Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments

[House of Usher]

I've got an interview coming up for a teaching job at a university. It's 4 hours a week and pays £76 - that's pro rata of £36,000.

The problem is it's a whole day's work they want done in 4 hours on the cheap. They want the tutor to originate all the course material with no lead-in time for preparation. The amount of time needed for preparation is one good reason to pay teaching staff all year round, but increasingly they are expected to make it up as they go along, doing most of the work at evenings or weekends.

If they were paying for the full day I'd be very keen to do it, but for just £76 it's really not worth my while; I would be better off as a supply teacher.

[Dandontdare]

sounds like the sort of job that's only worth it if you're trying to get your foot in the door and you knew it would lead to better hours in the future. As it stands, if they think that's a good career choice, they're just taking the piss.

[SmallBlueThing]

My wife has bought a glitter ball, and hung it up in our lounge. Not only does this make our front room 21% camper than it was (and it was already pretty damn camp) but i bang my head on it every drokkin' time i walk into the dining room. Every. Time. I apparently have no spacial awareness.

What's worse, is thst from where i sit on the sofa, i keep catching it out of the corner of my eye- where it looks exactly like the lit kitchen window that overlooked us until i hung the crimson satin drape (told you) over our back door. Thus, i keep getting mild panics that the neighbours can see me in my pants.
SBT

[JOE SOAP]

Thus, i keep getting mild panics that the neighbours can see me in my pants.

Would you rather them see you naked?

[worldshown]

Earlier, I found a slow-worm in the garden.

Unfortunately, I found it with the lawnmower. 

And yes, it did the freaky tail wiggle thing.

[Roger Godpleton]

Roger removed the breadbox from the cupboard. Unbeknownst to him, tea granules were propped against this box, foil askew. The cascade was not his idea. But no one else was going to hoover their shame.

A dairy requital sojourn unfurled, where he was presented with a poppy bloomer and its concurrent cascadence irked. He couldn't not pay for it. 25 pence for now, conquest for later?

[vzzbux]

I lost my pet slow-worm today. I couldn't concentrate on looking for little Freddy due to the fact that someone was mowing his lawn.






V

[I, Cosh]

A dairy requital sojourn unfurled, where he was presented with a poppy bloomer and its concurrent cascadence irked. He couldn't not pay for it. 25 pence for now, conquest for later?

How many letters?

[I, Cosh]

Conan the Destroyer isn't a patch on Conan the Barbarian.

[staticgirl]

I am experiencing a very sore throat. I am remedying this with a hot toddy. I shan't care soon.....

[Roger Godpleton]

My right shoulder hurts.

[Peter Wolf]

I hate mornings.

I always have and always will.

And i am waiting for scaffolding to be dropped on one job thats finished and moved to another that i am waiting to start but as usual what i am told will happen and what actually happens are two different things and its always the same when i am relying on others so no doubt this week will be wasted as i will be unable to work due to this problem.

[Roger Godpleton]

That faggy vampire show is the most successful show in the history of HBO.

[Dandontdare]

I work in a call centre and our phone system is merrily cutting everybody off, sometimes after only a couple of seconds, sometimes we get a full minute. As you can guess, after people have phoned back several times, they start to get a little bit pissed off, and we get the flak.

[Roger Godpleton]

The guy in front of me who was wearing a sleeveless vest cleared out the cabinet by ordering six meals for his fucking kids or whatever. After he ordered he went to the Co-op next door whilst they were preparing and they came back with a two litre bottle of Coca-cola because heaven knows the little darlings can't suffer store own-brand. [should this be store-own brand?] The child who he had elected to bring with him had an important question.

CHILD: "You know those long sausages, bigger than the jumbos?"

BRENDA: "Yes?"

CHILD: "Do they cost more?"

I was moved to comment thusly.

ROGER: "Wu...(?(?))"




As I left I witnessed his white van, which he had parked in landscape across 4 bays. It was decorated with Mickey and Minnie and advertised "free delivery". Was he luring kids with the starchiest chips in town and selling them?

I thought back to his vest legend. "FORTIS SCAFFOLDING." For Tolliver, Ignacio and Stephan? My cousin Tolliver? Is scaffolding what they call it nowadays?

Maybe "For Tis' the scaffolding"? Maybe a child is the scaffolding of our society. As abduction was the ephemeral baggage of a white van it occurred to me that I should rescue children from their fucking moronic parents, a notion which received an emergency contextual amendment to taking place in the strictly allegorical rescue that is inferred in the practice of formal education.

That guy was skinny and I was fat. I should have tried to take him.


Right?