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Started by Proudhuff, 11 June, 2012, 02:32:01 PM

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Definitely Not Mister Pops

This raises many questions.

First off, since when have Scots been stereotyped as having a sex life involving otter cocks?

Secondly, what were they trying to learn when they embarked on a long term record of the length of otter cocks? Or did they just decide to measure every bit on the otters over several generations to see what sort of interesting graphs they could cobble together?

Thirdly, why should this be so? Is there an advantage to having a small cock (if you're an otter) that is favoured by national selection?

Finally, could the otter's penis disappear completely in the future?
You may quote me on that.

Spikes

Is it often cold in Scotland?

Frank

Quote from: El Pops on 25 February, 2013, 09:18:58 PM
This raises many questions. First off, since when have Scots been stereotyped as having a sex life involving otter cocks?

Secondly, what were they trying to learn when they embarked on a long term record of the length of otter cocks? Or did they just decide to measure every bit on the otters over several generations to see what sort of interesting graphs they could cobble together?

Thirdly, why should this be so? Is there an advantage to having a small cock (if you're an otter) that is favoured by national selection? Finally, could the otter's penis disappear completely in the future?

I think they might just have interviewed the girlfriends of otters. This anecdotal approach is fraught with difficulty, since I find that girls' estimation of the size and satisfactoriness of one's cock varies quite markedly according to whether one is still going out with them or not.


Goaty

"We Saw Your Boobs" song is very catchy...

Bubba Zebill

Quote from: sauchie on 25 February, 2013, 09:07:22 PM
According to today's Daily Record, otter penises are getting smaller. The report states that this will have dire consequences for the sex life of all Scots.

That's a typo, Sauchie, they mean 'other penises', so nothing to worry about.
Judge Dredd : The Dark (Gamebook)
http://tinmangames.com.au/blog/?p=3105

darnmarr


Bubba Zebill

Judge Dredd : The Dark (Gamebook)
http://tinmangames.com.au/blog/?p=3105

vzzbux

Drokking since 1972

Peace is a lie, there's only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.

vzzbux

Bring back the Natural purple carrot instead of the genetically modified orange trash we are used to.





V
Drokking since 1972

Peace is a lie, there's only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.

Tombo

I went to a trade show years ago when I was a landscape gardener and there was a stand there with a group of people from the Netherlands selling seeds and seedlings of loads of different old world strains of carrots in all sorts of colours, most of which had been extinct in Britain for centuries. They said they could hardly keep up with the orders from smallholders and garden centres, I guess the big super markets were too scared to invest in something so "weird".

darnmarr


A Cockatoo & Caribou,
both knew their bills were overdue,
The gas, the 'lectric, broadband too,
and as they owed a bob or two,
and knew the inland revenue,
would take what wealth they might accrue.

They cried into the night "Fcuk You!"
And caring not, who might pursue,
They bid the world they knew 'adieu'
and headed for a rendevous,
They'd made with Dave, a kangaroo,
who met them on the Avenue,
and who; ( were you to ask him to,)
Could get you 'stuff'; pre-owned or new,
like shoes, or trews, a used Kazoo
with none of your hulabaloo.
(For Dave respected no taboo,
and he had 'contacts' at the Zoo)

Dave brought them to a fine canoe,
he'd made with bamboo shoots and glue.
"This boat, I think, should do for you,
-It's brand-new and it fits just two"
said Dave, ... "Thank's Dave: Merci Boucoup"
They both replied, and then set-to,

and so without further ado...

The Caribou and Cockatoo,
sailed out upon the ocean blue,
they rowed and rowed and rowed anew
in search of their own Xanadu.

With much to eat, but naught to do.
The Caribou just grew and grew,
Soon Caribu wore a Mumuu.
and even that, he soon outgrew.
(The Menu WAS chocolate fondue).

Their plans were, soon to go, askew,
For who should come upon them, who?
But pirates! Yes! a scrurvy crew!
A Captain and his retinue,
This was indeed some "how d'ye do"

"Avast ye swabs!" said Pirate Hugh
the Captain who has hitherto,
remained un-named (but that's now through,
his name was Hugh, it's true: who knew?)
" I know what we shall do with you!
We'll chop your muscle and sinew
and make a tasty Barbecue!
and when there's nothing left to chew,
We'll keep the bones and residue
& make a stock , to imbue Stew,
with flavour," "Sir, I must poo-poo
suggestions of this nature, who,
would contemplate such action, who?"
said Caribou, but Captain Hugh,
proved not so easy to subdue:

"I'll hear none of that guff from you!-
I'll boil you down into a goo,
and sell you as a cure for flu'
or as a new type of Shampoo!"

"What both of us?" cried Caribou.
"Why no!" said Hugh "I mean just you!
I made a deal with Cockatoo."

It's shocking to relate but true

and at that moment off she flew,
with all the money they'd withdrew.

So just in case you misconstrue,
The moral of this brief revue,

I'll spell it out right here for you:

A bird might hang around when the money's gone, but I wouldn't rely on it.

Richmond Clements

Quote from: vzzbux on 26 February, 2013, 10:23:14 PM





V

Cross-bar 'I' = fail.

Wait here, and Mr J Campbell will be along shortly to berate you.

Bubba Zebill

I finally figured it out...that kiss at the end, between Stallone and 'Hershey'...it's actually the film Cal was casting about Dredd....that explains everything.
Judge Dredd : The Dark (Gamebook)
http://tinmangames.com.au/blog/?p=3105

Frank

Quote from: vzzbux on 27 February, 2013, 07:40:48 PM
Bring back the Natural purple carrot instead of the genetically modified orange trash we are used to.

It was the Dutch who interbred the carrot to emphasise the orange pigment, for religious and political reasons. Following the reformation, Protestants have made much of the weirder aspects of the behaviour and beliefs encouraged by the Catholic church. As far as I know though, the Pope has never attempted to use root vegetables as an instrument of propaganda.


darnmarr

I shudder to think what the Catholic hierarchy might use a root vegetable as an instrument for...