Stupid things people have actually said to you.

[Tombo]

Heard just now, not to me but to her six year old who has learnt, from somewhere, the phrase "fuck you".

"Stop swearing or I'll clout you, you little fucking shit"

[Colin Zeal]

My sister and I were looking after our young nephew once when she asked "is it ok if i let him suck on this battery?" I should point out that my sister is a teacher.

[TordelBack]

Not said to me, but too good to pass over, from a University History exam script marked by a friend of a friend only last week - a fine example of someone who attended the lectures but didn't do the reading:

"The Penal Laws were largely the result of a Protestant fear of pot pourri."

[Emp]

Not said to me, but too good to pass over, from a University History exam script marked by a friend of a friend only last week - a fine example of someone who attended the lectures but didn't do the reading:

"The Penal Laws were largely the result of a Protestant fear of pot pourri."

but smells so good!

[Goaty]

"So you're deaf, so can you hear?"

Every day...

[Sideshow Bob]

True story ( but I wish it wasn't ) ....Heard one day at my work....

A guy who stammered was asked...." Do you stammer all the time, or is it just when you speak " ?? !!!.....

I mean, seriously WTF !!....

[A.Cow]

"So you're deaf, so can you hear?"
Every day...

To be fair, I've known a few people who describe themselves as deaf but have partial hearing (in sections of the audio spectrum; couldn't hear speech clearly but they could recognise a phone ringing).

[opaque]

And people medically registered as blind can have some sight as well.
Still a generally stupid thing to say though isn't it.

[Definitely Not Mister Pops]

And people medically registered as blind can have some sight as well.
Still a generally stupid thing to say though isn't it.

Michele Navarra was a doctor in Sicily, also a part of the Cosa Nostra and also known as 'The First Godfather' (being the local doctor, he was also the prime candidate for Godfatherhood). He used to rig elections by using his position as a doctor to declare any opposition medically blind, so that the nurses on his payroll could cast votes in their place.

[The Doctor Alt 8]

When looking at the snaps I'd taken of my drama groups dress rehusal... "Why aren't there any pictures of  you?"
Followed by... "Who took a photograph of you while you were taking photos?"
answer " Me."

Mother "No... Who was it who photographed you while you were taking a photograph of them?"

answer. " I told you. Me... I used a mirror."

[House of Usher]

Not so much stupid as baffled due to old age. A well-spoken old lady came in the hardware shop for a natter and a sit down while she tried to remember what she came in for. She went on about immigration and the importance of the English language and how it has changed over time, talking to me and the shopkeeper.

Old Lady: "Well, of course, it was Chaucer, you see, whose writing had the greatest effect on standardizing the English language."

Me: "It's funny you should say that, because I have an exam on Chaucer next Thursday."

Old Lady: "Really? What's the book?"

Me: "The Wife of Bath's Tale."

Old Lady: "I don't know that one."

Me: "It's from Canterbury Tales."

Old lady: "I haven't heard of it. I expect it must be very good though."

[Spikes]

Caught this story in the papers the other day...

[Emp]

ATOS are a shower of useless twats....trust me, i have to deal with the fucktards. A prime example being they asked a 50 year old spark who broke his arm if he couldn't find some other work while his arm mended.

[House of Usher]

Arse scratcher?

[Emp]

His or someone elses? Theres checks to be done ,,,,