Because a lot of my fan art and writing is essentially fan elaborate fan Mail to the creators of comics I have admired all my life part of me would like them to see it. A bigger part of me realises they would probably hate it and think I was some kind of dick head trying to rip them off. It's a weird and complicated dynamic. Essentially it's like dressing like someone who you admire but you are not friends with then hoping they notice and compliment your shoes that are knock off versions of their shoes.