Threadjacking!

[The Legendary Shark]

Kill your way to Heaven.

[TordelBack]

In fairness to that Jesus fella, if my residual memories of my long-gone religious self is to be trusted, the division He speaks about is between the old ways and the new - of necessity there will be conflict between the generation that cleave to codified, traditional ways of doing things, and those who follow Jesus' radically new way of just, y'know, loving one another, giving away your stuff, and hanging out with known floozies and officers from Revenue. 

So in this many of the major threads of Christianity are to be congratulated, in adopting exactly the kind of arcane monied hierarchies and enforced just-so stories that would be devoid of any hint of the kind of hippie nonsense that might cause the intergenerational friction that the Jesus warned about.

Although I'm fairly sure he didn't envisage automatic weapons being involved.

[Hawkmumbler]

A little bit late to this one, but on behalf of your southern bretheren, I would like to thank all of Scotland for this little hero.

http://www.thecourier.co.uk/news/local/fife/video-st-andrews-piper-defeats-street-preacher-in-the-most-scottish-way-possible-1.901024

[Spaceghost]

I've invented an Ian Edginton drinking game.

Read any of his comics and take a drink every time a character says either "The warp and weft of the world" or "I'll not play anyone's catspaw!".

You'll be absolutely legless in no time.

[I, Cosh]

I've invented an Ian Edginton drinking game.

Read any of his comics and take a drink every time a character says either "The warp and weft of the world" or "I'll not play anyone's catspaw!".

You'll be absolutely legless in no time.

Think I'll stick with those hardy perennials "Spit and clench!" and "Piss and vinegar."

[von Boom]

The solution is here:

[JOE SOAP]

Robert Zemeckis exploited 9/11 to open a portal in space-time so he could make Back to the Future and promote The Walk

[Hawkmumbler]

I'm sorry, even mocked up conspiracy videos make my skin crawl.

[TordelBack]

Now that is pure genius.

[Proudhuff]

That should be shown to every Media Class in the country

[The Legendary Shark]

Von Boom - that's brilliant!

The way I'm going to jack this thread is via the medium of smug nostalgia.

The heady days of Windows 95 and my first modern computer since the Commodore 64 at High School. The O/S is a pirate copy and the PC cobbled together from cast-offs and hand-me-downs. No internet. Long, dark, alcohol and fag fuelled nights of frustrated tinkering. Trying to print just one file takes six hours and results in Windows Explorer disappearing altogether. Getting Explorer back but losing the ability to re-boot. BIOS, chkdsk, fdisk, "thrum!", "ping!", "dong!", BSoD and, inevitably, format :/C. ARE YOU SURE? No, I'm desperate. Starting all over again.

Getting the hang of it. Here's Windows 98. Blind fumbling turns to ham-fisted fumbling. Feeling proud of myself for installing a complicated driver and then screaming my frustrations at the mutant PC for nearly an hour before realising it won't boot because I've left a floppy in the A Drive. Is this a hardware or software problem? Turns out to be both. Expense. Frustration. Madness.

Windows XP and ham-fisted fumbling has evolved into blasé fumbling but that's all right because I've got two hard drives now and XP re-installs much more easily. Security, spying, adware, malware, viruses, rootkits, keyloggers. Snowden, CIA, MI5, Google, Microsoft, corporatism, SOPA, PIPA.

So I switched to Linux Mint on my newly re-activated laptop. Hence the nostalgia. Dabbling with Linux in the past proved frustrating. It's supposed to be easier now. Yeah, easier to screw up. All installed well. Impressed myself. Restored 20GB of my own files (novels, scripts, artwork, etc.) - over 20 years' worth of stuff - with ease. Great. Now I can do some work. There's a small change I want to make to one of my Zarjaz fanzine Bix Barton scripts. Clicking on Open.

You do not have permission to open this file.

Every single one of my files locked out to me. Hence the nostalgia.

Four days of ham-fisted fumbling, including a re-install working from confusing and incomplete instructions on a shady website, and I appear to have fixed the problem.

Hence the smugness.

[Spikes]

Don't forget; Marty McFly is popping by tomorrow....

[Goaty]

Bit gutted we don't have hover boards and flying cars......

[Theblazeuk]

A guy at work clearly went to the Secret Cinema and spent oodles of money on his costume. 'Self-lacing' Nike boots with lights in the heels.

Those not in the know are looking at him like he's a complete muppet 

[The Enigmatic Dr X]

Patience is a virtue.

You have a year to write a post, and this is what you come up with?

Need more practice. You know you want to come back.