Lame Claims to Fame

[Eric Plumrose]

Kids, don't ever phone a national radio station if you've had a sleep-deprived two weeks. Oh sure, you might win some crappy X-FILES video or a trip to Hollywood but, FUCK ME. The enmity you'll receive for being the least fun contestant EVER (TWICE!) will haunt you for the rest of your days.

My advice? Steal Martin Freeman's record collection, instead.

[Proteus4]

I lived in London for a year back in 96 and had really expected to bump into celebs all the time in the city centre.  Closest I got? A drunk Wayne Sleep smiled at me in a deserted street.

Met Mark knopfler in Dublin and in my silly (drunk) excitement I both hugged and kissed him.

Had a pint with Donal Lunny.

The Culloden is a swanky hotel just outside belfast and my whole family went there for a meal for my mums birthday about 10 years ago. The whole of Travis were staying there that night after their belfast gig and I got asked where the toilets were by the bass player.

And I had a wee beside someone called Dan Donovan, who I think was a Christian Rock singer.

My brothers best mate in school ended up being the sound engineer on a Corrs album. Poor guy.

Dave

[Banners]

My advice? Steal Martin Freeman's record collection, instead.

His brother Tim would surely have a better collection.

[The Legendary Shark]

I once had a drawing of a futuristic traffic jam shown on Rainbow and won a badge, which is where it all started to go wrong, really.

[Skullmo]

I sat opposite David Mitchell's Dad's neighbour at dinner last week.

I once did Annette Crosbie's tax accounts.

My friend went to school with Dizzee Rascal, for a year until he got expelled.

I once went on a date with someone who claimed to be Michael Caroll's niece.

[Tiplodocus]

I play football with a lad who is mates with Gerard Butler. He still keeps in contact with him via text (just 3 months later).

I was in the pub on Friday with a bloke who is good friends with Kevin Bridges.

[Satanist]

I used to see Gerard Kelly in the local chippy every panto season but not since he died.

[I, Cosh]

I used to see Gerard Kelly in the local chippy every panto season but not since he died.

Arf!

Paul Young from off of fishing show Hooked on Scotland used to be a frequent sighting in the Philadelphia chippy on Great Western Road. No doubt telling his wife that he'd just stopped off and asked the boy to batter them up for him and only paid for the chips.

[I, Cosh]

One of my housemates sold 90s indie chancers Dodgy some weed, circa 1996/7.

All about the weed those lads.

They played the Students Union in Freshers Week one year and the mangy looking singer spent a good bit of time trying to chat up my (frankly, very attractive) hippychick flatmate while his mate tried to tap me and her boyfriend up for some dope. Pair of tossers.

The same girl provided an even lamer claim to fame when we had to endure Ed Byrne mooching around the house after her for a bit. At that point, he was just the Student Union social convenor or something. Although he did get his big tv break on Blind Date around that time.

[Proudhuff]

I'm in a shot of the crowd on the inside LP sleeve of the Rezillos live LP, my brother is name check on their original album.

Paul Weller said 'ear a lot about you' when I met him the once.

[Dandontdare]

I once went on a date with someone who claimed to be Michael Caroll's niece.

which one - Dredd writer and all-round nice chap or lottery winner and uber-chav?

[I, Cosh]

I once went on a date with someone who claimed to be Michael Caroll's niece.

which one - Dredd writer and all-round nice chap or lottery winner and uber-chav?

I always thought they were the same guy.

[M.I.K.]

I once had my dole money stopped by Alan Grant's cousin.

[The Legendary Shark]

The "Dale Winton Underhang" - that was my idea, that was.

[Eric Plumrose]

My advice? Steal Martin Freeman's record collection, instead.

His brother Tim would surely have a better collection.

Canters didn't have a radio show at the time.

That's my shield, by the way. In GLADIATOR. Perfect in rehearsal, raised late in the final* film.