once had a pilonidal sinus, otherwise known as "Jeep-Driver's Bottom," in which a hair grows into the body in the cleft between the buttocks causing a painful abscess. They cure it by digging the abscess out and leaving a hole. This hole cannot be stitched up and has to heal from the inside out, meaning that every day the hole has to be packed with bandages. This packing process hurts like a bastard.
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The first day I'm lying on my belly with my bare arse in the air having this done, grinding my teeth and trying not to scream like a little girl, when a dozen trainee doctors swept in to observe this "unusual condition." One of these trainees asked how deep the hole was and the teaching doctor said, 'let's see. Nurse, a moment?' She moved aside and the teaching doctor poked the blunt end of a pencil into the bloody hole and measured off the depth with his thumb, showing it to the trainees who all stroked their chins and hummed and ahed with a great deal of solemnity.
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The second day, about four hundred student nurses came to watch my bum. As the procedure continued with me gripping the bed head bars so tightly my knuckles nearly popped and trying to act all 'pain? What pain?' one of the student nurses took pity and asked the Matron, 'shall I hold his hand?'
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Result! I thought. Unfortunately, the Matron said, 'don't be daft, he'll break your fingers.'
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After which I insisted, unusual condition or not, no more damned spectators.
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The joke at the mini-bus firm where I worked was, and this will no doubt resonate here too, that I was so full of shit I'd grown another arse hole.
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You know you're an auld bugger when you find you hold dozens of similar medical anecdotes.
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Truly, that is an auld bugger's story...
You win this thread Sharkie. Well played.
Heh, that's the first and only time my backside ever won anything :)
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Remind me* one day to tell you the story of the wart I once had on my willy.
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*Don't, obviously.
You're a walking Viz strip, Sharky.
"Theres a hole in my arse!"
I imagine that story would be great way to afford some peace from your cell-mates if you ever go to prison.
No offence intended to you, of course.
Well. That's me not getting much sleep tonight...
Oh, wasn't insinuating you are crooked or I'm that enthusiastic about anybody on this forum. It's just that your problem reminds me like a old story about some fellow prison inmate who got the words Rock Hudson was here! tattoed on his butt just to keep the literate inmates from trying to back door him after dropping the soap in the shower room.
Not that I'm insinuating anything about that either......It's just some odd story association of my own.
I know what it's like to let people know about embarrassing personal problem if you remember I mentioned mine earlier.
No offence taken, Thrylls. I actually had a good chuckle at your post.
Quote from: Tordelback on 09 November, 2015, 07:05:05 PM
... When you see a lone person on the street loudly extolling the virtues of labradoodles over cavachons into thin air as they stride purposefully along your first reaction is to assume that they are a few stamps short of a free latte.
Stevie similarly wonders why everyone in the 21st Century suffers from such ferocious toothache.
...
My teeth, top and bottom, on the roght side of my jaw feel like they're disintegrating. I've been in agony for three days now, have been put on a course of antibiotics in case it's an abscess forming, and have had an old filling drilled-out and replaced. These measures are not helping...
Well I'm 28 hippyno1 and a similar thing is happening to my mouth I tell thee. I've had a troublingly major ache in the top and bottom right-hand side for two days now...
IT'S AN ALIEN INVASION.
Chew raw garlic and hold the pulp against the abscess for as long as you can stand it - which for me was just shy of a minute. Another good one is to squeeze a lemon and use the juice as a mouthwash.
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These things worked for me a whole lot better than antibiotics - quicker, cheaper, natural and better for you. What's not to like (except the burning mouth and streaming eyes caused by chewing raw garlic, which wears off after a few minutes anyway)?
Quote from: The Legendary Shark on 20 November, 2015, 11:21:47 PM
(except the burning mouth and streaming eyes caused by chewing raw garlic, which wears off after a few minutes anyway)?
So a bit similar to inhaling CS gas then !?!?
Gets you ready for the riots!
My knees are still clicking BTW. Only now I think it's in morse code.
Hope you wern't kissing any of the local sharkesses after that treatment Sharky. Z
Heck, Z - it's the only way I can keep 'em off me*.
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*No it isn't, I've got scores of ways**.
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**Apparently...
Bit late to the whole Bum thing but....my dad had piles his whole life and one day they 'prolapsed' and he went to the GP. The GP phoned an ambulance immediately my dad dropped his troursers and my poor dad had to endure endless rounds of students looking at his ringpeice because it was so unusual for the whole lot to prolapse at the same time.
Furthermore, when me and Mrs auxlen were students were rented this hovel in a particularly disgusting area as it was cheap. It really was obscene how dirty it was and we did our best to clean up the dump but we contracted scabies. My wife had lived in Hong Kong for the previous 10 or so years so she din't have a GP so went to the Royal Hospital A+E. The scabies was so bad the doctor called for a photographer and asked that she sign a disclaimer to have her hands put in a medical journal as a 'remarkable case.' she agreed and we often look at pictures of scabies to see if we recognize her hands.
I REALIZE I'M THE COMMON FACTOR HERE...
Your a walking disaster zone, auxlen!
Quote from: auxlen on 28 November, 2015, 05:19:16 PM
we often look at pictures of scabies to see if we recognize her hands.
That's so romantic :'(
Quote from: auxlen on 28 November, 2015, 05:19:16 PMThe scabies was so bad the doctor called for a photographer and asked that she sign a disclaimer to have her hands put in a medical journal as a 'remarkable case.' she agreed and we often look at pictures of scabies to see if we recognize her hands.
For every 1,000 posts revealing the shocking fact that Dr Who is silly, mega-rich tossers don't really care about us as much as they claim to, new Star Wars may not be as good as that movie you saw when you were 7, or how the Paperclip assistant in '90s Word is a lot like Slaine, you get one like this.
And it's all worth it.
I live in Asia (Singapore)
the respectful (which is a majority to be fair) of under 30s refer to me as UNCLE!!!!!!
which is a way of addressing an older man. if you dont know him by name,
constant reminder I am 2 years shy of being fifty!!!
Uncle Daddy?
Devon must be so confused :-\
'Uncle Daddy' is how my mate Keith refers to himself, but only when advising visitors not to occupy his special armchair
...you automatically assume that one of your oldest friends, who was hospitalized almost a month ago and hasn't been answering his 'phone for the last seven days, must be dead. Because, when you get to my age, you start expecting people to die. Then, when you find out the truth - that a student nurse accidentally knocked his Nokia into a full bed pan - you spend ten minutes tutting at the incompetence of the young instead of being happy that he's still alive.
Quote from: The Legendary Shark on 29 March, 2016, 08:30:21 PM
... you spend ten minutes tutting at the incompetence of the young instead of being happy that he's still alive.
You know you're an old bugger when you recoil at the idea of tutting for ten minutes because it would leave you with a cracked pallet and chapped lips.
Rather the incompetance of young than the incontincence of old. ;)
Quote from: Mister Pops on 29 March, 2016, 08:55:53 PM
You know you're an old bugger when you recoil at the idea of tutting for ten minutes because it would leave you with a cracked pallet and chapped lips.
You must still be young. The older you get, the greater resilience you develop to protracted tuttage.
I was speaking to a friend last week about how some of us eldsters might think we look ok(ish) for our age but in the eyes of youngsters we look properly ancient.
Soon after my friend came to the UK as a refugee in the 70s, an uncle of his died. Family were crying and as a 15-year-old he was thinking: "It's sad that he passed away but why is everyone crying so much? He had a good life, he lived to a good age. Everyone's turn comes."
His uncle died at 45!