Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments

[Roger Godpleton]

I have been made aware of Christmas cake but I have not been prima facie with it.

[COMMANDO FORCES]

You poor thing!

[Gavin_Leahy_Block]

Went to the dentist at lunchtime, turns out I've got to have root canal work and a crown on one tooth. The rest of my gnashers are fine but this one recidivist little bastard is going to cost me £200. Thank god I managed to sign on as an NHS patient or it would have been over £600. 

I got two two root canal done last year and while both were painful, they were nowhere near as uncomfortable as the the pain I was experiencing before I got them done. So I'd advise you to get it done as soon as you can.

[Dandontdare]

I'm currently wearing a temporary crown till next Saturday - it's a smooth metal affair, but I've got an old metal filling beneath it so when I bite down, I get that horrible 'tinfoil on filling' sensation.

[Devons Daddy]

it is said that tooth ache,back pain and childbirth are the three most painful things the human body can endure.

I agree with the first two, but i feel the 3rd is open to debate.

[COMMANDO FORCES]

I can't believe it!
Since buying that new tumble dryer last week we haven't used the bloody thing due to the weather and the missus puts a wash on timer every night

[Kerrin]

The last bus is too early.

[Roger Godpleton]

That's what you get for not being a shut-in like me.

[vzzbux]

On the subject of dentists I had a check up last week and she seemed to have missed that one of my molars has been chipped.







V

[Tiplodocus]

So I've got my jet pack and a fair copy of the suit that Bond wears at the start of Thunderball for the James Bond Fancy Dress Disco.

The first prize goes to a bloke dressed as Charlie Chaplin (categorically not Odd Job - wrong shape hat).

Anyway, Mrs Tips (making a rather fetching Xenia Onatopp) is chatting to the Judge of the competition later and he says "Yeah, I was going to giuve it to the bloke with the Jet Pack but then I remembered that he won last year".  (In my Terminator costume).

(The chap that sholud have won had a dinner jacket on under wet suit  - just for the sheer deication and sweatiness he put himself through).

[Roger Godpleton]

I tried a pickled egg and it was one of the worst things I have ever had in my mouth. Worse than when I accidentally got poo in there.

[Dark Jimbo]

'Accidentally', Roger? Come on, you're among friends, you can be honest...

[Roger Godpleton]

It was intended for your mom's chest.

[Roger Godpleton]

Weezy is finally in jail. I'll miss you Lil' Wayne.

Also, mum "didn't know" that she shouldn't put bananas in the fridge.

[nev]

I spent a reasonable amount of time doing some last minute homework, only to realise I'd done it weeks ago. I swiftly printed it out.