Messages

>I think the 2000AD novels are a cool idea but only if >handled correctly. Can anyone remember the awful 100 >Fold Problem?

Never read it, but I know it's supposed to be the worst of the bunch, written by an SF author.  I'm told the problem was that the author didn't know or care a great deal about Dredd's world and turned in a story that was basically a straight SF idea with Dredd awkwardly shoe-horned into it.  

Which would be what any future novels would definitely have to avoid.  

>Or what about a novel that takes an event from 2Kad >and replays it through the eyes of various narrators, >a bit like the Star Wars "Tales from the Mos Eisley >Cantina"

That could be pretty cool.  I imagine you could do something like Tales of the Apocalypse War or Tales of Judgement Day, showing a range of stories (funny, poingnant, action-packed, plain weird, whatever) told from the point of view of various characters caught up in events of big Dredd epics like that.  2000AD is always best when it's a mixture of stuff, and a themed anthology book with contributions from different writers might catch that '2000AD in prose' feel the books should be going for.

You could also do other similar non-Dredd books themed anthology books.  Tales of Nu-Earth (Rogue Trooper), Welcome to the Doghouse (Strontium Dog), 2000AD Future War (Rogue, Bad Company, the VCs, Dante Tsar Wars, Glimmer Rats, hell even Fiends of the Eastern Front)

>I think the potential the novels have to expand on >the 2Kad universe is something that should be explored.

Definitely.

>Has anyone got anything interesting to voice other than your future shock is crap, oh no it isn't, oh yes it is, oh no it isn't, oh yes it is.....

Well, I did try to start one plonker-free discussion about 2000AD novels, and what prose-writing 2000AD contributors have done outside of 2000AD, but no-one seemed vey interested yet.

I know that the possibility of doing a line of 2000AD novels (but better than the old Dredd range that Virgin did in the mid 90s, yes?) is being vaguely kicked around, and was mentioned by Jason Kingsley at Dreddcon.

What 2000AD novels would people want to see, and should they try and get the relevant scriptdroids to do them (ie. a John Wagner Dredd novel) or should they bring in outside writers, as with the Virgin books?

>And as you are a writer; love to hear your ideas for >a Dredd screenplay.

>Oh but you haven't posted any here, have you.

>Let me hear your ideas.

The reason I haven't posted any ideas for a Dredd screenplay, you plonker, is because I'm a professional writer.

Professional writers don't give their ideas away on internet bulletin boards.  Ideas are the currency we make our living from.

If you had any iota of sense or understanding, you'd realise that.  

I've got loads of Dredd ideas.  And guess what?  Instead of giving them away free on the internet, I put 'em to good use.  Writing Dredd stories for 2000AD and the Megazine.

>Also, did you miss the part where I said 'Worse >stories have been published' is not a defence of a >substandard piece of work ...?

Agreed.  This "well, they publish that unoriginal poorly-plotted stuff, so why don't they publish *my* unoriginal poorly-plotted drivel?" line really is the mating call of the embittered loser and scriptdroid reject.

Some of the stuff scojo's mentioned hasn't exactly been 2000AD's finest hour, and you can go through any writer or artist's back catalogue and find a few stinkers.

However, I'm fairly sure that scojo couldn't come up with anything anywhere near being better than any of the stuff he's slagged off, certainly not on the basis of the evidence - his Helter Skelter idea, his screenplay opening, his two Future Shock scripts - that he's presented so far.  It's not the worst stuff I've seen (after all, there's been some real shockers posted to the scriptdroids group) but it's basically Just Not Very Good, and certainly not of a professional standard as yet, despite what scojo may claim.

So, scojo, if you're reading this, I really do recommend you join the Yahoo scriptdroids group.  Make an effort to be polite, don't go in there telling everyone how talented you are, because you'll get the same reaction that you get here and on the 2000AD newsgroup.

Post your two Future Shocks to the group, but not if the only reason you're doing so is because you want to be told just how great they are, as is evidently your motivation for doing so here.  They will get criticised, but hopefully constructively.  And, hopefully, you won't take criticism as a personal attack, as you seem to do here.  [Clue.  Your reaction to Barny's comments.  He was genuinely and reasonably trying to help you.]  I've seen many Future Shock scripts and ideas get torn apart on the group, but the best writers, the ones with talent and potential to make it in a tough freelance environment, take it on the chin and go away and use what they've learned to improve their work.

[For example, Simon Spurrier started out on scriptdroids, and is now selling stories to 2000AD and at least one other publisher, and good luck to him.]

The difference between him and you, scojo?  Or you and any professional writer I know?    Talent and ability aside, it's also a lot to do with people skills, and being able to take a few hard knocks, when an editor throws something back in your face.

Coming off, as you so often unfortunately do, as a ranting clueless loon, doesn't really engender much confidence in your likelihood of ever making any headway as a professional writer.

'Milo' (Eagle Award-nominated comics writer, 2 novels published, 1 screenplay sold, 1 TV treatment optioned)

>I thought Dan Abnett's Pulp Sci-Fi Star Wars parody >(Grunts) was pretty good.


I liked that one too, even if - as was pointed out at the time - it owed rather a lot to the short Star Wars parody movie 'Troops' which was all over the internet then.

The point is, though, that if you say something is a parody, then it really should be funny or amusing in some way.  Which scojo's story wasn't, IMHO.

Wow!  An Aliens parody!  You should send this in to the Nerve Centre straight away.  They're always looking for fresh, original material like this!

Do you have any other amusing and original ideas similar to this?  A hilarious Star Wars parody, perhaps?

I think John Smith's also written a few short stories for underground publishers like Creation, as has Grant Morrison.

Other 2000AD writers dipping their toes into thebig scary words-without-pictures thing?

Dan Abnett's written at least half a dozen Warhammer novels.

Gordon Rennie's written two.

Alan Grant wrote a novelisation of the Batman Knightfall saga.  He may have written something else too.

Um...

There's Alan Moore's literary novel, 'Voices of the Fire', of course.

David Bishop and David Stone both wrote a couple of the old Dredd novels, and have also written Dr Who novels.

I'm sure there's probably a few more I haven't thought of.  Anyone got any others?

>So I am leaving this board for good.

What, just like the two or three other times you've made this promise before, you plonker?

A couple of 2000AD writers have already written (non-2000AD) novels.

>scojo wishing he had never come back!

Then why don't you make good on your promise of yesterday and leave again?

I notice you've turned up at the 2000AD newsgroup now as well.  Strangely, no-one there seems to like you very much either after your first few posts.

How many people does it take to tell you that you're an arrogant, clueless, deluded idiot before you get the message?

Just read your script opening.

My god, man, just how *clueless* are you?

I don't think the modern-day New York prologue scene is at all necessary or any good, but the simply stunning thing about it is that, at this present moment in time, you think that anyone will seriously want to spend any more time reading a script for an escapist science fiction action movie that opens (pointlessly) with New York being nuked off the face of the earth.

I ask you again, just how clueless are you?  I mean, I thought I had the measure of your idiocy, but this takes your delusions about the worth of your abilities to a whole different level...

And didn't you say you were leaving about 12 hours and thirty increasingly grammar-free posts ago?

Scojo,

You really are a clueless plonker, aren't you?  

Everyone currently doing anything creative has had their non-successes and stinkers.  If you vetoed 2000AD writers or artists on the basis of having at least one non-successful/cancelled strip then no-one - no-one at all -would be working for the comic.  Certainly not John Wagner, Alan Grant or Pat Mills, who have all also had their fair share of stinkers.

But let's live on Planet Scojo for a moment, and apply your idiot logic to world outside of comics:

(Remember, folks, to play this game, you have to think of one flop someone has produced, and then claim that they should then never be allowed to work again.)

Steven Spielberg.  1941?  Always?  Empire of the Rising Sun?  Why does this talentless flop-merchant still have a career?

George Lucas.  Howard the Duck.  Labyrinth.  Need I go on?

Ridley Scott.  Legend.  White Squall.  Bladerunner.  (Major major flop, remember.)  As some idiot once said, "It proves that once you are in the club you are set up for life."

So why don't you get to the real point you're trying to make, scojo, which is blatantly this:

"Bah, why don't they hire me instead of these people.  'Cos I've written four screenplays and I'm really talented, despite all the evidence to the contrary which I keep foolishly posting here."

But I think you may be right, scojo.  I think there probably is a conspiracy at 2000AD.  A conpiriracy to thankfully keep clueless plonkers from working on the comic.

Don't forget the vital plot point revolving around the details of random cell division.  That'll have 'em glued to their cinema seats.

I'd agree about getting away from the whole cloning/DNA thing.  After all, the Stallone movie revolved heavily around clones and cloning, and we all know how that worked out, right?

>I believe I can write a screenplay as good (or nearly >as good!) as John Wagner.

>Hand on heart I do.

>A screenplay is a different beast to a comic script >you must understand.

Having been paid to write both kinds of scripts, I do indeed understand this.  But hey, I'm always glad to pick up an few tips from another writer.

>John is a comic writer. I am a screenwriter.

I've been reading John's comics work for more than 25 years now.  That's how he makes his living, and that's how I know he's a comics writer.

I don't know what it is you do for a living, scojo, but I'll tell you that when you really do make your living as a writer or anything similar, there's nothing you get sick of quicker than people telling you, "oh, I'm a bit of a writer too.  Yes, I've written four screenplays/got an unpublished novel in a box under my bed/write poetry for the local parish newsletter."

Simply put: the world is full of people who say they're writers of some sort or another, but the only proof is in getting your work accepted, commissioned, published, filmed or whatever.  When that happens, you're a writer; until then, you're just someone who's written a bunch of unseen screenplays and LA is full of waiters and barmen who can make the same claim.

>If Rebellion agree to read my screenplay I would >write one. If it is no good I will accept that.

Being a screenwriter, you'd probably already know that they're unlikely to look at any unsolicited scripts for a project already now in development, if only to legally protect themselves further down the line.  The best way to pitch for the gig nmight be to get your agent (real screenwriters have agents, right?) to make a formal pitch-approach to the production company rather than Rebellion.

> I would love to write a Dredd screenplay.

>hand on heart, I would write a treatment if Rebellion >were interested.
>Email me.

>I have written four screenplays thus far, got the >writing software, know the format.

Blimey, well why didn't you say so earlier!  There's no justice if you don't get the gig.  Incidentally, I have seen a couple of football matches on TV and I've got the right software (ie. Champ Manager on my PC) and yet those fools at the FA turned down my application for the England job.

But wait, didn't the mighty scohjo say this earlier on today:  "If John Wagner hasn't written the original screenplay, regardless of rewrites by other writers, the film will not work."

So, basically, the only people who could write the Dredd movie are you or John Wagner?

Maybe he doesn't have the right software, though... would leave you the only one left in the running!