38 yr old expectant farther needs advice

[Proudhuff]

Don't read!! it will be cast up for years to come, practice sleep, preferably with your eyes open and making sympathetic noises.
But don't, don't sleep while she's awake... in the middle of a 36 hour labour I tried to snatch a quick kip while 'she' was knocked oot on drugs etc only to be awoke with the cry of 'what the hell have you got to be tired about?' Hormones

Have a big pish-up with your mates before she gets out and pencil one in every month there after, its the only way to keep sane

and slip off to comic cons when ever you can

Huff the daddy

[Trout]

Take a broadsheet newspaper. You'll be lucky to get to the end of it.

There's not a lot of time for reading.

- Trout

[pauljholden]

Also: start working out which of your stuff needs moved to higher ground and start moving it. Won't be long before the wee bugger can grab everything off the coffee table, then the chairs, then the higher tables (and the kitchen table) and finally, and, possibly most horrifically, can reach to your drawing table with a crayon (not happened yet... but it's a close call)

- pj

[TordelBack]

There will be no reading, nor chance for reading, nor THOUGHT of reading.  If by some odd chance you find yourself alone in the corridor during a quiet (or more likley too hectic to have you flapping about in the room) moment in the 'process', you will find it quite fulfilling to press your forehead against a cold windowpane and feel the sensation completely, maybe even open your eyes and look at the world outside for the last time ever as your own person.  In a short while, you will stop being you, forget your own name, and instead become a complete stranger's one-and-only "Dad".  It's fucking cool.  But there will not be time for reading until later.  You won't miss it.

[Concrete Block 15]

And there was me thinking that the story linked below* was freaky; please tell me that the expectant mother-to-be is not of the four legged braying variety?


* subsequently proved to be a complete bag o' shite by blood tests. Heehaw heehaw heehaw.

Link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=416816&in_page_id=1770" target="_blank">PUSSY SCREWED DOGGY-STYLE?

[judge dreddd]

I saw a book called 'you'r the daddy' in the library yesterday, perhaps you could find that ?