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Self-contained from the late '70s/early '80s, possibly part of the BBC's Schools and Colleges programming.

A group of four(?) children is engaged in a battle-of-wits with two disembodied heads communicating with them via a television. Outwitted, the two heads (one male, one female?) agree to releasing the children from the room they've been trapped in --

-- Except there's a twist-ending. Buggered if I can remember what but I think it implied the kids were trapped unwittingly in the same, never-ending battle of wits.

I caught a lunchtime repeat of it a few years after I first saw it and seem to remember one if not both heads were played by faces familiar from . . . uh, something else.

Saw these, yesterday. Although the former's far from good, the best moment came halfway through the final act when, having been surprisingly tolerant of the incessant chatter from the group in front, I leaned forward and said "Ladies . . ."

A Mexican wave of four girlies each jumping up, screaming so hard they shit their popcorn everywhere is a beautiful sight.

Haven't seen the third movie but I enjoyed the first two FINAL DESTINATIONs, the second especially simply 'cuz it's more playful and takes itself far less seriously than the original.

The latest, DEFINITIVE installment, however -- in 3D, no less!onlywhereavailablecheckcinemafordetails -- really is the only reason for going to see it, which in itself isn't much of a carrot for any other silly asses out there. And having done so I've thus made the prospect of THE FINAL DESTINATION 2 just that little bit more likely, so feel free to feather me, I'll supply the tar.

Now, I don't have a Scooby about the technology involved and yes, it does try making use of it, but the overall effect itself seems no more advanced than when CHILDREN IN NEED/DOCTOR WHO utilized it with 'Dimensions in Time', what, fifteen years ago? Sure, I laughed like a loon during the opening credits of MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D, likewise during the opening premonition of THE FINAL DESTINATION, but it seems once I've got used to the effect, the appeal kinda wears off. Of particular fash is when whatever's jumping out from the screen is blurry.

Ah, well. No doubt more CGI annoyance later today with DORIAN GRAY and its horrible night-time lighting.

An all-time fave of mine ON THE BIG SCREEN, next Tuesday (15th. September). Check your local Cineworld for details.

Don't just wait there a little while thinking about it . . .

. . . A NIGHTMARE TO OTHERS

I've never got round to watching APT PUPIL but the films of Singer's I have seen mostly left me feeling either indifferent or wanting to walk out the cinema. Which may well include THE USUAL SUSPECTS as I've seen it once only and then when it was first released on video.

I seem to remember something about Boorman's difficulties in having Malory's version adapted which might explain the decision to remake rather than being arsed to make any real effort.

And, of course, a post like this is also the perfect excuse for a spot of TordelBacking. With the supposed celtic connections of the Arfurian legends, perhaps Hollywoad should reconsider and instead adapt a certain 2000 AD strip.

The one of which I speak, I need not mention by name.

You're in a room. There's a goblin guarding a treasure chest to your . . . Oh, sorry. Wrong show.

I don't have a problem with it being set in a desert, rather than Portmeirion, but it does rather seem to be missing the point with Ian McKellen as an unchanging Number Two.

I'm not a cucumber . . . I'M A PIECE OF HAM.

Nope. Nothing to do with Kraftwerk, even if I could probably seque into le cancan from 'Das Model'.

Anyhow, those times I make a futile attempt at humming 'Un bel di' from MADAME BUTTERFLY it always transmogrifies into the CROSSROADS theme. Likewise, a similar thing happens with 'Music' by John Miles and the BLAKE'S 7 tune.

Compare:

Mash-up Miles

from 3:19, with the opening few seconds of:

Blended Blake

Now, I'm thinking I can't be completely tone deaf. I once won a T-shirt doing karaoke, y'know.

Paul Darrow. Emmerdale.

DXB, it's your sworn duty, I thought, to keep us informed of such things.

Okay, so I'm only eight volumes behind the rest of you. I'm straggling but, assuming my brains remain my own, I promise to catch up as soon as.

So anyway, you filth fanciers.

It was a while ago now (and no longer the case) but when did WHSmith place 2000 AD on or near the top shelf? Late '80s/early '90s? And whilst we're at it, when did 2000 AD start being referred to as 'The Tooth'?

And for those that only came for the pretext of porn:

Ooh, dare I click?

Ages ago when I and many others here were tiddlers, Auntie (and ITV/Channel 4, for that matter) had a Shoals 'n' Colleges schedule on weekday mornings. As was sometimes the case, the presenters of these would read from a story book.

I remember one such book told the tale of a chap who lived alone in a multi-story building. On each floor there was clock, none of which (much to yer man's frustration) ever seemed to give the correct time. It wasn't until a friend of his came over with a pocket watch that the man realized why this should be, that he hadn't taken into account that time had elapsed each time he went upstairs or down.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is name that tale. 'Coz I'm buggered if I know.

And cue Lalo Schifrin.

Anyone any idea which prog would have been in orbit immediately before Thursday 3rd. December, 1998?

I've had a butchers at Barney but, as far as I can tell, the covers during this era weren't giving the year.

Anybody any idea what the meaning is for the name 'Gruoch'?

Well, I've asked my sister who really should have known the answer despite her rather weak excuse ("Oh, I don't listen to the charts, anymore . . . Is it 'American Boy' by Estelle?"), so I'm turning to you.

There was a dance track that came out last year (I think) but I've no idea what it's called nor whom it's by. Whispy female vocal. The chorus lyric was something like "Such a beautiful lie/life". It's up-tempo but downbeat. I've already tried YouTube but the only things coming up for the aforementioned line are 30 Minutes to Arse, some naff Japanese pop act, and sodding Arse of Bass.

And no, it's not 'Beautiful Liar' by Beyonce and SHAKARA! SHAKARA! (yes, I know, but how else was I going to get you to read this thread?).

Disappointingly, not the slice of exploitation that the movie poster would have you believe but a rather sweet film about people sorting out their lives.

Samuel L. Jackson acts, Christina Ricci gets her tits out.

Enjoyable but truly awful in parts, namely the inevitable cameo and the Saturday Night Spidey routine. And that scientific research station has got to have the most lax security in cinema history.

'Nuff Sayed, true believers! U.S.S. Excelsior, etc., etc..

According to Ceefax, readers of Doctor Who Magazine have named David Tennant 'best Dr. (sic!) Who'.

If there's someone who could post here a scan of the last page of said story (Prog 28), I'd be most grateful.

But not *that* grateful.

Ta in advance.

My name's Gareth.

It's been eighty-two weeks since my last prog.

Batman's granddad.

Not brilliant but good, certainly better than all those other Big Screen adaptations. Now go see it for yourselves while I try thinking up a clever title for this thread!

In case those of you who are interested don't know already, Anchor Bay releases its Region 1 DiviMax 4-Disc Ultimate Edition of Romero's Dawn of the Dead this September 7.