The Black Dog Thread

[paddykafka]

Morning Paddy, I don't envy you this all sounds incredibly stressful. At least it sounds like you've got things under control. Keep the chin up!

Thanks, Rara.

I at least managed to solve the problem with regard to my new and unwanted flat-mate. I bought one of those humane mouse-traps yesterday and set it last night. At silly'o clock this morning, I was woken up by the sound of the mouse going bonkers in the trap. So off I trudged out of the house and, at a reasonable distance away, I released the little git into the wild whilst humming to the tune of "Born Free". 

[Tjm86]

I know this is pretty pathetic compared to Paddy's trials right now but had a nasty run in with someone delivering charity clothing collection bags this afternoon and it has set me off something chronic.  He handed the bag to me on the drive, since I didn't want it I just dumped it in the bin. 

Maybe not the most diplomatic of actions but his response was incredibly disturbing.  After asking why I did that he proceeded to swear and threaten to physically assault me.  So now left with the unsettling thought that there is some lunatic wondering around, knowing exactly where I live and a disturbingly violent streak.

What a wonderful end to a day ... <scared out of his skull emoji>

[paddykafka]

What a wonderful end to a day ... <scared out of his skull emoji>

Not pathetic at all, mate. If that creep is working for a bonafide charity - as opposed to some of they bogey ones that go around - then there should be a contact number on the bag. In which case you should call them ASAP and report him. It might soften his cough and make him think twice about any ill-intentions he could harbour towards you. Might be worth giving the cops a buzz as well. Hope you'll be okay anyway. All the best and take care.

[Tjm86]

Thanks.  Just to cap it all off I was told by my employer that I am "at risk of redundancy" as the company seeks savings to ride out its current problems.  My job is being eliminated and at present there are no other vacancies available (given the size of the company that is hardly surprising).

 

[paddykafka]

Just when I thought that I had solved my rodent issue, tonight I saw TWO of the little bastards scurrying around, brazen as you like, with not a care in the world. So my flat is now officially infested! I've sent the landlord an email to let him know what the problem is, and I'm hoping that he'll have pest control out tomorrow. To say that I am fucking freaking out right now is an understatement. I can hear them scampering around behind the fridge and furniture as I type this out. When is this awful nightmare I am currently going through ever going to end?!

[Tjm86]

Okay so this probably comes under the heading of "first world issues" so please feel free to be as honest as possible.  Coping with a mother-in-law with stage-1 cancer (potentially minor and to be fair to NHS Wales who are allegedly utterly incompetent, caught early and treated early but obviously troubling for wife), a "risk of redundancy" situation (which means I need to be looking for a new job but hey-ho) and a daughter facing bullying issues at school that might possibly be a fraction of my own experience but at the same time there is no way in hell I'm willing to accept any child of mine experiencing anything even remotely similar.

[Rara Avis]

First world or not that sounds like a hell of a stressful situation. Please remember that this thread is not a competition for who is in the worst situation. Compassion and empathy can still be shown to two people in two entirely different situations. Even if you think that other people have it worse than you; you're still allowed to feel helpless, overwhelmed, sad, stressed out and you don't need to quantify or qualify those feelings.

A first world issue would be that the bluetooth is not working in my Bugatti or my new range rover won't fit in the garage so this is as far from a first world problem as I can imagine.

Keep us posted on the situation; we're all rooting for you and the family.

[Barrington Boots]

Rara talks a huge amount of sense on this thread.

Sounds like you have a lot of pressure right now Tjm. Please keep us updated. We might not be able to help, but we can listen and support.
Same for you Paddy. Very dark times. I'd love to say something more helpful, but it would sound trite. Much love out to you.

[paddykafka]

Rara talks a huge amount of sense on this thread.

Sounds like you have a lot of pressure right now Tjm. Please keep us updated. We might not be able to help, but we can listen and support.
Same for you Paddy. Very dark times. I'd love to say something more helpful, but it would sound trite. Much love out to you.

Thanks for your kind words and support, Barrington. They are much appreciated.

And to TJM86, I hope that things will get better for yourself and your family in the near future.

[Rara Avis]

Rara talks a huge amount of sense on this thread.

/quote]

Are my posts on other threads nonsense? 

[Tjm86]

Thanks folks.  I think this is about the only place I feel like I can 'vent' without being judged.  Then again I guess we are a little sensitive to the dangers of letting things get out of control.

At the moment I'm just taking things one day at a time.  MIL's treatment seems to be going okay.  The next stage is probably going to be the worst for her, grafting skin from her forehead across her nose and then waiting for the graft to take.  All I can do for her and my wife is accompany her to appointments and talk nonsense to keep her mind occupied.

Waiting on panel for daughter to move school.  Not that we don't trust the current school, just that when these things start they take on a life of their own.  More importantly though, quite a few of her friends from primary go there.  So actually, it is more of a positive move to be closer (eldest off to Uni this year so actually a good time) and to have a stronger support network.

Keeping up with the job searching.  Sometimes it seems a bit pointless but hacking away at it.  Determined not to let the past defeat me even though there seem to be more days when it is winning than not.

As for you Paddy, I'm hoping that your situation works itself out for the better.  The way landlords operate is reprehensible at the best of times and it seems like you've got an utter bar-steward there.  Wish there was something more we could offer than just empathy and words.   

[Jade Falcon]

Still at Teleperformance, still hating it.  The irregular work pattern gets to me.  One week I've been starting 7 or 8 in the morning.  I like to leave at least an hour early to account for traffic.  Other times it's 10:30, next week its 12:30, so I'm not getting a great work pattern, my sleep is suffering and I'm finding it hard to stay awake at work.

I was on Co-Codomol for 30 years, apparently a mistake by the doctors as its meant to be a short term thing and I was getting weaned onto regular paracetomol.  My headaches are flaring up again, sitting in front of a twin monitor setup.  I just can't get on with the job, it only takes one confrontational phone call to set me off, and when some git calls you a "fucking idiot" for obeying bank practices, or hassles you for other stuff.

Add to that, we had one power mad little shit supervising one day, harassing people if they were in Work ready for a few seconds.  I had to take Epilim and he was on my case.  I was told that was what my free time was for.  There have been a number of occasions I just want to walk out the door in disgust.  I fear my depression is coming back in spades.

A workmate said it didn't bother him starting early, but he literally lives 10 minutes away.  I've also found out that there are only 2 of us left from our original intake and there's no wonder there's such a high turnaround.

[JayzusB.Christ]

I had to take Epilim and he was on my case.  I was told that was what my free time was for.]

While I don't have the full details, that sounds like an offence (on his part) that his superiors might take very seriously.  I would imagine telling someone they can't take essential medication would be against most company's rules, if not downright illegal.

I've worked in a call centre too, and also had a nasty little-Hitler type as a supervisor.  It's generally a promotion that does not require any special skills or qualifications, just longevity within the call centre, and it's a magnet for bullies looking to abuse the tiny morsel of power that they think they have. While I found it very difficult to go against my default passive, conflict-avoiding nature, I found that stating my rights completely changed my supervisor's attitude towards me.

Not saying it'll work that way for you, but it sounds like you have the option of reporting him too.

[paddykafka]

So things have just taken a decided turn for the weird, as regards to my ongoing struggles with the New Landlord (NL).

To briefly recap previous events.

When the original landlord informed me that the property was being sold, as I am on Rent Supplement from the Department of Social Protection (DSP), I specifically asked him if I needed to reapply for it, but was told no, I didn't have to worry about that. It would be sorted out between him and the N/L.

Fast forward seven weeks or so, to when the N/L asked me for contact details for the Rents Unit in the DSP. I asked him if he wanted to make contact with them myself, but he said no, he would organize that himself. He also took on the responsibility to order the application forms for the Rent Supplement, and to return the completed ones himself, as he was scanning them through by email.

When I was giving him my completed form as the tenant - along with the supporting documents that I had to provide, like proof of social welfare payments, proof of address, bank statements etc - I pointed out to him that the Rents Unit would need proof of tenancy, like a Tenancy Agreement and also proof of payment, as in bank statements showing payment to him or a rent book. He said that he would sort that out.

Around the second week of January, I received a letter from the DSP, saying that they had received the application and would get back to me in due course. As I mentioned in a previous post here, they subsequently rejected the application because, hey-ho, it did not include the documents which would show proof of tenancy and payment - the very documents which the NL had said he would organize!

So on the advice of the chap in Citizen's Information (CI) - , the N/L agreed to provide a Tenancy Agreement, which he duly did in a few days, and I ordered bank statements which would show my weekly contribution to the rent being paid out of my account. The most concerning thing I found in the TA was that the N/L was looking for a deposit that was five times in excess of that which I paid to the former landlord. As the N/L had already received that deposit from the former landlord - and by law cannot ask for more than a months rent as a deposit - the TA as it then stood would not pass muster with the Rents Unit. (And I was damned if I was going to put myself in hock for that amount to the N/L!)

Additionally, because my bank statements did not show who my weekly deduction was going to - and again on the advice of CI - I phoned the N/L and asked if he could fill in a Rent Book - which I bought myself - that would show proof of payments to him, and thus satisfy the requirements of the Rents Unit. He went absolutely ballistic! "This is going on too long! When am I getting my rent?! My mortgage is paying your rent!" I explained why the rent book was needed and asked if he could call by to fill it in. "I'm away this week. Fill it in yourself!" I pointed out that, as the landlord, he would need to sign beside the payments. "Sign them yourself! I don't give a fuck anymore! I just want me rent!"

Now as I have no experience as a landlord - and thus no idea what the requirements are when it comes to completing a rent book - I again sought advice from CI. Due to various delays - the CI officer's limited availability, the fact that he was also busy with other clients, and also because my earlier queries to him went unread into his spam folder - it was last Friday before the CI officer could fully clarify - in the form of an emailed letter to me - what needed to be changed in the TA, how I needed to fill in the rent book correctly, and the reason why it had to be the NL who signed off on the payments.

I promptly completed the rent book in as much as I could and forwarded a scanned copy of it to the NL, along with an explanation of what needed to be done and why. And in a separate email, I forwarded on the letter from CI to him, which demonstrated why the changes were needed and as proof of my efforts to ensure that the documents would meet the requirements of the Rents Unit in the DSP.

This morning I saw the N/L as he was at the house and asked if he had received the emails I sent him. He said that he had but did not understand what they were about. (It was pretty bloody clear and blindingly obvious what they were about!) On the off-chance that he had not gotten them, I had printed out the emails and attached documents, all of which I handed to him. He looked at me and the pages with other contempt and disdain, as though I had just handed him a pair of soiled jocks. "What's all this? I'm not reading through these. I'm just bored with all this now. You're going in June, aren't you? I think I'm just going to leave it now."

He then folded the pages in half and just walked away.

I wouldn't mind, but I have been sweating buckets for the last two weeks. I have been an absolute nervous wreck on account of all the stress this has been causing me. And the N/L did not show so much as a smidgen of gratitude or appreciation for the efforts which I had made on his behalf. After months of hassle and aggravation from him - without the slightest acknowledgement that he was to blame for the delay in getting the back rent - he has decided that he is not going to bother looking for the money anymore. He really is utterly impossible to deal with!

So now I'm going to focus all my efforts on finding somewhere else to live - no mean feat, given how things are currently in the rental market - and getting as far from that man as I can. To take a leaf out of his book, I don't give a fuck anymore, either.

[sheridan]

I had to take Epilim and he was on my case.  I was told that was what my free time was for.]

While I don't have the full details, that sounds like an offence (on his part) that his superiors might take very seriously.  I would imagine telling someone they can't take essential medication would be against most company's rules, if not downright illegal.

Certainly sounds like a case can be made on equality legislation grounds (whatever the local variant is).

I've worked in a call centre too, and also had a nasty little-Hitler type as a supervisor.  It's generally a promotion that does not require any special skills or qualifications, just longevity within the call centre, and it's a magnet for bullies looking to abuse the tiny morsel of power that they think they have.

When I was working in call centres it was heavily hinted to me that I might be promoted to supervisor if I stayed there.  I'd been there for less than a month at that point.  Longevity was the main factor and it didn't even need to be that long.