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Does anyone watch this?

It came to my attention when it was on Charlie Brooker's 'You Have Been Watching' when they featured the IRA Vs. The Taliban episode. It's in its 2nd series now and still good fun - the Waffen SS fighting the Viet Cong was great stuff.

Basically the show is a 'What If' where they pitch two historical warriors against each other using lab conditions to test the weapons and blow shit up. At the end they have a simulation where they square off to the grisly death.

It is a bit science lite but it's great fun and there is genuine glee from the ER surgeon when a face gets ripped off a gel torso. Good match ups have included Pirate Vs Knight, Somali Pirates Vs Medellín Cartel and Jesse James Vs Al Capone. There was also a Season 1 'Back for Blood' Special when the IRA got a Champions League play off against the Russian Spetznaz.

You can find most episodes on line and I think it is also on Virgin 1. Well worth a look if you like a gore and learning about shit covered sticks in the jungle.

Nice Lilly Mackenzie cover although I hope it doesn't encorage any yoofs to look in - we don't want their kind here.

Not read much yet but a lush Dredd with Dylan Teague art, a colourful Black Museum and a Mean Machine filled bonus book.

Thankfully there is no Tom Prodfoot letter blemishing Dreddlines, mainly due to one insightful and sensitive reader taking up the whole third column. Lovely.

Aaarrgggh there'a Proudfoot!

Si Spurrier back on Dredd  and a Graveyard Shift Lost Case - more to follow when I've finished flushing the Dreddlines!

Nice Doherty Dredd cover but not so sure about those blurry dogs.

Funny Dredd about the world of niche porn and a Lost case about The Robot Wars.

Alas Tank Girl returns despite a kicking from one and all on the letters page, especially one wordsmith who takes a lead over his hapless Edinburgher challenger.

Hurrah a shiny new Megazine with a lovely letters page and a most welcome Complete Nemesis. Only drawback is that Tom Proudfoot got some of his dazed ramblings in too.

Some cracking wolfie action in the lead Dredd and the best Lost case so far.

Oh and someone asks for 'Creep' to reprinted - I thought that had been sealed in concrete and chucked into the Atlantic?

While I was at the cinema today being mostly disappointed by 'The Road' I was wondering how many definite article films I could see and blog. Having seen all 250 IMDb films and over 160 starting with a 'W' I thought  this could waste a few hours until death finally grants its merciful release (well it was a bit bleak).

Looking through my DVDs and my cinema diary (yes, I know) I could only muster about 60. Can anyone come up with any more without trawling the depths for some 1920's thing no one ever saw and can't get now anyway?

The arbitary rules are it must only have a two word title, the first of which must be 'THE'. I thought of allowing stuff like 'An Education' but then you go down the messy indefinite article route and no one wants that (again). Also no sequels and no Ryan Reynolds.

I came up with :

THE ROAD
THE BITCH
THE INSIDER
THE ESCAPIST
THE PROPOSITION
THE GODFATHER
THE JACKAL
THE CROW
THE FORGOTTEN
THE ILLUSIONIST
THE INTERNATIONAL
THE GAME
THE TRANSPORTER
THE KILLING
THE SKULLS
THE EDGE
THE STUD
THE NET
THE ORPHANAGE
THE VANISHING
THE JACKET
THE BOX
THE RECRUIT
THE WOLFMAN
THE KID
THE MEDALLION
THE DREAMERS
THE MISSING
THE SPECIALIST
THE GENERAL
THE CORE
THE FIRM
THE GRIFTERS
THE KINGDOM
THE ACTORS
THE MOTHER
THE COOLER
THE VILLAGE
THE TERMINAL
THE INCREDIBLES
THE INTERPRETER
THE PACIFIER
THE ISLAND
THE CAVE
THE MAN
THE PRODUCERS
THE MATADOR
THE RINGER
THE OMEN
THE QUEEN
THE HOST
THE PRESTIGE
THE HOLIDAY
THE FOUNTAIN
THE HOAX
THE ROCKER
THE MACHINIST
THE CONVERSATION
THE CRAFT
THE FLY
THE HAPPENING

If we can get 100 it's a goer if not it's a total waste of time. Well obviously.

Anyone here seen The Tournament?

I just did and really enjoyed it.

The premise is a lot like Buttonman 3 in that a bunch of rich gamblers meet in a high tech room to watch 30 assassins decend on a small town (this year it's Middlesborough!) and kick the crap out of each other. The last man standing wins $10 million and they all have trackers and bombs inside them.

For an essentially British film it looks pretty well funded with Robert Carlyle playing a drunk priest caught up in the carnage and Ving Rhames as the returning champion.

It's played tongue in cheek with some cracking kills and explosions. The Buttonman theme extends right down to a character who takes fingers from his victims. According to IMDb it failed to get a distributor which may be a blessing for those of us awaiting a Buttonman film.

If you like mad shoot outs in a northern titty bar The Tournament may be just what you are looking for.

We love'em all of course but there are tried and tested plot devices that appear with a regularness that could coat them with the cliche tag.here's two from this week's publications..

1) Any hell Trek ever encountered will get attacked. No exceptions. I hope they got the Aviva deal.

2) When Dredd visits any out post, remote facility or small town there will be secrets and scheming, I'll be bound. In fact it would be a surprise if he has a restful night and bikes off refreshed in the morning.

How many can you spot kids?

No strapline this week but that D'Israeli cover is a cracker - year's best for me.

Munching my way through the thrills but will comment later lest the thread gets stolen from under me.

This popped up during a break in the baseball and, to me at least, had fallen beneath the radar until now. I'm not a fan of the subject but the trailer looks aces! Best Eiffel Tower destruction since Team America and it's got Dr Who calling the shots. A winner or just another fancy trailer?

GI JOE IN JULY

Anyone tried this site :

//http://omegle.com/

They let you chat with a random stranger with predictable consequences. Here's my debut effort:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Girraffe
You: good afternoon
You: having a good day?
Stranger: My car, she break, YOU FIX!!!!!
Stranger: GIMMEE SPARKPLUG!!!!!!
You: could do you an alternator?
You: gap those sparks
Stranger: YOU COME ONTO MY PROPERTY AND KICK MY DOG!!!!!
You: at least i fed it first
Stranger: THIS IS CLAPHAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: up the junction
You: 3 6 9 the goose drank wine
Stranger: You dont know my endz bruv!
You: split?
Stranger: No, pussy, and covered in boils.
You: just how I like it - throw in some ky jelly and we have a deal
Stranger: THE MAN FROM DELMONTE HE SAY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: white suited twat
Stranger: Uncle Ben doesn't know the fish are crapping on his rice, do you have the cahones to tell him????
You: better go and put the cat out - the house is filling with smoke
You have disconnected.

Clearly this chap was a mentalist but there may be good people out there and possibly women. Great kudos for the first conversation about Dredd that doesn't reference the movie!

With anticipation regarding my 'Weakest Link' airing tomorrow reaching the frenzy point I thought I better start a dedicated thread lest Bish-op's goes into meltdown.

It's been a whirlwind of press confrences and media junkets with me having barely 23.5 hours a day to compose myself. Well OK it only made the Paisley Daily Express but look at the coverage - a two article deal, most of page 3 (those 'Thieves target church service' folk must be seething!) and a teaser on the front page no less! The journalism is Woodward and Bernstein class with the copy containing fewer that three errors!

I know you'll all be rushing to Renfrewshire to get your 42p copy but by way of a taster here's the gold...





If anyone has any supermarkets they want opening I'm like totally available.

I know there are a few space fans out there and wondered if you'd seen this video? I'm not a big fan of conspiracy therories but the evidence demonstrated here is pretty damning. You've got to wonder why they'd bother - no doubt the powers that be in the US and Russia know it's a lot of pish.

If this is revealed to be an elaborate hoax I knew all along and just wanted to reel some suckers in!

Waste of Space

Just a quickie to secure the prog thread. Nice Cliff Alpha cover and  bit of Basil in Dredd at last. No letters, that is all.

[5th FROST/NIXON :]

With a viewing of 'Milk' this morning (which was curiously populated with single men!) I've now seen all the nominees for the Best Picture Oscar. Happily 'Revolution Road' didn't make the cut as I never saw it in New York and it's not out until January 30th here. Looks like a couple fighting a lot - a great night out. The Oscars are awarded on 22nd February so you've plenty of time to catch up, although Ben Button (6th Feb) isn't out yet and Frost/Nixon (23rd Jan) is just out today. My thoughts and rankings are below - pile in your own informed/uninformed rants below! Minor Spoilers Follow!

5th FROST/NIXON : All of the films are enjoyable but this is the bottom of the heap for me simply because it plays fast and loose with the truth. I know director Ron Howard has argued that it isn't a documentary but when it's recent history you can't expect credibility when you make up all the good bits. I also didn't like the fact that they made Frost out to be a foppish playboy when he'd already amassed impressive credentials by the time of the interviews. It also omitted the fact that the two had met previously and when played along side the actual interviews you can see how many liberties they have taken. I did enjoy the film and I think Frank Langella has a good shout for the acting gong for his Nixon, although at times it comes close to caricature.

4th THE READER : Kate Winslet has her knockers...you know the rest! I liked this film but not as much as I thought I would given that Kate was giving it her all and there were Nazis involved. In truth you never see any of her alleged crimes which are recounted in a court room. Her character wasn't that well defined and I wasn't sure if her lack of education led to her blindly obeying orders or she was a bitch who couldn't be bothered to learn. The sex scenes were modestly done with more of the bloke on show than the lovely, but starting to sag slightly, Kate. I liked the non-linear narrative which jumped all over the place with Ralph's polo neck the main time stamp. Ralph Fiennes was OK but in a pretty under whelming role - look at his turn in 'Shindler's List' and you can see what we're missing out on here.

3rd MILK : I enjoyed this bio-pic of the first openly gay elected public official Harvey Milk, and Sean Penn's performance was certainly fully committed with a lot of open mouth kisses with Harry Osborne. I liked how they mixed archive footage with the film and the sets and costumes were spot on. I think the full on content will alienate some people and a few did leave my screening. I wasn't convinced of Josh Brolin's character arc and got the impression the film was a bit biased against 'the man'. That said the factual content was shocking with the hate and prejudice which was occurring just 30 years ago almost unbelievable.

2nd  SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE : This is the favourite and has all the momentum and it is a really enjoyable film. It's not my favourite however and in truth I'm wondering where all the love has come from. It is a well made film with a clever narrative device and some cracking performances but after so much hype I was expecting a little bit more. If you caught it on Film4 you'd think you've won a watch, but the best film of 2008? Not for me. Some scenes, such as the baddie creating more pathetic beggars with a hot knife, were horrible and the scenery was stunning; but overall I thought it a bit predictable with a non convincing love story at the centre. Still miles ahead of most and I hope it wins for Danny Boyle, who has a cracking CV.

1st  THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON : This has Oscar winner all over it and I'm surprised it isn't the favourite. On the downside it is 166 minutes long but after that it's all pluses from the exceptional make up to the cracking evocations of the last century. Like 'Slumdog' the whole enterprise is hung on a love story, but this one between Brad and Cate is far better and the only one of the two that got my wife bubbling. The newly born Button was a cracking hunched old man and the make up as he gets to Brad's age and younger were amazing. The book was written in 1921 but the writer did the right thing in making it more contemporary with World war 2 and Hurricane Katrina making appearances. At the end you do feel you've been on a journey and it's all rather sad, but given the life he's had it hard to say why! A real gem and given the amount of Hollywood professionals (and Academy voters!) who worked on it I can see it being a worthy, surprise winner.

News that the BBC are to remake The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin with ,gasp, Martin Clunes as Reggie. Sounds like a fast plane to Dullsville, Arizona. Bit of a cock up on the comedy front and I didn't get where I am today by known a crappy remake when I see one.

30 years late, failed remake at TV centre

['Lettersentertainyou']

Hello and welcome to the 'Writing to Tharg' thread for 2009. Or the 'Lettersentertainyou' thread as most people call it , we know we do. Start with a Partrigism as you mean to go on. Anyway with 271 posts and 3750 reads, a run only halted when PeterWolf showed up, Writing to Tharg 2008 was an unqualified success, unless you qualify success by money, status or sex. The crowning achievement was the second place laurels in the 'Favourite Thread' vote trumped only by some guy failing to get some brown.

This year will be bigger and better and by that we mean no prizes and probably fewer posts as we're not writing as many this year. This year's contest will be a straight forward bun fight with the Letter of the Week scoring 5 points and all other reader input entries 3 points. Points may be awarded or deducted as we see fit or to enhance our own state. It's all we've got for goodness sake!

The year kicks off in fine style with letters in both publications , both on the inside back page - we likeee.
We get underway with Prog 1617  which offers a puny two letters. Not that we're complaining mind, we had it down for a blank for sure. The page is shared with an advert for a 'Resident Evil' film that we've seen and frankly didn't enjoy. It was like 90 minutes of cut scenes and no action - where's the fun in that?!

The first Letter of the Week  honours go to Ken Langfield of Brighton who also secured the top spot in Prog 1470. He has a total of four, split evenly between the Prog and Meg, and made his opening appearance in Meg 213 back in 2003.He starts poorly with the opening sentence beginning with 'Just'. Just a minute shurly shome mistoke? Ken then sifts his way through the Prog offering praise to each nugget he unearths, even those best left buried in cement. It's a bit long and offers no insights apart from 'he's easy pleased'.  He closes with a description of  Tharg's offering as "an emission". Eh? Emission as in "the act of giving out heat, light, a smell, etc." We think Barbie's dictionary got lost by Santa!

Second and last this Prog is old face Floyd Kermode of Oz who celebrates his 80th letter this issue. Floyd leads the chasing pack by 18 and looks set to be the first letters centurion. He holds 6 Letter of the week crowns and enjoys an imbalanced Prog to Meg ratio of 52/28.

His offering here is decent stuff with an amusing preamble which includes references to the letters page which always scores points with us. He then goes on to assist fellow scribe Tom Cotton by explaining he can't work stuff out too. Never mind at least it's got purty pictures and some puns.

Next up is MEGAZINE 280 and its bumper crop of five epistles covering the full inside back page.

We lead of with Willem Porter of Northampton who makes his first showing here. He is the first Willem ever to see print and first Porter since Thomas in Prog 684. Despite its place in comics lore this is the first Megazine letter ever from Northampton and only that fine town's tenth letter ever. Willem's letter is a right old wet blanket, spreading moans and disquiet with every word. We all like a bit of feedback but change the record. The format is now established so these moans seem somewhat pointless. Yes it's a big fiver, but it's cheaper than a packet of fags and less likely to make you stink. We do like Willem's penchant for stats and if he wishes to send a few percentages this way, we'd love to get them.

We go Dutch next with Stephen Holland of Nottingham. Stephen is another first timer and the fourth Holland to see print. Graham, Devlin and Suzy all languish on one so Stephen could soon take the crown. There have been two letters from the country of Holland, one from David 'Numberwang' Mitchell and another from Robert Smit. We won't dwell on Stephen's letter as it's a blatant plug for his shop. BUY PIES! We don't condone pimping 'round these parts but at least he dressed it up with some wired tale that was not that weird, given the state of the post office these days. I thank you.

Middle letter laurels go to Liam Farrell who produces a tiddler to secure his second score following a Prog 1521 debut. We won't spend any longer analysing Liam's letter than we wrote writing it, so that's all for him then! It does seems likely that Liam is printed under some equal rights mental health legislation as there can be no other reason for stating that you liked the comic shop characters article.

Next to last is Scott Ferguson who is still dining out on his 15th = position in the 2008 contest with his mighty two. Scott has 16 letters in total including the Letter of the week in Prog 1444. He has 9/7 Prog to Meg ratio. Scott's letter is OK stuff but lacking the teeth of previous offerings. Here he likes most stuff and admits he had to have the price increase spelled out for him - too much cash these East Kilbriders!

We finish off  with Kevin Barry a man with two first names an a letters career that slipped the notice of our regular data processing man. Kevin has a fine 11 letters a feat that earns him the 'BBB' search on the Beast. The reason he was overlooked is that his career halted just before the Beast came online with his last showing in Prog 1478 in 2006. He first shined in Meg 224 in 1998 and enjoyed a Letter of the week award in Prog 1203. It's good he came back to the fold as he manages the longest letter of the week and makes some decent points. He does wish that he could get a stiff one and we leave readers to insert their own jokes here. :............................ (Sid James laugh optional)

So there we have it, another year of excitement looming large. Get them in folks, you can win - prestige and a place on the year end chart. Well worth a few e-mails - use it or lose it creeps!

Happy 2009 to the board and yours.

Me and the wife are hunkered down watching Jools Holland and attacking the 3rd bottle of red. So much more fun than those wet nights in George Square where a few kisses meant a long trek home to Dennistoun.

Anyway, with the year ahead streching forth does anyone want to share their resolutions?

I normally post a few on the blog but for a greater audience I'll list 3. If we all do the same we can reconvene in a year and decide who failed by the largest margin?

1) Lose 2 stone. Hovering about 15.5 stone, the chart says I should be 12.5. I''ll settle for 1 stone more.

2) Get 10 letters published by The House of Tharg. Predictable I know but a pull back from 2008's onslaught. Hopefully Floyd will stay in hibernation and I can chip away at his massive 78.

3) Succeed with my latest madcap scheme, details of which will follow.

Have a good one, all.

In the second half of last night's 'The IT Crowd' Roy (the Irish one) was wearing a Savage 'Laugh this off Twinkletoes' t-shirt.

The episode was above par too but that's not saying much given the generally poor standard of recent offerings.

To summarise : Tooth teev on TV.

Here's a small curio for all you completists out there - looking your way Commando!

I recently bought all 52 1981 issues of 'Roy of the Rover's off eBay on a nostalgia kick and am having a rare old time remembering all the fun of 'Tommy's Troubles' and the dullness of 'The Kid From Argentina' - strangely missing come 1982!

Anyway to business. Set the scene 'The Hard Man's Johnny Dexter has just won the League One championship. Arrogant manager Victor Boskovic says his time will win any league in the universe and someone should tell that 'green thing' who edits 2000ad. Cut to the Nerve Centre...



Apolgies if this has been seen before - I got a genuine thrill on this progless Saturday. As the scans have to be shrunk to fit the space I'll give you Tharg's dialogue:

"This is definitely not zarjaz! Earthlet Boskovic deserves a rigelian hotshot for such insolence!"

After the floodlight falls, narrowly missing Boskovic, Tharg wittily closes with:

"That'll teach the overweight upstart"

Strange strip all round with Roy Race, the board of IPC and the artist who draws the strip all offering their congtratualtions.