Sprogs on YouTube

TordelBack · 30 July, 2015, 06:47:00 PM

Bit of advice sought from other caregiver units here.

My eldest lad is 9, and seems to be under continual pressure from his mates to film/appear in YouTube videos. 'Everyone does it', we are told - and indeed several of his friends have unrestricted smartphones. I've put a blanket ban on it (seeing as you can't even have an account until 13, and that's with parental permission). The boy is playing ball (for now), but he's always loved the Star Wars Lego homemade animations and various Minecraft channels, and I'm starting to feel I'm making him into an outsider. I've tried redirecting his energies into making animations and games in Scratch, but the urge to film his mates falling off skateboards is stronger.

I just see permanent records of childish stupidity and an open door into the depressive horrors of seeking validation from the cesspit of YouTube commenters and their foul hateful utterances. I know I can't shield him from the internet forever, but he's only 9, FFS!

Am I being a total Conservative Dad spoilsport from a bygone age? What have other parental units here done?

Mikey · 30 July, 2015, 07:05:29 PM

No, I reckon making him hold off can only be a good thing. Also, a friend's kids (about the same age) started a channel with the idea people (namely their friends) would dare them to do stuff. They were getting low views, the numbers really just them and their friends checking for comments. One morning they checked it to find a spike in viewing figures after someone called something like Sparklemuffin had dared them to suck each others toes.

Think you can work out what was going on there - needless to say they no longer have a channel. So I'd be kinda wary.

skurvy · 30 July, 2015, 11:02:40 PM

I let my two boys, 13 and 10 make their own 'let's play minecraft/terraria' videos (ie, screen recordings of them playing the games and commentating on what they're doing) and then upload those to YouTube channels I control. Like most of these things they were really into this for a couple of months but have now moved onto other obsessions. Now this style of video isn't too bad because they're obviously not appearing in them themselves but even these still receive the odd negative/offensive comment.

Similarly all of my eldest's friends seem to be on Instagram and he asked if he could have an account, more because he didn't want to feel left out rather than because he desperately wanted to have one. Eventually we agreed on the condition that Jules and I both followed his account so we could monitor it. He's posted one picture and hasn't been on there since.

Not sure what point I'm trying to make really but Jules and I feel that this stuff isn't going away anytime soon so we need to let our boys dip their toes in but make sure we're there to keep an eye on it too. It's very tricky though.

shaolin_monkey · 31 July, 2015, 12:46:10 AM

Christ, I could tell you some horror stories after letting my 12 year old daughter loose on an iPhone. After all sorts of trouble, the ex and I decided to ban her from it for a month - behaviour instantly improved.

Now she's only allowed an hour a day, under strict supervision, and is banned from YouTube, WhatsApp, and SMS. We're not letting her near Instagram, Twitter or Facebook. We also heavily monitor her Popjam account.

Bloody mobiles - dangerous in naive hands.

maryanddavid · 31 July, 2015, 09:42:10 AM

Nope. None of mine have accounts on any social media. They do make videos, opening pack of Pokemon, Stampy style videos etc, little bit of Lego anime but its for their amusement, and I have been lucky not to get the 'well my friends are putting them up'
My oldest is going to secondary school in September, and I am expecting the request to join Facebook. She was on Vibre, but that was scrapped, a few odd messages.
I will try and keep them away from the accounts side of the net that can leave feedback for as long as I can. Which for the oldest probably wont be too long

Dandontdare · 31 July, 2015, 10:44:11 AM

My friend's son is addicted to those minecraft videos, it's amazing how many views they get. He also managed to spend about a grand on in-game purchases (no password required) on a 'free' game, but his mum read the company the riot act and managed to get a refund (he still kept all his gold and weapons though!).

TordelBack · 31 July, 2015, 12:05:54 PM

That's great food for thought gents, thanks. I know this isn't a parenting website, but I have some idea of broadly where squaxxdom is at in terms of attitude, interest and techyness (and tetchiness), so this is very helpful. We've told the lad to tell his friends that his parents are miserable super-strict bastards, and that it's not his fault he's not allowed on social media, but I am conscious of keeping him out of real-world social things as a consequence - especially where it's not even him doing the filming.

A big problem is that despite us bringing it up as an issue the parents whose kids are active on YouTube don't seem remotely concerned that their 8 and 9 year olds are sitting huddled around an unsupervised iPhone screen in their bedrooms - and yet one of them is the very same mother who just a couple of years ago wouldn't let her son play Skylanders or Lego Harry Potter because the magic in them might take over his mind..

maryanddavid · 31 July, 2015, 12:10:59 PM

You need to watch out for that magic TB, much more dangerous than online bullying

gurnard · 31 July, 2015, 12:13:07 PM

I don't think you are being out of order or over protective. He is 9, still a kid really. The fact that you are assessing these things and making judgments and not just ignoring things, in my eyes, makes you a great parent as you are involved in your kids.

Whatever decision you make it is not final in this kind of instance so if you are worried about it I would say no access to start with if he does become an outsider then you can deal with that then. But it is part of growing up and finding your place in/out of society all part of the game/journey if he has restrictions that his peers don't.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

TordelBack · 31 July, 2015, 12:13:59 PM

DDD: I've been vetting the various Minecraft channels, and as a consequence have watched a crapton of them - some of that stuff is very funny, very professional. Although I do wish YouTube would enforce some sort of age-rating warning: I was happily watching a very funny best-of episode of Yogscast with both the kids when they launched into a wanking joke. This, from the people that brought you the Diggy Diggy Hole song.

Mardroid · 02 August, 2015, 08:11:44 PM

You have to even be careful with your kids playing Minecraft. (I know that's not the same thing as checking out humorous videos.)

I went for a job interview type thing*, and the guy there warned us that pedophiles will sometimes prowl the place. I don't think he went into detail as to the procedure at that point when they're encountered. (This was a few years ago, so I can't remember everything.) I imagined that would come later with the perspective employee(s).

I'm not saying kids should be prevented from playing it (it's aimed at younger kids after all, although some adults can have fun on it) but kids need to be warned about internet safety when frequenting such places, even if it's just, "Don't arrange to meet up with people you don't know outside the game environment ( or any internet intractive environment for that matter). Not everyone is who they appear to be." And that 'report user' button isn't just for trolls and bullies.

*It was more than just an interview. They actually had us work in the support team for a day, checking by the end which of us had aptitude, etc

Definitely Not Mister Pops · 02 August, 2015, 08:31:54 PM

Quote from: Mardroid on 02 August, 2015, 08:11:44 PM
You have to even be careful with your kids playing Minecraft. (I know that's not the same thing as checking out humorous videos.)

I went for a job interview type thing*, and the guy there warned us that pedophiles will sometimes prowl the place. I don't think he went into detail as to the procedure at that point when they're encountered. (This was a few years ago, so I can't remember everything.) I imagined that would come later with the perspective employee(s).

I'm not saying kids should be prevented from playing it (it's aimed at younger kids after all, although some adults can have fun on it) but kids need to be warned about internet safety when frequenting such places, even if it's just, "Don't arrange to meet up with people you don't know outside the game environment ( or any internet intractive environment for that matter). Not everyone is who they appear to be." And that 'report user' button isn't just for trolls and bullies.

*It was more than just an interview. They actually had us work in the support team for a day, checking by the end which of us had aptitude, etc

This shouldn't be a problem as long as you vet the server. Even better, set up a server for your kids so you can vet who uses it. It's that old "say no to strangers " thing

Professor Bear · 02 August, 2015, 09:05:45 PM

It's not just strangers - my sister's girls are all online now, and a common problem is the rants from people they know calling them all the names of the day and airing every grievance real or imagined without mentioning names so they can't be reported for bullying. Ignoring them is all but impossible, as friends and friends of friends take screen grabs and share posts they think might be of interest, so even the chatter on protected accounts ends up being seen.

Putting off exposure to these realms of communication until you're sure your kids have the capacity to cope with them is the way to go, IMO, if for no other reason than you won't have to shell out for quickly-outdated phone contracts for them and can keep them on dated PAYG models. You might be a hypocrite or the worst parents ever, but you'll be that anyway sooner or later.

TordelBack · 03 August, 2015, 12:47:43 AM

The Minecraft server thing seems more manageable - there are a lot of family-friendly and 'whitelisted' servers out there, and I haven't anything but good to say about the ones we've tried. That said, I keep on at the kids about the need to be careful in all their interactions, and am happiest when they're playing on friends' servers.

Diverting into the positive for a minute, I watched my son and his friend-who's-a-girl playing vanilla creative-mode Minecraft (together IRL) today, for 2 hours straight, and seriously, what a magical game it can be. If it'd been around when I was 9 you couldn't have pried me away from the keyboard.

Was also pleased to chat to said girl's mother, who has a 'no social media' policy, arising partly from issues with real world bullying in school (it hasn't gone away, you know) and making me feel less of a control-freak. At least my lad's classmates all seem like decent kids, with no hint of that kind of thing (yet). Wish I could say the same for the kids on our road.

Definitely Not Mister Pops · 03 August, 2015, 01:22:07 AM

Quote from: TotalHack on 03 August, 2015, 12:47:43 AM
...what a magical game it can be...

I would argue that Minecraft is not so much a game as it is a toy.