Sometimes, I'll be walking along. Quite happy, minding my own business. Maybe stopping to smell the odd flower whilst I feel the warm sun on my smiling little face. And then, for no reason at all, I'll remember something humiliating - probably as far back to my teenage years - and stop, assume the fetal position where I'm standing - cradling my face in my hands - and shout something along the lines of "ARRRRGHHH!!!!"
It can strike anytime. Even when I'm in the company of a friend. I'll just do it, they'll ask me what's the matter and I'll try and explain... but not be able to get halfway through the sentence without exclaiming "ARRRRGHHH!!!!" again.
Does anyone else suffer from this debilitating condition?
No. Especially not after a night on the sauce.
Not to the crippling and outwardly visible extent you describe, but I assume being blindsided by the memory of a time you acted badly or did something you regret is a common and semi-regular feature of human consciousness. Books are usually a good way of understanding what goes on in other people's heads and why they behave the way they do - and there's no better guarantee of becoming a fan of an author's work than coming across an aspect of human behaviour in their work that you thought was unique to yourself - but I'm not sure I've ever read a description of that phenomenon in print.
Most folk will be familiar with the way every setback you've experienced and everything that causes you feelings of guilt sneak up on you when you're lying in the dark, waiting for sleep to come. I used to get that all the time as a teenager, but I'm out as soon as my head hits the pillow nowadays. Oblivion or getting out of your own too-thin skin seems to be the most practical solution, and the Doc's prescription might illustrate how others cope with similar problems. See also, apparently random street violence against innocent strangers. I don't recommend either, but immersion in some activity which absorbs excess physical and mental energy seems like a good idea.
Yes, every day and every night. And of course every day I just add more and more entires to my library of shame.
Dose this smell really trigger this behaviour? Or were you just being poetic?
That seems a silly question but smell is subconsciously more powerful than you think.
Quotethen, for no reason at all, I'll remember something humiliating - probably as far back to my teenage years - and stop, assume the fetal position where I'm standing - cradling my face in my hands - and shout something along the lines of "ARRRRGHHH!!!!"
Yes. I shared a hostel room with a friend recently who thought I was having night terrors. I wasn't - I was only half asleep, and remembering times when I was drunk, taking dodgy chemicals, with a lady or a combination of all three (especially the first and third).
The only consolation is that if you don't have
any embarrassing memories you're probably an egotistical and arrogant gobshite. Or a complete sociopath.
OI, some of us haven't had the opportunity to gain embarrassing memories....
I refuse to say what my most embaressing memory is but the Police I felt we're definitely in the wrong.... :-[
Why were you feeling the police in the first place? ;)
AAARRGGHHH! no, NO! I'm stronger, better person now and that's all I have to say on the matter.
I don't curl up in a fetal position when they strike, but yes it happens on occasion. I actually created a whole new embarrassing memory just yesterday in fact.
I was invited to attend a wedding, so one of my work colleagues offered to give me a lift since she lives near me. Anyway rather than her going out of her way to come to my home we decided to meet nearby. Anyway there I was with my eyes peeled looking for a black lady in a blue car, and I saw one stop some way back in the traffic line near the junction. She even raised her hand and waved! So I trotted up to the car...
I think you can guess the rest. Thank goodness I made sure I had a good look to make sure it was her before opening the door and entering, or the memory would be 10 times cringe-worthy but I got close enough for her to notice me and frown at me with a puzzled "who the smeg are you?" expression. (Incidental why did she wave, I wonder? Was she waving to someone else or did she coincidentally mistake me for someone else as well?)
"Sorry, wrong person!" I blurted, then ran away up the street.. (Not "sorry I thought you were someone else". "Wrong person." What a dough nut.)
Probably pretty minor embarrassment in the scheme of things but I'm pretty shy and thus easily embarrassed. At least I didn't actually get in the car. An aunt of mine actually did that thinking it was her husband's car of all things.
Quote from: ChickenStu on 30 June, 2013, 12:03:14 AM
Does anyone else suffer from this debilitating condition?
Once, getting a blow job off a lass, i broke wind. Looking back on it now, i kinda smile at the whole thing.
Hope that helps.
Quote from: Judge Jack on 30 June, 2013, 05:03:26 PM
Quote from: ChickenStu on 30 June, 2013, 12:03:14 AM
Does anyone else suffer from this debilitating condition?
Once, getting a blow job off a lass, i broke wind. Looking back on it now, i kinda smile at the whole thing.
Hope that helps.
Bloody hell,
JJ! I've just had a coughing fit laughing at that. My 9 year old wants to know what's so funny :lol:
Right,
Mardroid. As a person in the past who suffered from anxiety attacks (mainly as a teenager and mainly involving exams) I can sympathise with this. I get these little episodes sometimes. I'll clench a fist and grit my teeth or get butterflies in the belly. It passes. The trick is to push them straight out of your mind the moment they strike. Have a 2 second cringe, but then focus on thinking about something else. Something happy or just plain ordinary (what's for dinner is a classic!). If you let the memory play out, or take hold, it's much worse!
You won't be able to do it straight away, but practice it and it gets better... You'll soon have it down to a couple of seconds...
Hope that helps...
My whole life is spent in an only-vaguely-metaphorical foetal position of embarrassment as ChickenStu describes, a perpetual cringe awaiting blows that have already fallen. Even with this high background level of regret, I've been known to pound my forehead with my fist as some particular lowlight of my past comes swimming past the porthole. Despite my generally monogamous existence, a surprising number of these moments seem to involve women of my affections. The rest are evenly broken down between mind-numbingly stupid financial decisions, and times when I've gone along with a group decision that I knew to be wrong rather than causing a fuss. And no, I am not Weimar Germany.
Every so often a chill runs down my spine when I recall signing up to an online forum devoted to the fetishisation of a once popular science fiction anthology comic.
Quote from: SimeonB on 30 June, 2013, 05:34:08 PM
Right, Mardroid. As a person in the past who suffered from anxiety attacks (mainly as a teenager and mainly involving exams) I can sympathise with this. I get these little episodes sometimes. I'll clench a fist and grit my teeth or get butterflies in the belly. It passes. The trick is to push them straight out of your mind the moment they strike. Have a 2 second cringe, but then focus on thinking about something else. Something happy or just plain ordinary (what's for dinner is a classic!). If you let the memory play out, or take hold, it's much worse.
Thanks for the kind words but it's not that big a deal. I felt really embarrassed at the time and strongly considered texting my friend to tell her I wouldn't make it just on the off chance I made the same mistake again before she turned up (I didn't) but on remembering I also had something important to give her I stuck it out, and then pretty much forgot about it after I was in the correct car 10 minutes . (Remembering again when I saw thread).
All considered it was an easy mistake to make and I doubt the memory will traumatise me that much. My mind does this thing though where I imagine if things had happened differently, if I'd actually opened the door and sat in the car, and etc... like I get some perverse thrill in torturing myself... I but no, I'm better dealing with these things now. I have done other things even more embarrassing because they were downright stupid when younger. They used to bother me a lot (and still make me groan inside) but not nearly as much as they used to. If anything the experiences could be positive as they make me more careful. Until the next time I drop my guard anyway. ;)
You could always go to www.fmylife.com (http://www.fmylife.com) and laugh at everybody else's embarrassing situations if it helps....
I've learned to take comfort and find confidence (particularly in social situations) by realising that everyone else there is as embarrassed, insecure and generally messed-up as I am. They may not have my own particular faults (occasional bouts of crippling depression; lack of assertivity; fear of commitment; other shit too numerous to mention) but they're definitely dealing with something just as bad. If they're drunk, they're trying even harder to hide it.
Anyway I used to think that everyone else was fine and dandy and it was just me who was a mess; life is much easier now I know it's not.
Everything Toddle Back says applies here too, the ablity to snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory is a constant source of :-[
I'm with Mr Christ on this - there is no such thing as normal. It's a scientific nonsense. Everyone, in some way, is dealing with something. Once you realise this, it's really quite liberating...
If it's any help, I just accidentally wandered into the ladies' toilets. It's a symmetrical corridor and I came up the "opposite" staircase to my usual one on auto-pilot. I re-emerged red-faced after a couple of seconds of confusedly wondering where the urinals had gone, to find several of my esteemed colleagues sniggering outside.
Whatever faux pas you committed, at least you're not the new office pervert.
Oh god, this happens to me ALL THE TIME!
My flashbacks are so brutal and vicious I visibly flinch and pull an agonised face. Once it was so bad my operations manager halted a meeting because she was convinced I had been struck by some debiliating and painful physical condition. My refusal to explain why I had pulled that face didn't help, but eventually convinced her I was fine and everyone could continue.
That event has actually been added to my list of agonising flashbacks. So my agonising flashbacks are creating more agonising flashbacks! They're breeding! There's no bloody end to it! :lol:
Age is the answer. I use to think about embarrassing things that I'd done but now that I'm a lot nearer the end than the beginning, I really don't give a toss,...... life's far too short!!
Quote from: Old Tankie on 03 July, 2013, 10:31:50 PM
Age is the answer. I use to think about embarrassing things that I'd done but now that I'm a lot nearer the end than the beginning, I really don't give a toss,...... life's far too short!!
Have you considered elective brain surgery? I've heard it's very good...
No! Why? Have you?!!
Sometimes.... sometimes...