Life Spugs because...

[I, Cosh]

...spaceboy,I miss you!

[Mardroid]

...spaceboy,I miss you!

Coincidentally, I recently finished The Romanov Dynasty and I saw his artwork in here. In a particularly saucy strip...

[COMMANDO FORCES]

This afternoon we had a visit from the landlady of next door and as soon as she started yapping I knew what she was up to. The bloody fence 

She was all nice asking how her new Dole bods are (she was still smiling when I said they made quite a bit of noise till 03:00 the first night they moved in, so she wasn't even listening to me) and then she mentioned that she thought that the fence between the two properties was ours and even before I could answer, she said she had been on to her solicitor (Fucking hell) and he said that in terraced houses the left fence belongs to the property! I just let her go on as she was trying to be all clever and the likes and that she just wanted it sorted out.

I then started on a polite tirade about who owns which fence and that my deeds to my frigging house say we own the right fence, which I paid for and built over 17 years ago. Also why, if she didn't own the left fence, did she give the previous cretins permission to build the Berlin Wall and in such a crap way and only 1/3rd of the way down the garden (it's about 90ft). The rest of the (so-called) fence is a crap chain link type effort which was destroyed by their friggin' zoo.

She then, when I went down the cellar to get the deeds, started to say to Carolyn that our chickens had been next door. I binned getting the deeds and came straight back up and had to put her right. I told the posh cow that I think you will find that it was the animals from your property that came into our garden numerous times and not the other way round, so get your facts right. With this I said I'm not bothering to get my deeds as you can now go and ask Ken and Pat (the neighbours on the other side) who owns the fence as they have been here over 60 years and they told us all this years ago anyway and I just can't be arsed getting me deeds now, as I know what you are up to. You don't want to pay for a new fence, well tough as you will be and you probably thought we are as simple as the people you rent your property out to and that we'd just cough up for a new fence.

With that I showed her out and then had to show Carolyn the deeds to calm her down as she was furious about her and just needed to see the deeds to satisfy herself. I also went onto the garden law site and showed her that the bitch was full of crap, very informative site and I learned quite a lot from it and it was all good. I also went round Ken and Pat's just to verify the layout and they backed me up.

I then rang the bitch up and told her the good news, to which she replied that she would just get her solicitor to check. I butted straight in and said why do you need to do that, you told us earlier that your solicitor had said all terraced houses own the left hand fence, UNFUCKINGLUCKY! Her bluff was called 

I now await round two 

[SuperSurfer]

Just goes to show it's not just us flat dwellers who are subject to crapola.

Pales into insignificance compared to the issues that DDD and King Trout are dealing with, but:

Woke up Thursday around 5am with excrutiating pain in my ankle. Felt like someone had given me a right working over and had to take Neurofen about 6am to get back to sleep. Come Thursday afternoon it started swelling up and I almost went to A&E thinking it could be an insect bite. Decided to call NHS Direct and they said it sounds like a sprain. I explained that I do karate and my last lesson was over 24 hours before this pain and even longer before the swelling. Apparently swelling can start after 24 hours. I was totally baffled. I could only put this down to me perhaps sleepwalking and taking a knock (not ruling that one out) or voodoo. Mind you at karate one of the other black belts asked us to kick a rock hard canvas bag which we normally only punch, so guess it must've been that. At the moment though I got meself a right Elephant leg.

[Trout]

Hi, all. Thanks for the thoughts. Have now had it confirmed that we were right.

I'm doing my best with it. We all are.

- Trout

[Roger Godpleton]

Fucken' Bobsy Twins stole my lemonade...

[Roger Godpleton]

Imperial Leather shower gel is just not good shower gel.

I wanted it to be good so badly but it's bland, derivative and does not offer adequate coverage. I have to establish both hair conurbations as lather-bases and that's never something I want to do.

Plus the awkwardly contoured bottle means that it cannot, in any way, be a functioning Proxy Finger in Triple Swearing.

[Mardroid]

I just tried applying for Royal Mail Christmas work and their application website isn't working properly. Grrr.

I'm considering leaving it for tomorrow. I've tried on a couple of different browsers and a couple of different jobs and the problem seems to be on-site. Hopefully others are having it to and it will be corrected. I'm just hoping I won't find the jobs gone by the time it's working again...

Maybe I'll find a number to call. I shouldn't have to do that though! I'm following the link they gave me!

Sorry small issue. I've just been out of work for a bit and this is seemed a sure thing (I got work there easily last year).

[TordelBack]

I inserted a Moderator edit colon [:] to make you look all science-fictiony like John Smith until you can decide which verb you want to stick with.

Unlimited Powwwerrrrr!

Personally I'd leave Roger's colon well alone.

[Roger Godpleton]

I want establish.

[SuperSurfer]

NHS Direct waste of time. Called last week to say I woke up 5am with excruciating pain in ankle and that the following day it had swollen up. Like a fool I mentioned I do karate but the last lesson was over 24 hours before symptoms. NHS Direct doctor said it sounds like a sprain and there can be a delayed reaction to injuries and to take Ibuprofen. Sounded a bit far fetched as I didn't feel I injured it and felt fine for over 24hours after lesson – though I know some injuries such as tears can happen over time. I stressed my concern was it might be an insect bite but was told no need to go to A&E and should only go to GP if it has not improved in 5-7 days.

Well about 4 days after the injury I went to doctor and turns out it's a bloody infection and it has been getting progressively worse.

Seems the only point of NHS Direct is to keep people away from A&E.

[House of Usher]

I just tried applying for Royal Mail Christmas work and their application website isn't working properly. Grrr.

Grrr! I had the same thing. I've been waiting two weeks to get my application in, and found the site wouldn't work. I'll try again tomorrow as well.

Incidentally, if you've worked for them before, what were they paying last time? I've heard rumours they pay better for their own casual staff than they pay agency workers, but I'd be led to believe the difference was more than 15p an hour in the past.

[House of Usher]

I want establish.

Done. 

[Mardroid]

Grrr! I had the same thing. I've been waiting two weeks to get my application in, and found the site wouldn't work. I'll try again tomorrow as well.

Incidentally, if you've worked for them before, what were they paying last time? I've heard rumours they pay better for their own casual staff than they pay agency workers, but I'd be led to believe the difference was more than 15p an hour in the past.

Ah, not just my system then. (Not that I thought it really was.) It was after you entered my NI number, yes? Blank screen?

I worked for them last Christmas. I forget how much it was now, but I think it was around 7 per hour. And yes, I believe they pay direct employees more than agency workers. (Or maybe it's the same, it's just the agency takes their cut so you end up with less.)

The job I hope to apply for this year is 7.15 an hour, but I also noticed when checking out another placement that the offering was less so it appears to differ from place to place.

[Mardroid]

Okay, Royal Mail seem to have sorted their application issues now. I've just submitted my application.