Show Us Yer Rubber, Creep!

[The Legendary Shark]

Has anybody done the stiffie joke?

[Jared Katooie]

Still haven't found the right gas mask yet.

Can you believe my mother thinks this is less important than looking for a house?!

[SmallBlueThing]

I'm an undertaker/Funeral Director.  I work alongside the police on occassion on behalf of the coroner.  Some of those we pick up are slightly less than fresh, hence the gas mask

Argh! You have my dream job! <seethes with jealousy> The amount of times I've very nearly thrown it all up into the air and gone into funeral direction! Both my wife and I, actually, are frustrated wannabee funeral directors. As I suspect are Jim and Ush of hereabouts.

The following are jokes:

I would be a rubbish funeral director though, because I would insist it being in 3D, and every corpse would be Helen Mirren, my actress of choice. And that would confuse the bereaved relatives.

Also, I'm absolutely terrified of zombies.

SBT

[Emperor]

Also, I'm absolutely terrified of zombies.

As a funeral director your job is to hammer a metal spike into the back of the deceased's head as part of the general corpse preparation procedure and they almost always get the body to you within the general window period before reanimation kicks in. Almost always. You could get the missus to do that if you aren't man enough I suppose...

[Withnail's liver]

I usually leave a battered copy of Max Brook's The Zombie Survival Handbook next to the Working Practices Manual when we have Work Experience people or new starters.  With a post note on it saying -"READ ME! if it happens this week this will save your life"

However - The MD won't let me put a chainsaw in a big glass cabinet with the words: INCASE OF OUTBREAK - SMASH GLASS printed on the front if it though...

[Withnail's liver]

I'm an undertaker/Funeral Director.  I work alongside the police on occassion on behalf of the coroner.  Some of those we pick up are slightly less than fresh, hence the gas mask

Argh! You have my dream job! <seethes with jealousy> The amount of times I've very nearly thrown it all up into the air and gone into funeral direction! Both my wife and I, actually, are frustrated wannabee funeral directors. As I suspect are Jim and Ush of hereabouts.

Pretty well what I did.  Used to be a Financial Advisor (which got me more awkward looks from people than when I tell them what I do now).

Since starting the job a few years ago I've never looked back (well apart from late at night and some of the "re-animants" are restless)

[Richmond Clements]

Groovy- you may be required for some research based questions from the writers on the board.

[Withnail's liver]

No problem.  I'd be happy to help

[The Doctor Alt 8]

But insist on being given 1/ credit for "exspert advice"
                          2/ Getting your mug / name check
Hell if I can do it...

[House of Usher]

Both my wife and I, actually, are frustrated wannabee funeral directors. As I suspect are Jim and Ush of hereabouts.

That's me alright: most squeamish wannabe funeral director in Wales.