Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments

[SmallBlueThing]

My latest digibox (number nine, i believe) has just found a new way to piss me off. As well as not having a properly functioning EPG (no, it's not my area having a 'weak signal', mr shopkeeper, the previous eight have been fine in that respect) and a STUPID function whereby you cant just scroll through the channels til you get to radio, like every other box, instead having to press the 'radio' button, then press it again to go back to tv... As well as this, the '3' and 'radio' buttons have decided to fall off the remote, meaning i cant listen to radio at all. Nine boxes in six years. Previous eight just died, this one is just shit. I've had cheap ones, expensive ones, and everything in between. All crap. Freeview can suck my arse.
SBT

[The Legendary Shark]

This is called "Planned obsolescence."

Manufacturers build things to fail so that you'll buy another in a few years. Clever, aren't they?

[Rog69]

We did Amazon wish lists for our two kids to make it easier for our families to know what to get them for Crimbo.

My mother in law decided to buy one item but went to the shops to get it instead and didn't tell us for a week so someone else bought it in the meantime from Amazon.

My Mother bought several items but for some unknown reason decided to leave them in her basket for over a week before paying for them and in the meantime someone else bought two of the items.

FFS.

[COMMANDO FORCES]

No washing machine.

What! Has your mum gone on holiday 

[Peter Wolf]

Next door that i was talking about are moving out on Monday.

And to think, it was only a day ago you were wishing them dead! Looks like they had a lucky escape there, what with it being the wish fairy's weekend off and all.

They are a Gay couple and it seems like they have fallen out with each other and one has been kicked out of the house.They are having a huge row right now and i overheard some of what they were saying.Its really kicking off now but i am blocking it out by listening to music through headphones.

Its so dramatic !!   

"I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU !!! - I WANT YOU PACKED AND OUT OF THIS HOUSE WHEN I GET BACK FROM WORK!!!!"

[Roger Godpleton]

I'm not allowed to make clapping sounds with my feet no more.

[JayzusB.Christ]

No washing machine.

I once had a washing machine that started spilling dirty water all over my flat, and I haven't a clue about plumbing. After weeks of using the launderette I was lying in bed half asleep thinking about something else entirely when I suddenly realised what was wrong with the washing machine, which I then fixed in a matter of minutes.
I am the Archimedes of unimportant things.

[Roger Godpleton]

I remember it was that Wednesday
Oh when it rained and it rained
They traipsed mud all over the house
It took hours and hours to scrub it out
All over the hall carpet
I took my mop and bucket
And I cleaned and I cleaned
The kitchen floor
Until it sparkled
Then I took my laundry basket
And put the linen all in it
And everything I could fit in it
And all our dirty clothes that hadn't gone into the wash
And all your shirts and jeans and things
And put them in the new washing machine
Washing machine
Washing machine

I watched them go 'round and 'round
My blouse wrapping itself around your trousers
Oh the waves are going out
My skirt floating up around my waist
As I wade out into the surf
Oh and the waves are coming in
Oh and the waves are going out
Oh and you're standing right behind me
Little fish swim between my legs
Oh and the waves are coming in
Oh and the waves are going out
Oh and the waves are coming in
Out of the corner of my eye
I think I see you standing outside
But it's just your shirt
Hanging on the washing line
Waving its arm as the wind blows by
And it looks so alive
Nice and white
Just like its climbed right out
Of my washing machine
Washing machine
Washing machine

Slooshy sloshy slooshy sloshy
Get that dirty shirty clean
Slooshy sloshy slooshy sloshy
Make those cuffs and collars gleam
Everything clean and shiny

Washing machine
Washing machine
Washing machine

[JayzusB.Christ]

yes. in fact, i'd go so far as to add:

Diplomatic Washing machine
Climb down from cloud cuckoo land
Dish this dirt for senile convert
Clean living as in the adverts

And in this brave new world
Proud is the Philistine
And in this brave new world
Who needs the sun to shine

EDIT: Fuck. i'm quoting john lydon, but watch coincidence rear its godlike head at 2.16
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZnA4jHuyzs

[SquashedFly]

One of the few fellow artists Lydon didn't view as a big bag of wank if I remember correctly.

seems to set me off on some PIL listening spree now.

[House of Usher]

"I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU !!! - I WANT YOU PACKED AND OUT OF THIS HOUSE WHEN I GET BACK FROM WORK!!!!"

But please don't break anything. 

[SquashedFly]

It isn't everyday you get to witness a real life soap drama unfold before your eyes. Maybe they will end up on Jeremy Kyle.

[exilewood]

She is the diamond's daughter
Scorpion Honey made of sugar cane
The sister of risk
A travelling rose, a subterranean.
Humming birds hover in the high summer heat
The taste is bitter, the taste is sweet
She will push you over the end
And then she will guide you safely home again.

She is the Empress card
The genius waitress, the be all & end all
She can do the Darktown Strut, stepping it up
She can do the Georgia Crawl.
The needle drops - the record spins
Gypsy hips swing to the mandolin
She will push you over the end
Then she will guide you safely home again.

...just thought I'd say.

[Peter Wolf]

I am late paying council tax because i mislaid the bill as it got mixed up with other paperwork and then forgot about it completely.Then i was curious why i hadnt been sent a bill and so i thought bollocks to them if they cant send a bill as i cant pay it unless i am billed.Why should i ask them to do their job when they should be doing it anyway ?

So now i have got a court summons which isnt a big deal but as i forgot that i had been billed then why wasnt i sent a reminder ??

The bill was sent in late August and its now roughly 3 months later so i should have been sent a reminder 1.5 months ago where i would have been given the opportunity to avoid a court summons.Now i am not allowed to pay in instalments as i have to pay the full amount including paying for services i have yet to receive which is normally out of the question but legislation by govt stipulates i have to pay in full to avoid a CCJ.

I am going to say something about this but they can have a full payment if they want as it doesnt matter to me but just to spite them and make my point i am not paying the 25 quid court summons charge.

[Colin Zeal]

Orient's potential 2nd round FA Cup tie at Droyslden has been switched to a Monday night so it can be shown on ESPN if we get through the replay. No nice away trip to a non-league outfit for me now. Bastards.