Last movie watched...

[Orlok]

It's been a busy week in the Orlok household...

Predator
A rescue team (and not assassins) kill about 100 people and are picked off by an alien Jeffrey Dahmer.
Caught bits of this the other night and I forgot how homo-erotic it is in places. Dutch and Dillon obviously had a thing going on in the past and can't resist holding hands there for about a minute. Seriously, it couldn't have been more obvious if this reunion was re-enacted by John Barrowman and Andi Peters doing jazz hands at each other while shrieking.
It's still a good movie but you see it with different eyes once you get past the cheesy one liners, Dillon's [spoiler]extra arm in his death scene[/spoiler] and people running around on fire. My main problem is that I simply cannot watch this without hearing the Predator Rap (http://youtu.be/tpnUP_tWEyc) in my head all the way through.
[spoiler]'Before triggering a timer to set off a bomb, cos they're all bad losers where the predator comes from"[/spoiler]

Best moment? Get to the chopppaaahhhhh! or Hawkin's massive specs. Tie.


Airforce One
Die Hard on a plane.
Harrison Ford is a bad actor. There I said it. He can do Deckard, Indy and Solo and that's it. In every other film I have seen him in he has been utter pants. He's that generation's Keanu Reeves.
This is a terrible, terrible film. Cheesy Americanism, feckless terrorists and utterly ridiculous scenes make this one to be avoided at all costs. The opening speech about the US not putting profit over morality must really have upset the director when the Iraq thing kicked off.
A mere 30 minutes in I was shaking with rage at plot holes, preposterous situations (secret service agents who are worse shots than Stormtroopers) and really bad dialogue.
Gary Oldman does a decent Russian accent (though a mate of mine says the spoken Russian is waaaay off) and tries his best to lift the film, but that is about it for the credibility stakes.

Best moment? The [spoiler]MIGs fire just one missile at the fleeing plane, sportingly let it try countermeasures instead of peppering it with a barrage of air to air death[/spoiler]. Fortunately [spoiler]an F15 is able to fly into a missile to take the hit for the Commander In Chief[/spoiler]. Sniff. No really, it did happen. I saw it.


Kill The Irishman (aka Bulletproof Gangster)
An Irish American takes on the mob.
An intriguing tale of Cleveland hoodlum Danny Greene and his rise to union boss and mob enemy. Some nice set pieces and touches in there and Ray Stevenson does well in the role.
This was interspersed with actual footage of the Cleveland mob war aftermath, which I found more disturbing than the filmed brutality.

Best moment? Christopher Walken fails to drive away safely.


The Taking Of Pelham 123
Scientologist whack job holds a train hostage and attempts to woo a married father of two.
Not a bad update of the original, which still ranks as a fondly remembered classic in my book. By making the heist more about [spoiler]a Wall Street deal than a simple extortion plot[/spoiler] and the character of Garber [spoiler]not so squeaky clean[/spoiler] it was an interesting diversion.
Denzel was good (as usual) and Travolta kept himself in check for once and didn't seem to overact too much. Maybe his Thetans were aligned that day.

Best moment? The sudden realisation that a helicopter is faster than New York traffic. No shit.


X Men Origins Wolverine
Immortal mutant loses memory, girl, shirt.
Entertaining but ridiculous tale of inexplicable shirt loss, forgotten prequel interaction and plot devices so far fetched you'd have to have them air mailed to you. From Pluto.
Things I noticed...
1. A kindly old couple take in a super-powered individual and form a bond with him for the son they lost/never had. I may have read something similar in a comic once.
2. Logan leaves his girlfriend [spoiler]apparently dead in the woods after the obligatory screaming at the sky bit. I suppose it would have been less of a twist at the end had he have buried or cremated her[/spoiler].
3. Wolverine is a cool guy who doesn't look at explosions.

Best moment? Stryker's realisation that the [spoiler]bullets he has been espousing for most of the film won't actually kill Wolverine but will in fact...take away his memories[/spoiler]? Seriously?

12 Rounds
Terrorist gets revenge on the cop who put him away and killed his woman.
The most implausible film I have seen this year, and that takes some doing.
At the end of this film the hero should be facing a multi-million dollar lawsuit for property damage and trauma. He should also pull in a lot of prison time.

Best moment? [spoiler]Helicopter debris failing to land on the hero and his beau[/spoiler].

[Richmond Clements]

Love your reviews, Orlock!

Dillon's [spoiler]extra arm in his death scene[/spoiler]

My understanding is that this is only seen because of the screen ratio on TV screens..?

Aw, I liked it!

And you're allowed to be wrong!

[Steve Green]

Yup, the [spoiler]arm effect is normally matted off when projected, or transferred as a widescreen print.[/spoiler]

1.85 aspect ratio movies are either shot hard matted or open matted for 4:3 TV Broadcast, so you often end up with effects showing up (there's a shot in Gremlins where you can see 2 puppet Gizmos for example)

[SmallBlueThing]

And famously multiple boom mics in Out of Africa, and the rod operating the hero spider's attack at the climax of Arachnophobia.
SBT

[Keef Monkey]

Watched The Expendables last night, it was okay. Does what it sets out to do pretty well, and I was surprised at how pleased I was to see Dolph Lundgren again. I did spend most of the movie feeling disappointed that there wasn't as much action as I'd expected, but then the grand finale was pretty spanking in that regard.

One thing that really stood out was Stallone's face, he appears to have had some work done and has wound up looking oddly like his mum.

[Orlok]

I saw The Expendables on a plane during my last Mordor-UK run and wasn't that impressed. I dunno, I expected a dumb action movie but thought it would be funnier somehow. The much touted scene between the 'big three in the church' failed to live up to the hype. Maybe they will do better with the sequel.

[Keef Monkey]

Yeah there weren't really any laughs to be had, it probably takes itself way too seriously for what it is. Even that scene you mentioned is so forced and so desperate to make you chuckle that it just falls flat sadly. I'll still watch a sequel though, because if nothing else I did genuinely find some thrills in that last chunk of action.

[IAMTHESYSTEM]

Mad Max 2. Still great after 31 years.

[Dr Feeley Good]

Watched Super the other night and really enjoyed it !

[Keef Monkey]

Yup, the [spoiler]arm effect is normally matted off when projected, or transferred as a widescreen print.[/spoiler]

1.85 aspect ratio movies are either shot hard matted or open matted for 4:3 TV Broadcast, so you often end up with effects showing up (there's a shot in Gremlins where you can see 2 puppet Gizmos for example)

I only found out about that stuff when I went to see Forgetting Sarah Marshall and a projectionist error meant mics were moving around all over the place, crew members were standing around at the edge of screen and the actor's 'nudey tights' were always visible. It was mental.

[The Legendary Shark]

The A-Team.

Somebody force-lent me this a month ago and so I thought it was about time to return the thing. I watched it out of politeness, thinking I'd probably give up on it half way through and say "I tried."

So I approached this apparent travesty with no expectations at all. But, bless my soul, it was enormous fun. [spoiler]Flying a tank[/spoiler] was just hilarious and inspired. Sometimes, it's good to be wrong!

[The Enigmatic Dr X]

Been to the DVD shop for the first time in years. I mean years; my membership had expired.

Went for a Blockbuster 5 for £5 deal. Got the following for the next week:

1) Splice
2) The Losers (don't tell the wife it's based on a comic)
3) Repo Men
4) Unthinkable
5) Hot Tub Time Machine

As I handed over my money, I couldn't help but think that I would be better off with Source Code, and that in any event it and the five chosen would all be shite.

Highest hopes are for Splice. The hope is I get to the end. Dark horse could be Hot Tub Time Machine - at least it doesn't pretend to be anything that it isn't.

Reports may follow. If they don't, assume I gave up on them all.

[maryanddavid]

Watched Paul tonight, good amiable fun, a few laughs, not as good as their first two films but still worth a watch.

Source Code, enjoyable film, but I had an idea of what was going on from the [spoiler]time the oxygen went out in the capsule[/spoiler]. Something different, and that is rare for any film, its a cross between Groundhog Day and Inception, kinda.

Limitless, I really enjoyed. Remindes me of 2000ad for some reason, its about a guy who takes a smart pill and the conquences. best thing about the film is the end. You know when you are watching a film and you are thinking 'this is really good, the end better match'! recommended.

David

[TordelBack]

Incredibly this is my Eleventy-Eleventy-First post, and vaguely like Bilbo I had intended to mark it with an indulgent Post of Special Magnificence, possibly replete with remarks about liking half of you half as well as you deserve (but it's generally the bottom half), and possibly even some sub-contracted fireworks from Istari Inc.

However, I just finally watched Watchmen, a film I've been avoiding for about 2 years now, and had more-or-less convinced myslelf I would never watch.  But y'know, working late in front of the TV, too much wine, Malin Ackerman's thighs, and it just sort of slipped in there, so to speak.

Feck me jeebus crust almighty I HATED IT.  And I'm not a man much given to hate.  If ever there was a cast-iron proof that comics and film are not interchangeable media, this appalling waste of time, talent and not a little genius, is it.

The visualisation is almost pure majesty, so many scenes are exquisitely recreated, so much detail is squirrelled in despite the crippling demands of a reasonable running time, some of the performances are fabulously authentic (Jon, Laurie and Rorshach in particular), so much love and care and respect for the source is lavished on every shot... for absolutely no return in my enjoyment.

It's the cinematic equivalent of Frankenstein's monster:  intelligence, inspiration, labour and daring poured into a singular creation, all the right bits acquired and assembled in the right order, a perfect imitation of life, the switch thrown, and see!  It moves!  It lives!  But it's a f**king abomination, destroying everything it touches that actually matters in its relentless efforts to be loved.

Did no-one involved stop to ask themselves even once why there are bloody superheroes in a film of Watchmen?  Not some rather tragic costumed vigilantes and one inhuman freak, but actually f**king superheroes? Superheroes that kill muggers and walk off, for that matter?  Madre de grud, I despair.

Would the absurdity of everyone's superpowered kung fu cool have actually mattered if the film had been less slavishly worshipful of the comic?  I doubt it.  An actual adaptation, rather than a frame by frame recreation, might have been its own enjoyable thing (in fact I thought many of the more elaborate changes to the plot worked reasonably well, whereas some of the visual recreations, particularly the ones involving the smiley, were actually utterly laughable).  Something so close, yet so utterly missing the point, indeed almost all the points, was a soulless disaster.

Anyone who suggests that a big-screen big-budget Dredd movie should look and sound and act exactly like the comic, well, I hope this piece of unnatural foulness pisses in their eyes and sets them straight.

Yes, yes, I know.  I am going.  I am leaving now.  Goodbye.

[HdE]

Wowzah, TordelBack! I can't believe the timing of that post!

I saw Watchmen for the first time a couple of nights ago. now, I've not read the book, as it just never appealed to me. But for £3.00 at Tesco (with beer, sushi and other assorted snackums) I felt like I could afford to indulge some mild curiosity.

And DEAR GOD -- I honestly think it's the worst film I've seen all year. It starts really well, but quickly barrells downhill. Besides Rorschach, I honestly felt nothing for any of the characters, and I found myself thinking at several points 'Uh... what's going on with the narrative here?' Really NOT a fan of the device of 'characters discuss predicament shortly before random outbreak of violence.' 

I did wonder if maybe Watchmen would have made a better TV series than a movie, because it's obvious there's an expansive story there to be told. A 2-hours-plus movie just ain't gonna capture it. I just didn't feel at all involved in what was playing out on my TV.

Also, I've never been so irritated by a performance as I was by the guy who played Ozymandias / Adrian Veidt.