Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments

[Minkyboy]

I have to go to India...for the weekend.
4 days away, 2.5 of them travelling. Sigh.

[Banners]

Took me about an hour to do one of Jamie Oliver's 15 minute meals.

[TordelBack]

Took me about an hour to do one of Jamie Oliver's 15 minute meals.

My mother got that book for Christmas, flicked through it with the eye of experience while laughing quietly, and then gave it to me.  You're doing better than I ever managed, Banners.  The prep alone has taken me over an hour, but that's supposedly okay, because the titular 15 minutes doesn't actually start until you start heating things.

[Banners]

Heh.

There's the washing up too. And you also have to add on the many hours spent looking around the supermarket for the very obscure and highly expensive ingredients Mr Oliver assumes we already have in our cupboards.

[Tiplodocus]

I have managed to get two thirds of one of his thirty minute meals down to forty.

[Simon Beigh]

Based on my experience, the "15 minutes" is what it takes to eat the meal. I don't suppose a book called "Jamie Oliver's It Takes Bloody Ages Just To Find The Sodding Ingredients, Nevermind Chopping And Cooking The Damn Thing Meals" would sell too well...

[radiator]

Because fucking PMS - the bane of my existence!

Why why why does almost every single month, my girlfriend moves out for a week and a foul-tempered little goblin moves in to take her place? It is like walking on eggshells the entire time, and there is literally nothing I can do to avoid it. It's all very well saying "be calm and understanding", but frankly I think even the most serene Zen Buddhist would be contemplating throwing themselves through the nearest window within 20 minutes of walking in the door. I have often got to the point of actually Googling nearby hotels so I can get some respite for an evening.

The worst thing about it is she doesn't ever seem to acknowledge it, even after the fact, and when she's in that mood - everything else comes second, and she thinks nothing of shouting at the top of her voice and slamming doors first thing in the morning for all the world (and our neighbors) to hear.

I'm sure most of you can relate!

[TordelBack]

"So drink of your pint, boys, and thank your shamrocks
That as menfolk we don't have to bleed from our cocks"

My missus gets the sharp end of my chronic depression nearly as often, so I'm in no place to complain about what all those hateful biochemicals do to the noggin.  It does seem like an unnecessarily shitty and largely intractable way to run a reproductive system for those involved, but as for the innocent bystander: that's what sheds are for.

[staticgirl]

Personally I have more sympathy with your Mrs, Radiator, knowing how awful it feels.

[Hawkmumbler]

Period pains? Pah! Try shaving every day! Get a cut under your nose and it's like trying to plug a hole in the ocean bed, that much liquid matter come's out!

[Definitely Not Mister Pops]

Period pains? Pah! Try shaving every day! Get a cut under your nose and it's like trying to plug a hole in the ocean bed, that much liquid matter come's out!

You're doing it wrong.

[Ancient Otter]

Some grim news for the male boarders: Men to blame for Menopause

[Richmond Clements]

Personally I have more sympathy with your Mrs, Radiator, knowing how awful it feels.

Indeed. Gotta say, Radiator, that's an astonishing lack of empathy you're showing to another human being in pain.

[Hawkmumbler]

Period pains? Pah! Try shaving every day! Get a cut under your nose and it's like trying to plug a hole in the ocean bed, that much liquid matter come's out!

You're doing it wrong.

Is it not the blunt end of the razor blade used? SAVAGES!

[JayzusB.Christ]

My first short story:  REJECTED. Clunky and repetitive in places, dodgy ending.  Ah well, at least my proof-reading mate loved it (and he wasn't just saying.  I hope.).