Messages

1

Off Topic / Re: Threadjacking!

« on: 19 January, 2023, 12:41:10 AM »

Just imagine what would happen if you decided to switch to decaff coffee? Lots of strung-out sparrows is just too horrible to contemplate. Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" would be in the halfpenny place, mate.

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Off Topic / Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments

« on: 18 January, 2023, 01:37:58 PM »

Wishing you the best, Sharky and hope that all works out well for ye.

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Off Topic / Re: The Black Dog Thread

« on: 15 January, 2023, 05:36:26 PM »

I guess we're all in the same boat to varying degrees so deep breath and one day at a time and one thing at a time.

Sorry to hear that you're having a bad time of it, Rara. Hope that things improve for you in the near future.

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Off Topic / Re: The Black Dog Thread

« on: 07 January, 2023, 01:02:47 PM »

Thanks, Jayzus and much appreciated, as always.

To give an idea of how truly bad things are, two of the other tenants here - both of whom are working and in receipt of Housing Assistance Payment - have checked out, respectively, over 60 and 50 adverts for rented accommodation. Neither of them has received so much as a single, solitary reply back. Like, not even the chance of viewing a bloody place.

What chance does a bloke like me, on Invalidity Pension, possibly have in this scenario?

To say that I feel constantly anxious and depressed as regards to my future, is an understatement.

https://www.thejournal.ie/homelessness-ireland-4-5962540-Jan2023/

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Film & TV / Re: THEM! To Get Remake.

« on: 05 January, 2023, 04:12:24 PM »

No - because their exoskeletons wouldn't be strong enough to support their own weight, let alone allow them to move. Damn that pesky science, ruining all those great ideas!

So, Giant Ant-sized Zimmer Frames are not a viable solution, then? Ah well...so long as neither the director, writers and producers get wind of this particular thread, the reboot will probably still go ahead as planned. 

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Film & TV / Re: THEM! To Get Remake.

« on: 05 January, 2023, 01:35:16 PM »

I seem to recall reading somewhere, that scientifically speaking, the giant ants in Them would not actually be able to breathe properly due to their large size. If that is true, then will the critters in this remake be going around with Oxygen tanks strapped to their backs? 

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Off Topic / Re: The Black Dog Thread

« on: 03 January, 2023, 06:50:04 PM »

How is everyone after Xmas and NY?

The day after St Stephen's Day, the new landlord had people lining up outside the house, to view the newly refurbished basement "Studio" flat and similarly refurbished "Studio" upstairs. (In actuality, they are small, self-contained, one-roomed bedsits with a small separate bathroom. The rental asking price for each - as advertised online - was, respectively, €1,600 and €1,675 per month.Both adverts have now been taken down as he has already found tenants willing to pay that much.)

"Absolutely fucking disgusting" does not even begin to describe this state of affairs. And given that this is the general situation with regard to housing these days, my chances of finding anywhere to live within the private rented sector in this country, are now precisely Zero.

A word of advice to any Squaxx thinking of moving to the Emerald Isle for work, study, the furtherance of a relationship - or any other reason - are quite simply this: DON'T! Because as far as finding accommodation in this country goes, unless you are earning very big groats indeed, then you are well and truly snecked!

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Off Topic / Re: RIPs

« on: 29 December, 2022, 08:40:18 PM »

One of the greatest footballers of all time, Pele.

https://www.the42.ie/pele-3-5957709-Dec2022/

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Off Topic / Re: The Black Dog Thread

« on: 24 December, 2022, 02:34:23 PM »

and yet you go on. to paraphrase beckett.

i don't think i have written a more self-centred set of nonsense in my life.
and yet i have. to paraphrase beckett.

hello.

Just wanted to say welcome back, Wolfie! I can't add much more in the way of wisdom to what the rest of the good folk on this forum have already said, except to say that I'm glad to hear that you're still with us. This time of year is especially rotten when you're feeling down but I hope that, somehow, you'll find a way to get through the tough times you've experienced and keep on keeping on. All the best and kind regards - Paddy Kafka.

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Off Topic / Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments

« on: 19 December, 2022, 07:22:02 PM »

Not a mugging but certainly a menacing: I was ganged up on by an ever-increasing number of crows in a public park in Brussels a few weeks back. Belgian crows have nothing on Irish seagulls, but there were a lot of the bastards and they were on their own turf. Shameful to admit, but I took myself and my sandwich elsewhere at speed.

Sounds like you had a narrow escape there, JWare, when one considers that the collective noun for those feathered beasties is A Murder of Crows.

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Off Topic / Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments

« on: 18 December, 2022, 09:05:44 PM »

MUGGED BY A SEAGULL!

So there I was, late Saturday afternoon in St Stephen's Green, Dublin and I had decided to take a break from the hustle and bustle of life and have my afternoon snack ( a Veggie falafel from Dealz, if you must know). I had just taken out said snack from my bag, and before my arse had even made contact with the bench I was  suddenly dive-bombed by a Seagull! (At least with Stukas you had some sort of advance warning. This particular flying git came out of nowhere like some sort of stealth bomber!)

It promptly bit off half of the falafel and flew off. But instead of having the decency to make good its escape, the bloody creature whirled about, landed about ten feet away from me on the path, and proceeded to mock me by guzzling away on my feckin' lunch!

Well, if the air had not already been blue from the cold, it certainly was after the torrent of abuse and curses that I hurled at the aforementioned avian terrorist. I can safely assure you all, that my questioning as to the legitimacy of it's birth was on a minor scale, compared to the other oaths which I uttered towards it.

One of the barmen in Grogan's pub, to whom I later related my sorry tale of ambush and woe - I was in a state of shock and needed some calming down in the form of a pint - reckoned that one of the reasons for these bird attacks, is the depletion of fish stocks in the seas off the coastline of the Emerald Isle.

And he may well be right.

But if, at some future point, Stephen's Green is indeed reduced to fifteen blades of grass and a bush called "Kevin" - as predicted in the Garth Ennis scripted Dredd story "Emerald Isle" - my guess is that said devastation will not be the result of nuclear fallout. Rather, it will be from the tragic, and environmentally disastrous aftermath, of irate citizens going mad from having their lunch nicked and rampaging through the park on a wild and frenzied Gull cull.

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Off Topic / Re: This is the News!

« on: 16 December, 2022, 11:17:52 AM »

Also, thanks for the heads up, Paddy. I might head along.

You're very welcome, Jayzus. I know it's short notice, but if there's any other Squaxx thinking of attending the protest, maybe we should organise a quick meet up ourselves beforehand, and go as a block, as it were? I'm fighting with the Old Kilmainham block! Who the hell are the rest of you guys with?! 

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Off Topic / Re: This is the News!

« on: 16 December, 2022, 10:54:33 AM »

Ireland’s head of government Micheál Martin steps down this weekend as taoiseach. He will be ploughed into the earth to appease the Goddess and assure the future prosperity of the republic.

 ...and assure the future prosperity for the already comfortably-off and well-heeled citizens of the republic.

FTFY 

And on a related note, the National Homeless and Housing Coalition will be holding a protest tomorrow, Saturday 17th December, outside the Dail on Kildare Street at 1pm.

https://www.facebook.com/NationalHomelessandHousingCoalition/

I hope that they will be using my favourite ever protest chant: "What do we want? Gradual change! When do we want it? In due course!"

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Off Topic / Re: The Black Dog Thread

« on: 14 December, 2022, 09:23:40 AM »

As you are clearly unwell, Jade, are you surely not entitled to take sick leave, and then furnish your employer with a doctor's note upon your return to work? I'm sure that neither your colleagues, nor immediate on-site management, would appreciate you turning up with what could potentially be a communicable illness.

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Off Topic / Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes

« on: 10 December, 2022, 12:07:18 PM »

Not only that, they also seem to go through three stages: pressurized, hairy, and dimpled.