Last movie watched...

[Emperor]

Nazi's at the Centre of the Earth.

Yes it's Sci Fy Channel brain chowder again. Undead Nazi's in the Antartic! Yes everyone, beneath the Planet of the Apes lies a Hollow sphere world ruled by the master Race who preserve themselves by flaying unfortunate visitors of their flesh queue gory face scalping. 

But these interlopers are American dammit. So though they are Scientist, abused and sexually molested by mouldy Uber mensch they rebel against the nasty Deathless ones who are led unbelievably by an Actor who appeared in the Katy Perry video 'Hot and Cold' as the Priest/Vicar. Jake Bushey [named ReichStag here: yes subtlety is not this films strong point] was another American who turned Nazi then back again to good old Uncle Sam [spoiler]blowing up the Nazi super saucer in heroic self sacrifice.[/spoiler]

'Why did he do this you cry?! ' unable to control your feverish excitement for this bilge water Tv trash? 

To destroy [spoiler]ADOLPH HILTER[/spoiler] no less reborn and badly computer animated as a giant cyborg intent on leading the world back into his beneficent clutches!!

It doesn't get bigger than that and this Film helped me regain my faith in nothingness.

The Jake Busey character made me laugh every time he appeared on the screen - those teeth!! that hair!! he's a scientist??? His name is Reichstag??

The film was awful, obviously, but a notch or two better than the usual Asylum/Syfy films but what amazes me is that they don't have someone with half a brain go over the script and tighten it up. They went to the bother of hiring actors, throwing a lot of CGI at it and it was both an interesting concept and a rather outrageous implementation but it often felt slack where a bit of extra tinkering would have done he world of good.

[SmallBlueThing]

Since hearing about Nazis At The Centre of the Earth, ive wanted to see it, and am pleased to inform those without Rupert Murdoch's Evil TV box, or the one advertised by the goat of mendez Richard Branson and his offspring David Tennant, that it comes to dvd at the end of this month.

SBT

[radiator]

I don't know how anyone in their right mind could actually sit through one of those SyFy/Asylum shit-fests. Life is way too short.

[SmallBlueThing]

It really isnt- life's quite long, and getting longer. But yes, i'd agree with you re the asylum in general, sort of. I wouldnt choose to watch any of their usual output- but nazis appears to be something a bit special.

My biggest problem with these movies is that somehow they get justified by roger corman having done the same with budgets and speed of production back in the sixties, and italian cinema doing the same with regard to rip-offs of big u.s productions throughout the seventies and eighties. So what's the difference? And how are the asylum different to troma or charles band's studios?

Well, they just are and it's not the same. The end result seems so unloved that comparisons can't be drawn. But 'nazis at the centre of the earth' may be the film that changes that. There may be a laudable lack of pretention toward making films that are any kind of (hock, spit) 'art' and a complee embrace of enterainment and p t barnum showmanship, but the business-led cynicism so far outweighs the joy.

SBT

[IAMTHESYSTEM]

You can see the Logic behind Asylum's thinking.

For a million or two Dollars you can produce a Film that will be seen almost Worldwide on Network Television and Cable TV. The English speaking global audience is pretty large and so while Film makers struggle to get their Movie seen outside their own Country via Cinemas Asylum have a much more direct method of getting their 'Product' viewed -Television.

If you can get a million dollar Movie distributed across several Continents your bound to make money and this all before DVD sales.

I don't think me not watching another Sci Fy shite Film is going to impact Asylum's sales much. 

I spelt [spoiler]HITLER[/spoiler] wrong didn't I? Mr[spoiler] HILTER[/spoiler] is Monty Python I do believe.

[SmallBlueThing]

Absolutely, and were i to win the lottery tomorrow and have the clout to get films financed and in production, my business model would be umpteen very low budget (sub two million) exploitation films concentrating on tits, arse and monsters/violence, distributed via download and pay-tv.

I would just hope they'd be a little less, i dont know, cynical perhaps, than the asylum's output up til now.

I think you either get that or you dont. You either think the epitome of filmmaking is to make the absolute best and most artistically-sound picture possible and see increased budgets as a way of realising your vision more exactly- be it by hiring better and more expensive actors, location shoots, hd cameras, special effects or whatever- or you think 'i want to make a nazi monster movie this month, but next month i want to make a sex-vampires-in-iraq gulf war film, because there's a demand for both. Then i want a month off before making that department store santa vs zombies thing in time for the xmas market'.

SBT

[IAMTHESYSTEM]

my business model would be umpteen very low budget (sub two million) exploitation films concentrating on tits, arse and monsters/violence,..
...I would just hope they'd be a little less, i dont know, cynical perhaps, than the asylum's output up til now.
SBT

Nothing cynical there. Oh dear me no. Exploit the public for all their worth I say.

[Tiplodocus]

Of course I'm not suggesting thar DREDD should be more like the Stallone version.

But you could be faithful to the comic and deliver a 12 certificate action movie that's lighter in tone. That happens very regularly in 2000ad; not every episode of Dredd has exploding heads and drug use.

I totally appreciate tne direction they've taken and am looking forward to what they've made but would also like a DREDD That I can take Tiny Tips to see. And that is possible with the character and source material.

[Spikes]

After last nights BBC4's Roy Orbison Fest, Blue Velvet got a welcome airing. As unsettlingly good as it always was.

[SmallBlueThing]

FINAL DESTINATION 5 (the latest one)

It's not often a horror movie series gets to part five and you can honestly say the most recent is probably the best since the first- but here, you can. Not going to say much, other than the disaster here is the collapse of vancouver's lions gate bridge (or 'north bay bridge', as it pretends to be here), whereupon our hapless cast try to escape death and inevitably fail in spectacular fashion. The deaths are utterly glorious this time round, although there is an overreliance on cg blood as is par for the course now and which never, ever, looks convincing. Dredd clip, im looking at you.

Top bits this time: laser eye surgery goes a bit wrong, a thai massage and acupuncture doesnt help a man feel better, a gymnastic splat, the opening bridge carnage itself and the magnificent twist ending, which is still making me grin like a loony. All are hilarious and scary and just... well, it's highly recommended, if you like this sort of thing.

SBT

[radiator]

Of course I'm not suggesting thar DREDD should be more like the Stallone version.

But you could be faithful to the comic and deliver a 12 certificate action movie that's lighter in tone. That happens very regularly in 2000ad; not every episode of Dredd has exploding heads and drug use.

I totally appreciate tne direction they've taken and am looking forward to what they've made but would also like a DREDD That I can take Tiny Tips to see. And that is possible with the character and source material.

I have doubts. Simply because of the concept you might end up with an R/15 even of you're playing it safe, and end up with a watered down version of the character that pleases no one. Isn't that basically what happened with the 1995 version?

Maybe if it was very stylised, even animated...

[Mardroid]

making that department store santa vs zombies thing in time for the xmas market'.

I think I'd like to watch that!

[DrRocka]

After last nights BBC4's Roy Orbison Fest, Blue Velvet got a welcome airing.

Great minds - just doing the same now, haven't seen in it in nearly 20 years. Loving it!

[SmallBlueThing]

Of course you would mardroid! Down-on-his-luck department store santa leads kids and their surviving parents to safety from an xmas eve zombie uprising. Despite being a drunk, he comes to realise the kids believe he really IS santa, so he has to come through for them. It writes itself, and combining holiday shmaltz with zombies and horror guarantees an audience- as 'alternative programming' over the festive period, much like 'bad santa'. The secret would be not to pump shitloads of cash into it, but to do it quickly. Shoot the first draft- as long as the script hit the right beats, it'd be fine. A week to write and prep. Shoot in two weeks. A week in post. Then move on to the next project.
Edit: zombies could be replaced by whatever crowd-pleasing monster has proven successful this year. I may be inclined to go for vampires, purely due to that abraham lincoln film being on dvd before xmas and the final twilight coming out.

Anyway got a spare half-million?

SBT

[DeFuzzed]

Awake, 2007.

Just caught the last few minutes of this yesterday before I toddled off to bed, and it was twisted enough to make me want to watch the whole thing. I say twisted, not believable, but I know people can be nasty, nasty things so what the hell do i know. Gonna hunt this time and hope the rest is as good as the ending.