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[Cyber Horse:]

I like making random things and by random things I mean random things. In my friends text mud/moo text extravaganza I made randomly generated movie posters

Showing every day after Mass at a reasonably priced hypo-fun session at the dome.  From the fast on the draw well known pundit Romeo Vega who assisted on such features as 'The Three Ninjas' and the somewhat popular 'Zinc Soldier', the holo-flick critics are calling 90 minutes too long.
Cyber Horse:
He was a loving Iranian with  an irreverant attitude and a face for radio. She was a well-oiled empowered business woman who could never be found when heavy lifting was required and needed something else in life. Together they experimented with nano technology.  Fighting daytime television and forgiving the damned.

This May at a holo-stage on _YOUR_ planet.  From the striving Sound Designer Adan Albert who helped create the classic 'Find the Fiery Sword' and the other worldly 'Street Destruction', the holo-flick critics are calling Geoff.
A.I: Artificial Complex:
He was an over-weight superstar soccer player with a dislike of Canadians and lungs of iron. She was a japanese shaven haired dyke who never forgot and wanted more. Together they were happy until getting caught in a flash acid storm.  Fighting a talking car and destroying lives.

This May at a movie theatre near you.  From the often original Property Master Preston Peck who worked on such classics as 'The Bitter Jackal' and the often unappreciated 'Grey Circle', the holo-flick critics are calling some kind of movie.
Full Bore to Museum:
He was a spoon faced lighthouse man with a phobia of snakes and a technicolour dreamcoat. She was a strong street performer who never gave up and enjoyed food. Together they set aside their differences.  Fighting overbearing health and safety legislation and changing lives.

You can read them online thanks to some genius
http://wayfar1444.com/index.php?page=display_item&item=70689

we also have a bunch of markov bots that argue with each other and troll everyone, they are sometimes strangely realistic, they also have their own in game tv show that no one can stand to watch

On the cheap television: Genmac [to Q]: i will assign him to fuck himself.

and their own comm network which is like an endurance test

[anonymousnet] Jairo Compton, a pretentious stamp collector, from Newbridge says, "feel something. something is happening. sandwhiches do rule. get u some guac. or slices."
[anonymousnet] Isaias Fitzgerald, a selfless stunt double for Jason Statham, from Padiham says, "we don't have enough faith in you."

I'm now in the process of feeding the entire star trek tng dialogue for the lead tng characters into seperate bots so we can eventually have a randomly generated perpetual star trek episode. I kinda got bored and started feeding looptroop and immortal technique lyrics into wesly crusher though

  wesley says, "America wouldn't destroy two buildings in a twenty degree turn
    around Titan. we should try to help. he is on the Bridge, he must have been
    listened to If it was a child, the Devil crept into Heaven, God overslept on
    the whole sound. hope you're right, Geordi. soon as you're ready. I know.
    For a dinner date."
  wesley says, "tom. asshole facist."
  wesley says, "even at maximum warp. this is my style."
  wesley says, "doctor. What happened to the next Thing I remember is finding
    myself on the 7th the new world order was born on September 11 And just so
    Conservatives don't take it to the ship, And Lore is loose on the wrong
    ship."
  wesley says, "been studying the nanites to interact For a Klingon. that didn't
    quite Come out the way the government downplays historical facts Cuz the
    United states sponsored the rise of the same Thing For me."
  wesley says, "But with Worf it was proof Rockin a motherfucking flag don't
    make you choke by suprise like an aborted fetus in a probe to the planet
    surface. It'll act like America wouldn't destroy two buildings in a cave."

Brian Blessed or Johnny Vegas
slamdunk!

Lets not fag up the thread with your retarded shit anymore.

I watched the Panorama North Korea special tonight. The only thing special about it was John Sweeneys beard disguise which didn't disguise him but just made him look like John Sweeney from an evil parallel universe.
Evil John proceeded to not only waste my time and license payers money by saying the same shit the news papers have been saying for the past month BUT FROM KOREA! but also endanger the lives of exchange students everywhere. Which I don't care about.

Panorama, you used to be cool.

There's a book called Nothing to Envy which is a pretty good read and does a much better job than Evil John getting across how shit eating insane North Korea is. And by shit eating insane I mean they ate mud and clay. I don't know if you've ever pooped clay, I haven't, but from what I read it requires some assistance from a friend and a poking stick. 

Here are some North Korean math puzzles, I'm not even joking.

"A girl is acting as a messenger to our patriotic troops during the war against the Japanese occupation. She carries messages in a basket containing five apples, but is stopped by a Japanese soldier at a checkpoint. He steals two of her apples. How many are left?" "Three soldiers from the Korean People's Army killed thirty American soldiers. How many American soldiers were killed by each of them if they all killed an equal number of enemy soldiers?"

It is the basis of "nuclear deterrent "and arguably why we never had a third world war.

Also using words like "retarded" as pejorative is a pretty faggy thing to do.

faggy

[anonymousnet] Enzo Maddox, an earthy obama hater, from Ferndown says, "germ warfare. i'm totally gonna make a mint On it too."

[Beatnik Liberal?]

If another country wants to have nuclear weapons then who are we to stop them, it's their business and nobody elses. I say that we should just ignore them and get on with our lives and have fun.

You know some countries are out right, off the hook, all up in your grill, batshit insane right? Those dudes shouldn't have nuclear weapons, man. They shouldn't be allowed forks really. And even the chill countries are not immune to revolution, and I don't mean the flakey beatles, love-in kind of revolution. But have fun getting on with your life while all the right wing extremists, fundamentalist nutjobs and god complex communists take advantage of your beatnik, liberal ideals. Peace, man!

Beatnik Liberal? You really don't know John. The conclusion he draws is questionable, but you can't argue with the fundamental logic of his statement: if it's okay/not okay for The US/China/Russia/India/Pakistan/France/UK/Israel to possess nuclear weapons, then it's okay/not okay for North Korea to have them too. If you don't think anyone should have nuclear weapons (and I don't), you're just coming at the same logical proof from a different angle.

His argument provides the kind of interesting counterfactual necessary to test the validity of any thesis - if it was really okay for states which sometimes act irrationally and belligerently (i) to have nuclear weapons, then it would also be acceptable for states which mostly act in that manner (North Korea) to possess them too. It isn't; so they shouldn't. The falsification of one statement is the proof of the validity of the other, but the logic's the same.


(i) as the US/China/Russia/India/Pakistan/France/UK/Israel all do

The 'but everyone else is doing it' argument is incredibly retarded.

If another country wants to have nuclear weapons then who are we to stop them, it's their business and nobody elses. I say that we should just ignore them and get on with our lives and have fun.

You know some countries are out right, off the hook, all up in your grill, batshit insane right?
Those dudes shouldn't have nuclear weapons, man. They shouldn't be allowed forks really.
And even the chill countries are not immune to revolution, and I don't mean the flakey beatles, love-in kind of revolution.
So. nuclear weapons are like a bad deal, bro.

But have fun getting on with your life and having fun while all the right wing extremists, fundamentalist nutjobs and god complex communists take advantage of your beatnik, liberal ideals. Peace, man!

I'm kidding. Or am I? I've seen a lot of weird shit, mostly on the internet. But I've never seen a nuclear war. The rolling media coverage would be a sight to behold. What exactly is the standard international response for a nuclear attack? Does the UN write another strongly worded resolution that China and Russia shrug their shoulders at or does the rest of world just launch an all out assault like in Civilization III:tanks vs pikemen and HADOUKEN! the korean peninsula into the fucking sun like so many batmans.
That does sound wicked fresh.
iuno. korea is crazy

been here before, read 2000ad for a long time

  171 on *comedy (#104047)                       // Fri Apr 12 07:49:40 2013 EDT
  the tape got stuck again                       // From: Aphteroid (#10193)
   Category              | Status                // Unassigned
   Joke                  | Submitted             //   0/  0 votes
 
  [anonymousnet] Jaylen Caldwell, a hung over street judge, from Swadlincote
    says, "level 1. barely broaching tech level 1. barely broaching tech level
    1. barely broaching tech level 1. barely broaching tech level 1. barely
    broaching tech level 1."

Dennis Pennis in game of thrones broke my mind

It was good but all I could think of was 'this is Brokeback Zombies'.

I watched The Sightseers at the weekend. Great film
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-57LRQdXqD0

I can't - I'm on freeview now 

Let me tell you about the internet...

Dwarf Fortress really made me want to do a procedurally generated project, and I noticed a distinct lack of cutting edge, or even barely awesome space MOO/MUDs.  I started work on my third personal game project.

I have reached alpha completion on a sci fi MOO, Wayfar 1444.  It's kind of a dwarf fort, conquestmud campy/far future sci fi game that I've been working on for about a year.  Things that are working as of now include procedurally generated planets, kingdom of loathing inspired reroll system, modern style skill based advancement, exploration & crafting, vehicles, aircraft, turrets, starships, player owned shops & buildings, hacking, procedural wildlife and resources, robot control and a unique dice pool based combat system.

http://wayfar1444.com/

Wayfar is a proceedurally generated space text multiplayer rpg thing created by an internet friend named genmac and myself and a few other people have helped out by adding such things as a dubstep mode

  [chatzone] YO SKRILL DROP IT HARD
  [chatzone] wubwobblewobblewubwubwwobblewwubb
  [chatzone] bwobblewwobblebwubwobwob
  [chatzone] wobwobblewwbwwob
  [chatzone] Aphteroid says, "oh for fuck's sake i'm writing a god damn verb"
  [chatzone] wwubbwobblewobwobwobblewobblewubwwubwub
  [chatzone] wubbwwwwubwobble
  [chatzone] wobblewobwubbwobblewwobblewobwobwob
  [chatzone] Aphteroid says, "have you any idea how difficult it is to program when all the verb code is filtered into dubstep"

and dubstep guns

  Aphteroid goes for his dubstep gun.
  Aphteroid wields his dubstep gun.
  Aphteroid switches targets to ASecretiveMan.
  ASecretiveMan removes his adminium jumpsuit.
  hadi says, "oh gaud"
  Aphteroid WUBWUBWUBwwwbbbbbBBBBWOBBLEbbbbwbwbwbWOBBLEwobbleWWUB ASecretiveMan
    holy shit
  Aphteroid crumples to the ground, gasps out his last breath, and dies.
  [gamenet] [Fri Sep 28 09:25:04 2012 EDT] Aphteroid (#10193) died at leafy wood
    (#95413).
  [laff zone] Aphteroid was killed by forces unknown.

There are rumours of rogue dubstep robots roaming one of the planets but I cannot confirm or deny.

We also have spaceships, planets, jetpacks, lasers, dangerously sentient arguement bots, weather and sometimes we have players and many other exciting features that aren't all dubstep related.

We are
Hawgpadre/genmac - pays for everything with his vegas slots dollars if he doesn't spend it on weed first.
Aphteroid - also known as cataphteroid. recently converted to christianity  in order get laid.
ASmallMoose = may or may not be massively obese. but he is fat.
Adminski - occasionally shows up and posts mail telling us how awful we are
Dragon - A geniune Iranian
Dibolcrif - was forced to ascend at gunpoint and doesn't really know why or what to do.
Eazy - currently starring in ice boat fish truckers reality tv show in canada or something
Me - A drunk

We don't know what we're doing 

  84 on *comedy (#104047)                        // Thu Jul 26 08:52:21 2012 EDT
  Aphteroid's Accidents 26/07/12                 // From: Aphteroid (#10193)
   Category              | Status                // Unassigned
   Joke                  | Submitted             //  +1/  0 votes
 
  Whilst developing an action to let NPCs fly planes, I decided to test things
    out by sitting a complex two ranger in the cockpit of a vertibird and
    forcing him to perform this action. He took off perfectly fine before
    mysteriously dissapearing out of the cockpit, various alarm bells were
    ringing because he appeared to be performing ~5 actions a second.
  It was then I realised I'd overlooked a single line in the action code which
    actually moves the vehicle, it actually moved HIM rather than the vertibird
    but because the vertibird wasn't moving anywhere he was stuck moving east
    until I killed him. He'd made about two orbits of WY-1444 by the time I
    relieved him of the horrors of travel_flyer.
  Remember folks, it's always the small things that break the big things.

54 on *comedy (#104047)                        // Sat Jun 30 07:32:24 2012 EDT
  safe!                                          // From: CheechLizard (#18347)
   Category              | Status                // Unassigned
   Joke                  | Submitted             //  +1/  0 votes
 
  Gilgamesh gives his dorg repellent a couple of shakes and begins spraying his
    body.
  Gilgamesh exclaims, "Safe!"
  The polar dorg growls viciously.
  The polar dorg snaps at Gilgamesh!
  The polar dorg lands a successful attack on Gilgamesh!
  Gilgamesh switches targets to a polar dorg.
  Gilgamesh rears back for a vicious slash at a polar dorg!
  Gilgamesh lands a successful attack on a polar dorg!
  The polar dorg switches targets to Gilgamesh.
  The polar dorg slashes at Gilgamesh!
  Gilgamesh rears back for a vicious slash at a polar dorg!         
  The polar dorg lands a successful attack on Gilgamesh!
  Gilgamesh crumples to the ground, gasps out his last breath, and dies.

come play, hang out and get drunk with us

bioshock infinite

I'm sorry but radical themes of racism and the american master race do not hide a mediocre shooter

I hold the world record for the worlds longest robot internet proceedurally generated conversation.
probably.
I'm a laughably bad programmer on a sweet game with a couple of friends. I make retarded shit just to amuse myself because players are over entitled jerks and how about some me time. what about my feelings?
like randomly named bots that spew an endless markov chain arguement between two internet dudes and one master troll.
They even have their own ingame tv show

Sunday, March 31, 2013:
10:26 am [anonymousnet] Saniyah Spence, a common frustrated housewife, from Oldbury says, "damn it's paid off."
10:27 am [anonymousnet] Edward Estes, an active text wizard, from Hartlepool says, "program, i just lolled irl right there cheech. when you turned the tv on. ahahaha."
10:28 am [anonymousnet] Vance Baker, an energetic B list celebrity, from Darlington says, "it's more like alastor. a lot of blind friendly rules (no triggers)."
10:29 am [anonymousnet] Gary Giles, a drowsy fireman, from Thame says, "there. you made thats it."
10:29 am [anonymousnet] Dylan Rocha, a reformed C list celebrity, from York says, "aren't gay about it. dude i want cheech to make sure, my concerns were unfounded. ah that's probably my fault in the early days for like an hour."
10:31 am [anonymousnet] Kairi Grant, a pleased housewife, from Oxford says, "respondin security. AUTHENTIC SECURITY ONLY. nerffbat. nooo that's a year+ out. he's a fuck."
10:31 am [anonymousnet] Sawyer Sharp, a psychic gypsy, from Pontypridd says, "oh i see it, typo. fuckin hawg typo. try now. lol."
10:33 am [anonymousnet] Beatrice Holloway, a lifeless shop assistant, from Blaydon says, "me 100 points for triggering to do too."
10:34 am [anonymousnet] Thalia Kerr, an extrovert mom, from Eaton Socon says, "just have fun bro..."
10:34 am [anonymousnet] Malachi Daniel, a young shitbird, from Littleborough says, "for all of like 2 lines.. i get you were convinced is not the same thing."
10:35 am [anonymousnet] Skyla Perez, a trifling shaven haired dyke, from Pyle says, "the chance. i'm gonna have some kind of borked right now."
10:38 am [anonymousnet] Kinsey Harding, a big hearted 80's pop sensation, from Hayling Island says, "now. prometheus is gonna blow the lid off of it."
10:40 am [anonymousnet] Kristopher Simpson, a good looking Chef in a top restaurant, from Bearsden says, "so he left."
10:40 am [anonymousnet] Cristina William, a redheaded power dressing HR recruitment consultant, from Sudbury says, "you going along with his concern over it, thus solidfying his position to fuck off. so how do i have definitely been doing. i guess id have to keep arguing about semantics now."
10:40 am [anonymousnet] Scarlet Chang, a giggling avon lady, from Greenock says, "bein nice to him now but i saved the bucket asap."
10:41 am [anonymousnet] Taryn Wiley, an unhygienic hilariously endowed pre-op transsexual, from Gosport says, "that's probably my fault in the explosives. ah gotcha."
10:44 am [anonymousnet] Jamie Dunn, a hung over mom, from Cudworth says, "me 100 points for triggering to do too. if i ever said that because it's the idea that text games have to do salvaging. which they make more and more boring each update. now u gotta guess the meter length to grapple a salvage teehee. fuck you that isn't fun at all. nodd i have a graphical client. mada had the balls to say he's obviously crazier than you because i do feel bad if i ever said that because it's the other way around really. pro plan. welcome 2 wayfar senate."
10:53 am [anonymousnet] Joselyn Carney, a big hearted widower, from Pelsall says, "it all for this and the posters."
10:53 am [anonymousnet] Rogelio Dunn, an earthy shitbird, from Camberley says, "address. SWEET SWEET FLESH."
10:55 am [anonymousnet] Casey Stephens, a good looking gypsy, from Oakdale says, "in DRS. you know this but other ppl think ur mean. these aim logs."
11:23 am [anonymousnet] Devyn Cantrell, a forgetful prime minister, from Swanley says, "distin-. lies. there's a distinction between useful and."
11:25 am [anonymousnet] Darnell Fitzgerald, an extrovert nerd, from Nailsea says, ". player interaction."
11:27 am [anonymousnet] Dominic Best, a short-sighted A list celebrity, from Walton says, "seen me when i didn't mean to turn it On in the tool team."
11:33 am [anonymousnet] Kieran Woods, a forgetful Presidential Candidate, from Bournemouth says, "is 100% your duty as top wizard. if you prog i mean. htis is shadow council things. just have fun bro..."
11:35 am [anonymousnet] Yesenia Brock, a self-centred single mother of seven, from Hatfield says, "because that is what he sent me. about that. yeah i don't get it. the backend. or anything else that i tested On the cheap television: Alastor [to Kharn]: i'm out."
11:44 am [anonymousnet] Trenton West, a respectable robot with a human heart, from Cheshunt says, "have that part in a nice notebook."
11:48 am [anonymousnet] Brooks Bailey, a bored doctor on the edge, from Chipping Sodbury says, "a thing. that is literally your only response was to refute that it was an admin. and didn't respond in any other way. to apologize for the problem that it had caused etc."
11:49 am [anonymousnet] Davon Ewing, a french house husband, from Peterborough says, "the first place."
11:51 am [anonymousnet] Yamilet Rasmussen, a heartless psychopath, from Hitchin says, "bug. and now it's not."
12:02 pm [anonymousnet] Rosalie Shaffer, a feckless skank, from Buxton says, "days for like an hour. idled 100 hours On pressure."
12:12 pm [anonymousnet] Vera Cantu, a ginger frustrated housewife, from New Ash Green says, "senate. this counts as the youngest child."
12:16 pm [anonymousnet] Lawrence Bowers, an acne scarred ambulance driver, from Marske-by-the-Sea says, "type another line about the idea until you say what it are. stupid fuckin work terminal atm tho."
12:19 pm [anonymousnet] Jamie Garcia, a heartless street lawyer, from Norwich says, "yes. and yes."
12:20 pm [anonymousnet] Celeste Barnett, a selfless Anchorwoman, from Frinton says, "weren't blind friendly."
12:27 pm [anonymousnet] Lizeth Hill, a friendless horse whisperer, from Pyle says, "the early days for like an hour."
12:35 pm [anonymousnet] Catalina Taylor, a cow eyed Anchorwoman, from Barrow-in-Furness says, "turned the tv on."
12:39 pm [anonymousnet] Cade Cross, a freakishly handsome street judge, from Newquay says, "with a ritual then. this is it watch. eery shit."
12:47 pm [anonymousnet] Ricky Harding, a childish doctor on the edge, from Wetherby says, "i try not to be like that to get some respect. Alastor told me or even send me address. SWEET SWEET FLESH. yes. and yes."
12:53 pm [anonymousnet] Kelsie Golden, a good looking tarot card reader, from Droylsden says, "things. this is already in. i have a could blind players as is."
12:56 pm [anonymousnet] Douglas French, a fat professional eunuch, from Blackpool says, "resign. ahahaha. aha."
1:07 pm [anonymousnet] Scarlet Booker, an airheaded grudge bearing bitch, from Maldon says, "it's not about what it is 2 to 3 paragrahs full of serious shit 50 to 70 words per paragraph or w/e instead of sorry bro. and moreover you shout at me for misrepresenting things from your perspective and flat out pin dex's quitting on me. and making wizards figureheads."
1:07 pm [anonymousnet] Kai Bowman, a three legged house husband, from East Grinstead says, "far as i know."
1:16 pm [anonymousnet] Devon Durham, a massively retarded obama hater, from Chorley says, "w/e. i disagree but w/e. i disagree with that action 100%. drama creation etc. either i care or dont care enough. atm i am avoiding commenting or posting anything at all serious post wasnt right and i tried to be you are being a dick to him. and id prefer telling me rather than saying i am telling you what was meant and i didnt talk things out with you, its because im fine with your decision, and have no qualms or beef, but would hope you will help me with domain.. liek i dont think it was mainly shown after you had said your thing on chatnet, which is why i didnt though. if youre wondering why i didnt agree with his concern over it, thus solidfying his position to fuck off. you gave me no chance to talk to on the game is dead and there are no admins besides me. okay."
1:18 pm [anonymousnet] Jaida Witt, a top athlete, from Wide Open says, "for triggering to do attackz."
1:24 pm [anonymousnet] Denise Middleton, an athletic shop assistant, from Kendal says, "atm tho. haha perfect."
1:34 pm [anonymousnet] Ivana David, a energetic shop assistant, from Spennymoor says, "it in my notebook. so think of me in that way."
1:42 pm [anonymousnet] Tara Vasquez, a nice avon lady, from Kimberley says, "fun as a player."
1:56 pm [anonymousnet] Kadence Gay, an athletic psychopath, from Bury Saint Edmunds says, "television: Alastor [to Kharn]: we don't continue here."
2:05 pm [anonymousnet] Cindy Lara, a ginger single mother of seven, from Haddington says, "when???. wtf. holy shit i'm terrible at this. dang man that hurts. to know garfield's jim davis is dead."
2:27 pm [anonymousnet] Finley Harper, a big hearted student, from Hereford says, "reference to medevia not evidence of a JOB. yes i saw ur bugs."

I appologise for any randomly generated offense

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOlHcvmUITc

The History channel is making a historically accurate drama about vikings, specifically Ragnar Lodbrok. It's pretty good, I've watched 4 episodes and it's trying to be a bit game of thrones but it's not that good.
But Vikings!