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The Letters Beast - Online!

Started by Buttonman, 27 September, 2017, 03:36:49 PM

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Buttonman

Yeah, like you're upon your emoticons Tom! You think 'LOL' is ' Liniment on Leg'.

The Enigmatic Dr X

Quote from: Proudhuff on 27 July, 2022, 11:55:45 AM
now I know why there isn't a LOL icon here....

That's very harsh. I would use a LOL icon on this thread. If, y'know, he was funny...
Lock up your spoons!

Buttonman

Just back my holidays but I see Dr X endured the wrath of the letters community in the latest Input page - I hope you can leave the house without police protection from the baying mob!

The Enigmatic Dr X

Quote from: Buttonman on 20 August, 2022, 11:16:50 AM
Just back my holidays but I see Dr X endured the wrath of the letters community in the latest Input page - I hope you can leave the house without police protection from the baying mob!

I was on holiday myself when my letter was printed.

As for this week, the baying of Tharg's sycophants is music to my ears - I guess I touched a nerve.

Brink? More like Stink, I say


(For the record, I really like Brink - I just thought the last book was over-staying its welcome a tad)
Lock up your spoons!

Proudhuff

Quote from: Buttonman on 20 August, 2022, 11:16:50 AM
Just back my holidays but I see Dr X endured the wrath of the letters community in the latest Input page - I hope you can leave the house without police protection from the baying mob!

And no plate pics?
DDT did a job on me

Proudhuff

from the hols, not Dr X's police file.
DDT did a job on me

Buttonman

Quote from: Proudhuff on 27 August, 2022, 03:59:14 PM
Quote from: Buttonman on 20 August, 2022, 11:16:50 AM
Just back my holidays but I see Dr X endured the wrath of the letters community in the latest Input page - I hope you can leave the house without police protection from the baying mob!

And no plate pics?

Just for you Tom!



The Enigmatic Dr X

Only a Scotsman would travel around the world to have a roll and sausage. Not even proper square, either
Lock up your spoons!

Proudhuff

It that the family from The Fast Show behind you?
DDT did a job on me

Buttonman

Quote from: The Enigmatic Dr X on 28 August, 2022, 07:05:10 PM
Only a Scotsman would travel around the world to have a roll and sausage. Not even proper square, either

It was an Argentinian chorizo sausage in an artisan bread roll with garlic aioli thank you very much

Decent, but no Greggs' lorne with HP sauce.

Quote from: Proudhuff on 31 August, 2022, 04:32:17 PM
It that the family from The Fast Show behind you?


Do you mean the always late family or the 'I'm not pissed you know' family? It was the latter and they were.

norton canes

Hey just wondered if everything was okay in Buttonman world, as the Letters Beast appears to be in extended hibernation

Buttonman

I was on holiday!

I find that interest tapers off in terms of reads and comments if I put up too many. I have a couple to log with the Festive Prog and the last Input page to upload to The Beast. Didn't get the Christmas issue until the middle of January, so blame the posties! Nice to be missed though!

Proudhuff

oh! blame the posties... blame the nurses? blame the drink! Be honest
DDT did a job on me

Buttonman

#253

And we're back for the first Lettersentertainyou since July 2022. Of course that can only mean one thing! Yes. That's correct, it's time for the coronation of King Charles III, and as obsequious royalists we're all down at Beast Towers for venerating our glorious leader and his handsome wife. This column is well known at the palace and held in equal regard to Michael Fagin and Nicholas Witchell.

In our brief absence the letters page has bounced along with a plaintive plea made in the Prog for more letters to the Megazine. They said that no one was writing to Dreddlines - well we can confidently say that they are bang wrong on that front with our bulging outbox testament to that fact. Hopefully the Ex-lax will take care of that though.

The return to action takes place in Prog 2330 which as the Input page sneakily deposited on Page 9 - it's almost like they were checking to see if we were still reading the full Prog and not just flicking to the back cover! For shame! Ask us anything about 'Brink' or 'Proteus Vex' and we'll find you an answer - possibly via Chat GPT though.

We get a nice selection of five letters, that include old and new faces and some letters based intercourse. Lovely, but we do have a headache.

First up is the always  keen Alistair Coleman of Reading. Or maybe he's Reading; it's not totally clear. This is Alistair's 6th all time appearance on the Beast database, all of which have graced the Prog. This is his first Letter of the Week with his first ever letter appearing in 2018's Prog 2093.

The letter is decent but it reads a bit like an essay from an earnest first year sociology student. He detects the subtle themes in Dredd of him being a big old fascist  and its parallels with contemporary society. I did enjoy his background details to the Dredd 'Shrine' story as that angle had passed us by - just like our youth and will to live. He snags the top spot with a timely salute to Michael Molcher's book, but all's fair in love and the Nerve Centre. Tharg responds to say Dredd is no hero but he'll stick him on a load of merch anyway.

Next up is a 2nd class return  from Nottingham from Pat Draper. That ancient 'Tunes' gag actually works as this is Pat's second letter to see print following a Letter of the Week offering in Prog 2274 last year. This score sees him as the dominant Draper as he overtakes Vincent of Coventry on one, who presented his memorable 'Long Tongue of the Law' in Prog 991.

Pat is a person who offers faint praise with his opening of  "The Prog is in a great place right now" quickly qualified by saying 'Enemy Earth' is "decent transition" - whoa boy don't go overboard here! He also bigs up 'The Order' before saying he has no idea what's going on - high praise indeed!

Wipe your feet in the forest next, as we have Mat Woods of Stockport in the mid page berth. This is Mat's first offering and he's the first Woods to be seen for the trees since William of Milton Keynes in 2004's Prog 1389. The King of Stockport remains Glen Hattersley on ten, who was last seen in 2017's Prog 2023.

Mat's letter is the old favourite of the lost then found reader. Mat lost interest in the Prog in the 90's but returned when he saw Simon Bisley back in action. Mat now has a double sub and all is good in the world. Unsurprisingly Tharg is happy with this state of affairs.

Next up is old, and we mean old, stager Stephen Watson of Paisley. This familiar hack hadn't been seen since Prog 2330 in 2022 and there was speculation that his dodgy ticker had at last expired. 'Not true' he tells us in an exclusive, and totally unsolicited, interview. He tells us that he's had at least one letter  printed in each year since 2014. This may be a record but we can't be bothered to check. Watson does extend his overall lead on the Beast chart to 103 and excitingly (for him) he now has more Prog Letters than Megazine ones with a 52/51 ratio. The Prog record of 53 held by Floyd Kermode is now firmly in his sights although Steve Frame's 9 Letters of the Week crown seems unassailable as Watson lingers with Floyd on a lowly six.

Watson's letter is one of his better efforts - even his wife agreed between tears - and covers the whole 2000ad vista as well as the ongoing debates around an aging readership and what constitutes a thrill these days. 20% off Gaviscon does it for us. Watson likes most of what Tharg offers but misses the quick hits. He's a sucker for the Regened Progs and likes a bit of Rogue Trooper to spice up his Prog. Tharg agrees balance is difficult and Watson concurs as his Zimmer gives way.

Last up is Paul Weller of Cornwall and it would be beneath us to make any easy jokes about this. It would put us in The Jam however if we didn't mention that this was his first letter and we have none on the database for 'Foxton' but 'Butler' has 13 in the shape of  Doug . The only other 'Weller' on the Beast Database is Simon of Tonbridge who went underground after his only outing in Meg 88/V2.68.

Paul's letter speaks like a child compared to that which went  before it which covers the same ground. Paul finds it hard to access some longer running stories and he also is confused by the time travelling tin man antics of 'The Order'. Tharg loses his patience somewhat and points out Nemesis had loads of books and people managed to understand that. Shout to the top Tharg, that's the ticket.

Overall we enjoyed this offering and there was good interaction between the readers and the Emerald Editor. Hopefully the Input page is in rude health for years to come and it remains the shining diamond in Tharg's crown.

Colin YNWA

Quote from: Buttonman on 03 May, 2023, 03:40:13 PMLast up is Paul Weller of Cornwall and it would be beneath us to make...

You handled that with Style, Counselling* the options of others to avoid the easy jokes.

*Yes, yes I know its the other spelling and no 'ing'. I said we've been told to avoid the easy jokes...