Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments

[JOE SOAP]

If you eat lots of blueberries, you get the fibre, plus the added bonus of the blu-poo.

[Richmond Clements]

If you eat lots of blueberries, you get the fibre, plus the added bonus of the blu-poo.

When my second son was born, I did a lot of running back and forth to the hospital for a few days, and in that time had no time to eat anything but bananas.Poo came out in tiny little dry pebbles and required next to no wiping.

[radiator]

You can get edible glitter for cakes and things - apparently if you eat that your poo comes out all glittery.

[Roger Godpleton]

What would you have done if someone had lit a match near you and the elevated potassium content in your blood caused you to explode...






...WHILE YOU WERE HOLDING YOUR INFANT

[COMMANDO FORCES]

Just saw a fox run past the front door, on the other side of the street. Looks like the traps will be out tomorrow!

[Rog69]

You can get edible glitter for cakes and things - apparently if you eat that your poo comes out all glittery.

Over the Christmas period I changed my youngest daughter's nappy only to find that her poo had tinsel in it, it gave the whole proceeding a nice seasonal theme.

[SmallBlueThing]

Because my youngest son smashed my lounge window this morning, necessitating the services of a glazier, and because my wife has fucked off for the day and appears to have taken the laptop with her, for no good reason.
SBT

[Darren Stephens]

Just saw a fox run past the front door, on the other side of the street. Looks like the traps will be out tomorrow!

I saw two of the buggers on the way to work the other morning....in central Portsmouth! 

[mogzilla]

Just saw a fox run past the front door, on the other side of the street. Looks like the traps will be out tomorrow!

hey,when the cats away!

[Rog69]

My wife wants her contraceptive implant taken out and we've hardly used it yet

She wants to have a chat about alternatives later, I'm guessing that she wants me to get my tackle decommissioned  .

[Emp]

Ouch.

[Tiplodocus]

My fingers have lots of tiny little needle pricks in them. I have sewn five buttons back on my rather nice Police jacket.  At first I thought theyd fallen off because I am a fatboy and it was bursting at the seams. But no, just shoddy workmanship on the buttons.

[Van Dom]

Just found out I've been on the wrong tax rate for the last two years - some kind of mix-up between the revenue and the company I work in - which essentially means I havent been paying enough tax since 2009 and am now about to get shit on from a great height. In the seven weeks of this year alone I already owe 300 quid........christ almighty.

[TordelBack]

Just found out I've been on the wrong tax rate for the last two years - some kind of mix-up between the revenue and the company I work in - which essentially means I havent been paying enough tax since 2009 and am now about to get shit on from a great height. In the seven weeks of this year alone I already owe 300 quid........christ almighty.

That is a f'ing ghastly situation.  Our company totally cocked up tax for one of our staff last year (entered the wrong credits into the payroll system), but mercifully I caught it while doing  the end of year accounts, so we were able to pay up on her account and let her pay the difference back to us as an interest-free loan over the coming year.  It came to nearly €2K.  

I am however a bit amazed that that this problem could extend over multiple years, since your employer would be sent new tax credit details by the Revenue each January, which means multiple SNAFUs.  From our experience I know the Revenue is utterly uncaring ("it's your responsibility to ensure your own tax is correct", blah blah blah), but your employer should accept some responsibility and extend you some flexibility.  Maybe you could see if the company could do something similar to our loan plan to help spread the pain?    

[EddieHitler]

Life is riddled with tossers who when using the computer in the library think that we can not hear their crappy music leaking out from their crappy headphones and then take great offence when this is pointed out to them!

May they all die a terrible death!

I feel better now