I had an awful feeling that might have been the case. Not to turn attention away from this, but my brother killed himself coming up to two years ago, like this, out of the blue. There was a huge number of people at his funeral and any one of them would have helped him through, would have listened.
It always sounds trite, but I'll echo what has been said already - if you can talk people will listen and try to understand, and help. If you can't talk to someone just realise it's important you're here, you're better than most others. Look at the shit you've survived already.