Threadjacking!

[Definitely Not Mister Pops]

Would you Adam and believe it? Frank Lampard has been sacked from Chelsea Football Club Team, and not a peep out of any of you!

I'm starting to suspect you guys don't really care about the football sport.

[broodblik]

What is football ? the one with the bad actors?

[Link Prime]

Would you Adam and believe it? Frank Lampard has been sacked from Chelsea Football Club Team, and not a peep out of any of you!

I'm starting to suspect you guys don't really care about the football sport.

We've maxed out our 'Dirty Frank' attention span.

[The Legendary Shark]

I played football once.

I didn't like it.

[von Boom]

I played football once.

I didn't like it.

You should've stuck with it, Sharkie. Then you might have had the unique experience of scoring winning goal* in a championship match like I did.

*It was an own goal and thus ended any interest I had in football at the age of seven.

[Colin YNWA]

I once saved a penalty on the last day of the season to help AC Southsouth not finish bottom of the bottom division of Sheffield's Saturday League (not even Sunday league!)... achievements at footie can be at levels...

... my future wife was there to see it and I'm pretty sure that must have need why she married me... or my large comic collection...

[Barrington Boots]

My decision to grow out my beard in lockdown has led me to assemble a collection of oils and balms rivalling any branch of Lush and now I find myself on a website pondering over if I want to smell of sandalwood, vanilla, blood orange and basil or go for the lighter aroma of gardenia, lavender, green lily and peppermint.

I'm pretty sure this isn't what having a beard used to be about.

[Tiplodocus]

I'm pretty sure this isn't what having a beard used to be about.

And the world is better for having beards disassociated from previous and outdated notions of masculinity.

[Tjm86]

I once saved a penalty on the last day of the season ...

Well, if we're going with footie tales ..

I once scored a goal during Trade Training.  The PTI asked me to talk him through the even ...

"Well, I was trying to pass to ... so he could get it in the net.  The wind picked the ball up as it passed across the goal mouth and pulled it in."

Only time I ever scored a goal. 

[Link Prime]

Shocking to read that venerable members of the 2000AD Forum had trouble scoring when they were younger.

[Definitely Not Mister Pops]

I played football once.

I didn't like it.

I can imagine you were unimpressed with a set of rules you had not consented to and didn't like how the ref was allowed to impose his will on the players just because he had a whistle.

There's an alternate universe where you did take an interest in football and came up with a utopian vision for the sport where the FA is abolished and replaced with vague rhetoric and there's no need for referees because pressure from other players eliminates any foul play. Oh and everyone plays together on the same side because you don't believe in teamism.

[The Legendary Shark]

Nope, wrong on all counts.

I was too fat.

[TordelBack]

...now I find myself on a website pondering over if I want to smell of sandalwood, vanilla, blood orange and basil or go for the lighter aroma of gardenia, lavender, green lily and peppermint.

This complex decision is usually made for me at the same time I decide what to have for breakfast.  Mmmm hickory-smoked bacon beard... but not so good when it's a kedgeree day.

[Barrington Boots]

Breakfast whilst bearded is indeed time of great hazard. Porridge? Milk over granola? Absolute minefield. Eggs? Dont even go there.

[broodblik]

Breakfast whilst bearded is indeed time of great hazard. Porridge? Milk over granola? Absolute minefield. Eggs? Dont even go there.

You can always tell your wife: kissing a man with a beard is like eating soup with a fork you can never get enough.