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Judge Dredd - Flowers

Started by The Legendary Shark, 07 June, 2023, 08:15:11 PM

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The Legendary Shark

Judge Dredd
Flowers
~~~^~~~





PAGE ONE (5F)(TITLES).


PAGE ONE, FRAME ONE:

MC1. The aftermath of a firefight with a mutie gang. The muties, six or seven of them, are all dead except one, who is dying. Dredd, bullet wounds in his leg, flank and arm, is struggling to get up, using his Lawmaster for support.

DREDD:     Nnh... Dredd to Control; scratch that raiding party. Meat wagon to Mises and Rothbard.

CONTROL (JAG): Roger that. Do you require med-assist?

DREDD:     Negative. Nn... I'll ride to Sec-Ho...





PAGE ONE, FRAME TWO:

Med Judge Anjo enters the scene, giving Dredd only a cursory glance and tossing him three med-packs while she heads for a dying mutie to render aid.

ANJO: Oh stop whining. You'll be fine.

DREDD: Whining?

ANJO: One still alive here, Control.





PAGE ONE, FRAME THREE:

Anjo scans the dying mutie with a medical scanner.

ANJO: Easy there, handsome. I'm a med judge, I'm not going to hurt you, okay?

ANJO: Unfortunately, though...





PAGE ONE, FRAME FOUR:

The mutant will not survive. Anjo has found something important in the data on her scanner. (In the background, Dredd is applying the med-packs to his wounds.)

ANJO: Holy drokk...

ANJO: Where do you come from?

MUTIE: Whu... what? Help... Help me... Please...

ANJO: I can't, you're too far gone. Answer me, quickly, and I promise you'll be you buried – not sent to Resyk.






PAGE ONE, FRAME FIVE:

Anjo questions the mutant, who answers as he expires in her arms.

MUTIE (DYING): Th... thank you. I'm... hnnh... from... Radiacja... out by... by... Weaver's C... annhhh...*

DREDD (OFF): What the drokk? Are you out of your mind? Have him buried?






#####





PAGE TWO (6F).


PAGE TWO, FRAME ONE:

Anjo calls in her find, simultaneously pointing at Dredd, who has finished applying the med-packs and is preparing to mount his Lawmaster.

ANJO: I lied.

ANJO: Anjo to control, i've got something. Flash it to Med-Department immediately. Priority Green Two.

CONTROL (JAG): Roger that. Stand by.





PAGE TWO, FRAME TWO:

Anjo adjusts the dials on Dredd's med-packs. Dredd is an impatient patient.

ANJO: Why do you street judges never read the damned instructions?

ANJO: Wounds like this heal better at seven – takes an extra minute at most and doesn't leave a scar.





PAGE TWO, FRAME THREE:

Anjo receives her orders from control and, already walking away from Dredd to her Medmaster bike, motions Dredd (who is not happy) to follow.

CONTROL (JAG):     Control; data verified. You have a Go for retrieval, depart immediately, Priority Triple Red, over.

ANJO: Understood. Anjo out.

ANJO (JOIN): Dredd, you're with me.





PAGE TWO, FRAME FOUR:

As Anjo rides away, Dredd turns the dials on his med-packs back up to level 10 (MAX) as he calls control.

DREDD:     I'm with...? Hhhrrrrh.

DREDD:     Control, what the Hell's going on?

CONTROL (JAG): You are ordered to render Med Judge Anjo any and all assistance – Priority One command.





PAGE TWO, FRAME FIVE:

Unhappy with his orders, Dredd rides off after Anjo.

DREDD: Understood, Control. What's this about?

CONTROL (JAG):     Sorry, Dredd, Med-Div eyes only. You'll have to ask judge Anjo, this is her show. Control out.

DREDD: Hmph.





PAGE TWO, FRAME SIX:

Dredd and Anjo approach one of the City Wall gates, where a group of five more Lawmaster mounted street judges have just assembled in readiness.

ANJO: Come on, Dredd, keep up. No time for idling.

DREDD: Idling? Damn it, Anjo...

ANJO (JOIN): And this is a Medical-Division operation, understand? While it lasts, you address me as Sir, Ma'am, or Judge.





#####





PAGE THREE (6F).


PAGE THREE, FRAME ONE:

As they ride out of the city into the Cursed Earth, Dredd, pulling alongside Anjo, demands to know what's going on.

DREDD: Okay, Ma'am, what the Hell is this?

ANJO: That mutie had pollen in his system from Boletus Necare. We've been searching for a viable cloning source for years.

DREDD: Anjo, I swear to Grud...





PAGE THREE, FRAME TWO:

Dredd is far from happy at the answer he gets from Anjo.

ANJO: It's a kind of flower. Now come on, let's shake it!

DREDD: A... flower...?





PAGE THREE, FRAME THREE:

Six days later, the group of judges, now looking a little the worse for wear, arrive at the neck of a canyon. A crude hand-written sign calls the place "WEAVER'S CANYON. POP - 0 (COSS ITS A CANYON, DUMMY)"

CAP: Six days and nights' hard riding later...


ANJO: Readings are spiking, Dredd. We're definitely close.

DREDD: Anjo, wait! That canyon's a perfect ambush point!





PAGE THREE, FRAME FOUR:

Anjo doesn't stop, despite Dredd's warning, and hurtles into the canyon.

ANJO:              So, keep me covered. It's what you're here for, isn't it?

DREDD:     Grud damn it!

DREDD (JOIN): You heard him! Form up and stay sharp!





PAGE THREE, FRAME FIVE:

Muties begin firing on the judges from the canyon tops. The judges all fire back, except Anjo – who is too intent on her goal to even draw her weapon.

SFX: VARIOUS WEAPON SOUNDS, AS REQUIRED.





PAGE THREE, FRAME SIX:

Anjo rides on, ignoring the firefight going on all around, protected by Dredd and the other judges.

ANJO: Nearly there! Come on, men, we're close! I can smell it!





#####





PAGE FOUR (6F).


PAGE FOUR, FRAME ONE:

At the far end of the canyon, Anjo has stopped her bike and is scanning towards a low hill in the middle distance. Dredd and the rest, some injured, are speeding to catch up. Dredd is very angry but quite controlled.

DREDD: Okay, Anjo, I've had enough of this!

ANJO: You and me both, Dredd – and didn't I order you to address me as 'sir'?





PAGE FOUR, FRAME TWO:

Dredd is chewing Anjo out but Anjo isn't listening. She's pointing towards the low hill.

DREDD: I'll address you any Grud-damn way I please, Anjo. You're reckless and you're putting us all in unnecessary danger. I don't care what...

ANJO: Your concerns are noted, Judge Dredd.

ANJO (SHORT JOIN): That way.





PAGE FOUR, FRAME THREE:

Leaving a thoroughly grumpy Dredd in his dust as the other judges arrive, Anjo speeds off towards the hill.

DREDD:         Hn.

JUDGE:         Jovus – is this gal an asshat or what? Makes me feel like a damned cadet again...

DREDD:         Stow it. Asshat or not, she's the judge in charge here – and you're on one for insubordination.

DREDD (JOIN, SMALL):     Damn it.





PAGE FOUR, FRAME FOUR:

Anjo has parked her Medmaster at the top of the hill and dismounted, carrying several empty sample cases, as Dredd roars up in a cool mood.

ANJO: We've found it! My Grud, Dredd, look at it!

ANJO: It's... Beautiful!





PAGE FOUR, FRAME FIVE:

The plain at the bottom of the hill is carpeted with countless beautiful flowers (a bit like daffodils). Anjo is handing Dredd a sample box but Dredd is not going to be picking any drokking flowers!

ANJO: Here, help me.

DREDD: Oh no, Anjo. Not a chance.

DREDD (JOIN): You pick – I'll keep watch. That's what I'm here for, right?





PAGE FOUR, FRAME SIX:

As Anjo fills her sample boxes, Dredd spots a mutie raiding party roaring towards them in the distance.

ANJO: Suit yourself. You know what these are, Dredd? A cure! A cure for stage three Grubb's, fungetigo, Mush-Face Syndrome and Grud knows what else!

DREDD: Best hurry it along – we're about to have company.

ANJO: These beauties will save tens of thousands of lives!





#####





PAGE FIVE (6F).


PAGE FIVE, FRAME ONE:

The sample boxes full, Anjo places them all in Dredd's care.

ANJO: Here. Get these to safety.

DREDD: Anjo...







PAGE FIVE, FRAME TWO:

Anjo gives Dredd his orders. Dredd doesn't like it but, technically, this is Anjo's show and he has no choice.

ANJO: No questions, Dredd. I've done my part, now you do yours!

ANJO: You're better equipped to get this lot back to the city than I'll ever be. I'll hold 'em off – you go!

DREDD: Grud-damn it, Anjo, I will not...





PAGE FIVE, FRAME THREE:

Anjo rides off, Lawgiver finally in hand, to confront the mutie raiders, leaving Dredd and the other judges to take the precious boxes back through the canyon to Mega City One.

ANJO: You will follow your orders, Judge Dredd!

ANJO (JOIN): Now get the Hell out of here before I put you on a charge!





PAGE FIVE, FRAME FOUR:

Dredd and the other Judges hurtle through the canyon again, taking fire and firing back, again - but this time with more success.

SFX: VARIOUS WEAPON SOUNDS, AS REQUIRED.





PAGE FIVE, FRAME FIVE:

Back at the canyon entrance, safe again, Dredd passes the sample boxes he's carrying to another judge and orders the group to keep going.

DREDD: Here, take these. Stop for nothing, clear?

JUDGE: What about you?






PAGE FIVE, FRAME SIX:

Dredd rides back towards the Canyon, leaving the others to make their own way back to the city.

DREDD: I have a... Judge to recover.





#####





PAGE SIX (5F).


PAGE SIX, FRAME ONE:

Back in the city, some time later. Dredd, mostly out of uniform, wearing several med-packs and a scowl, carries something we can't yet see through a brightly sunlit and busy Med-Division hospital.

CAP: Six more days and nights' hard riding later...





PAGE SIX, FRAME TWO:

Deeper inside the hospital, Dredd, still carrying something we can't see, enquires where Anjo is. The nurse on the reception desk is startled at what Dredd is carrying.

DREDD: Med Judge Anjo?

NURSE: I.C.U. Suite One-Four-Six. Third Level...

NURSE (JOIN): Oh my...





PAGE SIX, FRAME THREE:

Dredd walks down a corridor towards Anjo's room. Everyone who sees what he's carrying is as startled as the nurse on the reception desk was.





PAGE SIX, FRAME FOUR:

Dredd enters Anjo's room. Anjo is unconscious, extensively wounded and hooked up to all kinds of healing devices. Dredd is carrying a bunch of flowers – the type retrieved from the Cursed Earth.

DREDD: Don't know if you can hear me Anj... Ma'am, but Med-Div says these... flowers of yours are the real deal.





PAGE SIX, FRAME FIVE:

A vase by Anjo's unconscious form now contains the flowers. They've been stuffed into the vase rather roughly. A card attached reads, in Dredd's no-nonsense handwriting: MISSION A SUCCESS. REGARDS, DREDD.

DREDD (OFF): Just stopped by to say...

DREDD (OFF, JOIN):     Hmph.

DREDD (OFF, JOIN):     Good job, Judge Anjo.


STRAP: THE END.
[move]~~~^~~~~~~~[/move]




JohnW

Give me pictures, Shark!
Yeah, sure – you set a scene well enough for me to visualise it, but I'm here to be entertained, damn it, and that means pictures.
Find some talented dweeb, dazzle him with promises of fame and back-end payment, and tell him you're offering him free exposure.

Minor niggle: 'On a charge' is Britspeak. 'On report' would be closer to Murcan English, I think.

Assorted other niggles: Not buying the whole Follow me – there's no time to explain! and six whole days later there evidently still hasn't been time to explain.
And not really buying the whole sir-ma'am upended-chain-of-command palaver either. The way I've always seen it, judges are all (officially) (sort-of) equals, with Dredd being first among equals. Subordinating him like that to a random Med just doesn't ring true.

These could be fixed without altering the structure or pace of the story.

This has been The Critique You Didn't Ask For, offered by someone who has never written a comic script in his life.
Why can't everybody just, y'know, be friends and everything? ... and uh ... And love each other!

The Legendary Shark


Thanks, John - always nice to get feedback.

I guess if I'm any good, artists might want to have a go at this for personal practice. Put something forward for the many and various experts hereabouts to cast a weather eye over, perhaps, just one small step on the long road to Ezquerradom.

Dredd actually says, "...and you're on one for insubordination," - which is probably even less Murcan. I'm now imagining Jason Statham as a Cockney Dredd, which is definitely worse.

I kinda' wanted to put Dredd in a subordinate position to see how he'd react, under the command of his almost exact opposite. I see Anjo as being just as much a hard-ass as Dredd, and just as big a pain in the ass as Dredd when it comes to doing the right, or at least the necessary thing. And yeah, the time period is a bit long - then again, why go on Lawmasters and not in an H-Wagon? There's a longer story in here, struggling to get out, about Dredd maybe struggling against his very first romantic instincts...

But you're right, I don't think it quite works - which makes it wonderful practice for aspiring artists! Take this ham-fisted script (or any of my other ham-fisted scripts posted hereabouts) and see if you can make it look good!

[move]~~~^~~~~~~~[/move]




JohnW

Think of the visual contrasts presented on page 4 – flowers blooming in a hellish wasteland.
The judges come roaring into the canyon, lonely as a cloud, and then there's the gunfight amid a host of golden daffodils.
Who needs the Lake District? A half-way decent artist would turn you into the Cursed Earth Wordsworth.
Why can't everybody just, y'know, be friends and everything? ... and uh ... And love each other!

The Legendary Shark

[move]~~~^~~~~~~~[/move]