The Political Thread

[Hawkmumbler]

Best o'luck Sharky.

[Dode C]

Fingers crossed Sharky. Best of luck!

[SuperSurfer]

Rooting for you Sharky.

[Professor Bear]

[Prodigal2]

Thank you all for your understanding and support, I am truly thankful to be part of such an exemplary community - so win, lose or draw come Monday morning, I'm already a winner.
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I'll keep you posted!

I have only been on here sporadically of late Shark but like everyone else has said, the best of luck fella.

[The Legendary Shark]

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This must take the award for The Most Appropriate Application of a Cartoon of All Time. Love it - it sums up how I feel to a tee: Ostensibly foolish but deadly serious at heart.
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Gonna' be a long Sunday night, methinks, but that's cheered me up no end!

[Emp]

Best of luck Sharky!

[The Legendary Shark]

I was expecting a restless night, hours of tossing and turning and worrying and fretting in the wee smalls. As it turned out, sleep found me with ease and didn't release me until the alarm clock came knocking.
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I spent the morning setting up; making sure all the windows were firmly closed and the curtains drawn tight shut. I put a camp chair behind the front door and at its foot rested all the paperwork, books and stationary I thought I might need. Set up my computer and 'phone to record the proceedings. Rolled some fags and set them near at hand with a lighter. I even readied a squeezy bottle full of ice cubes and dihydrogen monoxide - because you never know.
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The first wave came at around 10:35 - not bailiffs but council officials.
"Mr H__?"
"I neither confirm nor deny my identity. What do you want?"
"I need you to open the door, Sir."
"Sorry, no - I won't be opening my door today."
"But... Look, Mr H__..."
"I neither confirm nor deny my identity."
"Hmph. You will need to pack a bag, Sir, take what you and your dog need."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Very well, at 11 o' clock the court bailiffs will be here with a carpenter and the police and we will..."
"The police? Why would you need to call the police when no crime has been committed?"
"You are refusing to co-operate, therefore the police will be called."
"As you wish - however, as I believe bailiffs are only permitted to call in the police should violence be done or threatened, and I have no intention of visiting violence upon you or even threatening you with it, calling the police would be wasting their time."
"Look, Mr H__, the bailiffs have a warrant from the court ordering your eviction."
"No they haven't."
He offers to show me a copy of the warrant, which he has in his car, I say no thanks. Copies are no good, I need to see the original. He's a tough guy, shaved head, and it's real cold outside. He's getting frustrated.
I explain that the bailiff's warrant can't be valid and, that being the case, I have no need to accept it. He scoffs and, I have to admit, even I'm not 100% sure about that claim either. We go around in circles for a bit before I get fed up with the conversation.
"All right," I say, "we'll play it your way. If the bailiffs turn up with a valid warrant we'll take it from there."
He grumpily agrees and stomps off back to his car for a warm.
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Initial skirmish over, I settle into my camp chair with a cigarette to wait for the bailiffs. I don't know why but I'm feeling very calm and 20 minutes pass at a leisurely rate without me wishing them faster or slower.
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Then, a shadow falls across the door lights...

[ZenArcade]

No passaran, Sharky! Z

[The Legendary Shark]

"Hey up!" It's J__, a good friend of mine who's turned up with his video camera. "They're coming," he says and immediately the council guys and the bailiffs try to shoo him away.

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"Excuse me," I call, firmly, through the letterbox which I have jammed open with an obscene-looking rolled up newspaper shrouded in brown tape, "please do not harass my friend - he is the only one out there my actual permission to be here today."
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They leave J__ alone and turn their attention to me.
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Crouched down to speak to me through the jammed open letterbox, the bailiff reveals that he has the same need as the council guy in relation to the arrangement of my front door.  I admit that I'm content with the current arrangement and have no plans to change it.
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From what I can see of him through the letterbox, the bailiff is probably in his fifties. He has neat grey hair, glasses and a kindly face. He's probably been doing this for years, maybe even decades. I make a conscious effort to be polite yet firm.
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"Mr H__, if you don't..."
"I neither confirm nor deny my identity, Sir," I say calmly, through a smile.
"You must open this door now, Sir."
"Do you have a warrant?"
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He does. I ask him to hold it up to the letterbox so I can inspect it. He obliges, though keeps tight hold of the document lest, I suppose, one of my tentacles were to lash through the letterbox and snatch it from him.
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This is it - this is where I find out whether all those hours reading old law books and wading through virtually indecipherable legislation and watching assorted kooks and numpties on YouTube has informed or misinformed me. At first, things look good...
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"There doesn't seem to be an official court stamp or seal."
The statement doesn't phase him for an instant. He instantly spins the document around and points to the court stamp. My heart sinks. This could make things more complicated. I have one last chance at this particular attack. If it fails, the situation may spiral out of my control.
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"Thank you," I say calmly and follow up, in the same calm and friendly tone but with my heart and mind starting to churn, "and the authorising signature of a Court Official?" I hold my breath. Crunch time.
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The bailiff looks at the warrant. He frowns and says, "um..."
"Um?" I echo.
"These things aren't generally signed, there's no need..."
"So, warrants don't need to be authorized?"
"Um..."
"Look, Sir, that warrant has not been authorized by a court official and is therefore invalid."
"Mr H__..."
"I neither confirm nor deny my..."
"Yes, yes, yes - the thing is, if you refuse to comply I'll just go and get more bailiffs."
"Coming back mob-handed won't make that document you have any less invalid, will it?"
He pauses. He looks at the invalid warrant. "Just because you think this warrant is invalid doesn't make it so."
"And you believing it to be valid is no concern of mine. No signature, no warrant."
He pauses again. I notice for the first time that there don't seem to be any police outside. "I'll have to check with my boss," he says. "But this isn't over, we will be back."
"Be sure to bring a valid warrant, Sir, otherwise we'll just have a repeat of today."
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The bailiff disappears and the council guy comes back to try and 'talk some sense into me'. He doesn't get very far. I hear the bailiffs telling the council guy that they're going to retire.
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They leave the council guy to it. He argues with me some more, to no avail, he makes veiled threats and tells lies about me having no choice.
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In the end, he leaves too.
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There was a lot more to it, but that's the gist.
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Round One to me but there's still a long road ahead. Hope I haven't bored you all too much with my wacky travails!
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[Bolt-01]

Funt Sharky, glad I'm not in your shoes. Take care my friend.

[James Stacey]

All the best Shark. Living up to the Legendary tag today.

[JamesC]

Why do they want you out and where do they want you to go?

[The Legendary Shark]

Thanks, chaps!
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James, long story short, I refuse to claim housing benefit (or any benefits) on ideological grounds. This means that I cannot afford to pay the rent on my council flat - at least, not the amount they're asking. I currently regularly pay the council a percentage of my meagre part-time income but this is irksome to the council. That's why they want me out.
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As to where I'm supposed to go, well, that'll be another department, I guess and, either way, nobody seems particularly concerned about such piddling details.

[von Boom]

Hell Sharky, I worry for you. I hope things turn out for the best for you.