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The Black Dog Thread

Started by Grugz, 02 January, 2016, 09:54:32 PM

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TordelBack

Quote from: Woolly on 25 July, 2019, 09:30:34 PM
We're here, we're like you...

Speak for yourself!  This is a man who wiped his arse with a slug!  A slug.

;)

The Legendary Shark

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SmallBlueThing(Reborn)

Thank you, everyone. I mean it. Its here that I feel secure enough to talk about these things, not Facebook, nowhere else. The last couple of days have been... tough. Thankfully, today is a little brighter. Or would be if not for the sudden storms and rain, obviously. But my head is in a slightly better place today at least.

This place gets a lot of stick elsewhere on the net. But it really is the very best. 

SBT

The Legendary Shark


Good to see you starting to come up again, SBT.

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Tjm86

Don't knock a good storm there!  Nowt better than a real barnstormer to clear the air and the cobwebs.  This week's was a doozy.  Lot's of rolling thunder, stuttering lightning and torrential rain.  Lighting up the night something fierce.

von Boom

Quote from: SmallBlueThing(Reborn) on 26 July, 2019, 02:26:24 PM
Thank you, everyone. I mean it. Its here that I feel secure enough to talk about these things, not Facebook, nowhere else. The last couple of days have been... tough. Thankfully, today is a little brighter. Or would be if not for the sudden storms and rain, obviously. But my head is in a slightly better place today at least.

This place gets a lot of stick elsewhere on the net. But it really is the very best. 

SBT
I can't imagine anyone wanting to give this place stick. A good bath certainly...

Seriously, though, glad to hear things are bit brighter for you. Keep well.

Dandontdare

SBT, I wish I could give genuinely helpful practical advice, but I can't, beyond reiterating that you've got mates and things won't always look this shit.

As for all the well-meaning but crap advice out there...



(credit: Cyanide & Happiness @ explosm.net)



JayzusB.Christ

Quote from: Dandontdare on 26 July, 2019, 08:55:05 PM
SBT, I wish I could give genuinely helpful practical advice, but I can't, beyond reiterating that you've got mates and things won't always look this shit.

As for all the well-meaning but crap advice out there...



(credit: Cyanide & Happiness @ explosm.net)


Perfect!

I've been reading a lot about CBT recently, and listening to the Feeling Good podcast.  It's slow and painstaking work  but I believe it's had results, for me at least.

One thing I've learned, and kind of knew already but found it helpful to see in print, is that depression gives you a distorted view of the past and the future.  It tricks you into thinking that life has never been happy and never will be. It's not advice, but it's an observation I found useful.
"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest"

Professor Bear


Tjm86

Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 27 July, 2019, 11:57:22 AM
.... depression gives you a distorted view of the past and the future.  It tricks you into thinking that life has never been happy and never will be.

The really annoying thing about depression and associated conditions is that it can cripple your trust in your self.  There is nothing more annoying than second-guessing yourself and your thinking because you are worried that it is mania rather than a productive insight.  So on top of the effort that it takes to work yourself around a problem you also have to work around your distrust.

Hawkmumbler

Is it normal to be afraid of grief? Like it's something thats been going through my head a lot lately. We all assume it's just mortality we're afraid of, but I don't think so. I'm not afraid of death, for certain members of my family I feel they're waiting for that release, death comes to all, so it doesn't scare me. But grief? Grief is this awful, visceral thing I don't feel often, but when I do it's when i've lost someone close. And thats the biggest fear in my life, and something thats kept me up at night a lot over the years. The terrifying inevitability of grief.

Funt Solo

Grief and Fear

I'm always surprised by my grief - it's never where I think it should be.  And I have problems being around people who are grieving, and usually distance myself from them.  I think this is tied to the slow death of my girlfriend's mum to cancer, back when I was still a young man.  I had a bit of a break down at the funeral.  Probably my avoidance of engagement with other people's grief is something to do with defending myself against that visceral hurt.

When my granny (who I wasn't very close to and only met a few times) colleagues were surprised at my lack of grief.  But when Iain Banks died it knocked me around: I just burst into tears (which doesn't happen often these days).  I still haven't read The Quarry because I'm still mourning, I think. Carlos was the other one.  I think sometimes we don't realize we have heroes until they're gone.

So, yes: I think it's normal to be afraid of grief.
++ A-Z ++  coma ++

TordelBack

#402
I hear ya Hawkie, and I think it's very common. I spend a lot of dark moments contemplating the inevitable loss of various loved ones, and reflecting on past losses, and (utterly selfishly) it's often my own resulting grief that occupies me most. As for my own death, it's really just all the things I've left unfinished and people I've failed at that worry me; other than that just feed me to the pigs and move on.  But terror of the pain of inescapable loss, that's the biggie.

Quote from: Funt Solo on 18 August, 2019, 07:17:25 PM
I still haven't read The Quarry because I'm still mourning, I think.

That makes (at the very least) two of us. Also Terry Pratchett's The Shepherd's Crown.

TordelBack

Good mate (who is painfully familiar with my strengths and weakneses) encouraging, nay, nagging me to go for a public-facing plum of a job that she reckons I have a fair chance of getting.

But I know that I couldn't actually do it, couldn't keep my head up long enough to get through the long application process, never mind be consistent throughyears of day-to-day interaction with people. It's all I can do to get out of bed and go out to do the simplest of work largely on my own, can't even answer the phone or reply to emails many days. I turned down the chance ofa simpler, nicer job last year because it filled me with terror of letting people down again.

After a lot of work I've made my peace with this state of affairs, keep the self-berating to a minimum and even congratulate myself for just keeping on keeping on, but... it's all a bit shit innit?

Proudhuff

TB, congratulate yourself for just keeping on keeping on, choose to count yer blessing, limbs and health, feed the good wolf not the negative one, and annoy the fuck out of anyone you dislike, its what keep me going >:(
DDT did a job on me