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The Black Dog Thread

Started by Grugz, 02 January, 2016, 09:54:32 PM

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Dark Jimbo

@jamesfeistdraws

Tjm86

I'm going to repeat my appreciation for folks on this board.  Thank you for your support, I will wear it always.  Ironically today I had an interview for a job and was successful.  I had to demonstrate my skills and the feedback I received was that I was 'a strong practitioner'.  So the gaslighting by my current employer has been demonstrated for what it was and I fell for it hook, line and sinker.  I'm going to let my union sort that one out.

To those who, like me recently, have felt the pull of the dark canine I guess I would say; look up and see what colour the sky is.  My thanks to those who have offered the voice of reason (Jimbo / TLS/ Bolt in particular).  I just hope and pray that fellow travellers draw comfort and support as I have (again Blaze, I'm thinking of you and your wife).

The Legendary Shark

Great news on the interview, Tjm, and congratulations. You are obviously too good for the other place!

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TordelBack

Urrrgh, kicking this pup back from the threshold repeatedly is so damn tiring.  Successful so far these past months, but flippineck, it takes up a lot of time and attention: I feel like I have to actively concentrate on everything I'm thinking and doing and constantly steer myself back on track - 'mindfulness' sounds like such a peaceful zenlike state, but brother, it ain't that at all.

But still - keeping on keeping on, well worth it.

The Legendary Shark

Sorry to hear the dark hound is still nipping at you, Tordels, but glad you're keeping it at bay.

I'm always a bit wary of throwing in my two pennies here because it's different for everybody. Before I lost everything, and whilst I was in the process of losing it, Funky Fido was ever present in my life, its teeth at my throat. Since then, however, it's only made fleeting appearances of a much weaker character.

I would never be so trite as to claim I'm "cured" but the fact is, in my case at least, things can get almost unbelievably better. I wish I knew "the secret" so I could pass it on to you good people.

Perhaps, though, you might take some heart from my experience and know that the Black Dog is not invincible.

Strength and love to you, Tordels, and to all you magnificent dog wrestlers - I salute you!

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Tjm86

I don't think there is a 'secret' as such and ultimately we are all individuals.  We may experience the puppy in different ways and there may be commonalities.  I've found, along with several other friends who manage their conditions, that sharing things we've tried is helpful.  Even if it is something that we've tried, there might be something different about their way that changes things.

TLS is bang on mind, the Dark Canine is not invincible, just bloody persistent!  Annoyingly so, as you say.  I'd also agree on the twee appearance of mindfulness.  I find it helpful to remember that I'm not actually trying to lose the anxiety or depression, rather to come to an accommodation with it that makes it manageable and allows me to function.

I think that is the benefit to the crisis state that I've been working through the last couple of weeks. (which was escalated again yesterday when my old employer decided to change the terms of the provisional settlement!)  At least it's giving my skills a damn good workout.  Way I figure it, if I can get through this crap then I might stand a fighting chance.

Anyways.  I'm going to repeat my appreciation to all who have expressed support.  My thoughts and prayers are with everyone who is currently working with Animal Control, so to speak, and that they do pull through.  Tordels signed it off bang on!

"Thankfully persistence is a great substitute for talent."  Steve Martin.

Colin Zeal

I have had many periods of the black dog. All of which I convince myself aren't really that bad so why bother asking for help or talking to anyone. That attitude doesn't help anyone so my only advice to someone on this subject would be not to hide, be so proud/macho that you think other people are having it worse than you are and you will be fine in the morning. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

That's as much as I have said on this topic in a long time and I will probably leave this thread alone now but reading the previous messages has helped me a lot so thanks to all of you that have posted.

auxlen

I move from the dog sitting on me to it barking at me to go for things. Rapid cycling. I have the pills but the hyper stuff helps me in work. win/lose always. Not taking lithium for anyone.

Hawkmumbler

I've been struggling with the dark beast for years as many folks these parts know through my incessant moaning, but the last 10 months or so have been a peculiar time for my mental health. I lost my last stable job around then, lovely situation it was too, and it was a time where I discovered a close relative was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Throw in a treacherous period in my social life and it was basically some of the worst weeks of my life. It's weird how it's panned out since and I honestly thought i'd be fairing worse than i am. I've had a few short lived jobs I was not sad to see the back off, corporate exploitation of young workers is an all to real reality folks, i've now become a part time carer for my sickened relative, she's coping with the treatment very well and ultimately we're just trying to help her last few months be as stable and happy as possible, and i've found myself surrounded by a new and accepting circle of friends who are far more supportive and endearing to mt situations that the last where. I used to get so worked up on reaching a kind of happiness I only really imagined that when things fell apart it was a struggle to pick myself up again. But honestly it's been a worthwhile experience to learn about valuing life and choosing wisely whom to share your love with.

'Soppy bollocks add infinitive'

The Legendary Shark

Good to hear you're coping better, Hawkie, and more power to you.

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Tjm86

I hear what you're saying Hawkie.  I can't claim to have gone through anything anywhere near as bad as what you seem to have.  Although having said that I don't think we do ourselves or anyone else a favour in trying to claim to achieved the worst situation possible.  Our experiences are personal and it is we that have to navigate them.  Anything that attempts to invalidate the impact on us and our ability to cope is just plain wrong.  So it's great to hear how things are going.

It's amazing how things pan out when they do fall apart isn't it?  Now that my union has negotiated a mutual departure things are wrapping up nicely and I've been able to cut myself free from that experience.  Like you, I've also been able to support ill relatives. We don't get that time back do we?  I don't think we truly appreciate how much of a gift it is (although it might not seem it at the time).

I would agree completely with your closing statement about valuing and choosing.  Here's to hoping that the quality of life you're experiencing at present carries you and your family through.  All the best.

auxlen


auxlen

I'm sorry and will regret this outpouring no doubt...but I'm not doing very well. I have had a lot of fun on this forum...even though you all punctuate better than me. #feelingsorryformeyself
#ignore

The Legendary Shark

Strength and love to you, Auxlen, I hope things improve for you soon.

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Tjm86

What TLS said, Auxlen, hang in there pal.  Too many of us have been there and can fully appreciate where you're coming from.  Nothing wrong with feeling sorry for yourself , it's perfectly normal.  No way you're going to get ignored round these parts when you pop your head in for help.