Stupid things people have actually said to you.

[House of Usher]

On Facebook:

"Someone I work with wants recommendations for reading for 12-year-old girl, coming up for thirteen, who is going to be spending a long time recovering at home from an accident. Any suggestions?"

The eighth reply: "The Diary of Anne Frank."

[shaolin_monkey]

I've had some great ones from work colleagues.  One of my faves was when listening to a particularly rousing piece on Classic FM - it might have been Mars from the Planet Suite. One of my colleagues exclaimed 'Here come the baddies!'

[Satanist]

Me : Where's Dave

Them : Visiting his twin sister

A stupid person : Oh are they identical?

[House of Usher]

"What's your background in?"

- anthropology.

"And what are you studying?"

- housing.

"Oh. That's unusual. Well, I suppose anthropods make houses too, after a fashion."

[Noisybast]

On Facebook:

"Someone I work with wants recommendations for reading for 12-year-old girl, coming up for thirteen, who is going to be spending a long time recovering at home from an accident. Any suggestions?"

The eighth reply: "The Diary of Anne Frank."

Misery?

[Pyroxian]

A friend of mine broke her wrist quite badly and was laid up in hospital for a few days, and I decided to buy her a Graphic Novel to read - so I (without thinking much), got her 'Bone'...

[Richmond Clements]

On Facebook:

"Someone I work with wants recommendations for reading for 12-year-old girl, coming up for thirteen, who is going to be spending a long time recovering at home from an accident. Any suggestions?"

The eighth reply: "The Diary of Anne Frank."

Well, obviously: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Turning-Tiger-Special-Edition-Moore/dp/1926914872

[Dandontdare]

Me: "so you're going in for your operation as a day-case on the 31st?"
Elderly Irish* gentleman "No - I'm going in on the 30th, they're operating on the 31st and I'm coming home on the 32nd"

I kept a straight face.

*I make no judgement, it's just funnier with the accent

[Link Prime]

2 for the price of 1 today:

1) My girlfriend- "That Kings of Leon DVD you're looking for is going cheap in HMV". I told her I wasn't really that into the Kings of Leon.  We argued for about half an hour. Turns out she meant 'Sons of Anarchy'.

2) (For Irish boarders only). My sister- "Is Wexford in Wicklow?"

[Roger Godpleton]

"What's your background in?"

- anthropology.

"And what are you studying?"

- housing.

"Oh. That's unusual. Well, I suppose anthropods make houses too, after a fashion."

I thought your're background was roads.

[Roger Godpleton]

Read this on CollegeHumor:

I work at a popular italian restaurant as a food/kitchen runner. Sucks. A woman ordered a salad. She sent the salad back complaining that the vegetables in the salad were too "crispy and fresh." She asked for us to put it in the microwave with butter.

[Frank]

During a conversation about old kids' shows: "Yeah, it used to be on after Wes Craven's Newsround".

[Dandontdare]

During a conversation about old kids' shows: "Yeah, it used to be on after Wes Craven's Newsround".

I would've LOVED to see Wes Craven's Newsround.

[Frank]

During a conversation about old kids' shows: "Yeah, it used to be on after Wes Craven's Newsround".

I would've LOVED to see Wes Craven's Newsround.

It always terrified me when the sleeves of Craven's polyester shirt extended out so far that his metal fingers drew sparks from the walls of the TV studio as he ran towards the camera. That, and reports from Lebanon and Northern Ireland. 

[Emp]

Actually overheard in work today by someone talking about thier grandchild,

"Jonathan got his hair cut yesterday, he looks so grown up now,"    (harmelss enough you might think)
"Oh What age is he now?"
"Thirteen months,"

Thirteen months!!!!!