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General Chat => Off Topic => : The Enigmatic Dr X 13 February, 2003, 06:18:07 PM

: Religious Oppression
: The Enigmatic Dr X 13 February, 2003, 06:18:07 PM
The census results have just been released. When asked to give details of their religion, 367,000 respondents said they were "Jedi Knights". That's 100,000 Jedis than there are Jews.

While this is clearly a piss-take, the government has lumped the Jedi respondents in with heathens, atheists and pagans as having no religion.

This seems a bit rich to me. If someone has taken the time to indicate what they consider to be their religion, surely they deserve to be recognised? Who is the government to dictate what is, and is not, a religion?

I'm not very bright on the technical front but I think the link is: http://www.kli.org/



: Re: Religious Oppression
: The Enigmatic Dr X 13 February, 2003, 06:20:06 PM
Bugger.

For lies, damn lies and jedis see:-


Scotland
http://www.gro-scotland.gov.uk/

England and Wales and some National Stats
http://www.statistics.gov.uk/
: Re: Religious Oppression
: The Enigmatic Dr X 13 February, 2003, 06:21:45 PM
The Klingon thing is because I bet a workmate that no one thought that was a religion. He said that not only was it a religion, but you could study it at university and learn the language.

I was wrong... maybe Iraq has a point about the west!
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Matt Timson 13 February, 2003, 06:46:44 PM
Yeah... I've been wanting to start my own cult-type religion thing up for ages.  Lot of money in it for very little *actual* work.  I don't want much- just undying devotion and all your worldly goods.

I've even got an opening for "Grand Wizard", if anybody's interested.

: Re: Religious Oppression
: petemaskreplica 13 February, 2003, 07:43:33 PM
Grand Wizard?
Well, it's a nice title and all, but I've got my own "Cult of the Troutmask", which has raised me higher than the very gods themselves (bwah-ha-ha, etc), so I think I'll pass, thanks all the same.
By the way, if anyone fancies abandoning their puny human morality to follow the path of the piscene artifice, I've got a few vacancies for high priests, drunken debauchers and sex slaves. Good hours and no heavy lifting (except the sex slaves, possibly).
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Malchidiel 13 February, 2003, 07:49:11 PM
Could I be a high, drunken sex slave please?
: Re: Religious Oppression
: petemaskreplica 13 February, 2003, 07:53:47 PM
always good to see ambition in a new recruit. welcome aboard!
can you do visions too? always handy to have a few visions about the place.
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Malchidiel 13 February, 2003, 08:06:07 PM
Yes, I can do visions, but usually after consuming large amounts of alcohol.
: Re: Religious Oppression
: The Enigmatic Dr X 13 February, 2003, 08:07:52 PM
You are all forgetting the true meaning of religion: Holidays!

How many and when?
Do they involve fasting?
Do they involved giving presents?

Maybe there should be an eBay style bidding contest for converts?
: Re: Religious Oppression
: petemaskreplica 13 February, 2003, 08:47:21 PM
well, I'm having a half day today, so I'm about to have one right now.

In general, this cult considers the"holiday" to be our natural state, and would like to introduce a system of having "work" breaks, where you can go and do a job for a few days a year to relieve the pressures of holiday. Though this is by no means compulsary;)

Fasting? Not bloody likely.

The book of the mask states that it is more blessed to receive than to give.
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Malchidiel 13 February, 2003, 08:55:30 PM
I forgot to ask, whos sex slave am I. And do I get holidays too?
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Jared Katooie 13 February, 2003, 09:06:39 PM
You bloody bastard!

I'm the cult leader around here! Become a triangularian now and get special cult privilages! Malchidiel, if you sign up you can have the run of the cult meeting house with it's numerous facilities.... when it gets built, which it will if theres more members, who will join if you do!

Anyway it's no fun without members of a female persuasion..

If you give up your heathen ways Pete I'll make you trollfinder general with an axe and a hood and everything! Join the Triangularians for power and bizarre acts of religious insanity!

There's a role open for the third high priest, who is the point of the triangle of three and gets to order everyone who isn't me around! First come, first served!

So join now! Or else fall in the revolution!

Hail me!

Lord Jared.
: Re: Religious Oppression
: The Monarch 13 February, 2003, 09:11:30 PM
the cult of the high page has a nice ring to it of course it is all just a front for my more...sinister intentions mwahahahahahah...er i mean join now
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Malchidiel 13 February, 2003, 09:28:14 PM
If I join Jared, do I still get to be a sex slave, and do I get my own throne.

I will also be requiring lots of chocolate and Guinness, and I need to thrash out my tunes every day, is that OK.

Joolz
: Re: Religious Oppression
: petemaskreplica 13 February, 2003, 09:34:47 PM
Bah! ignore this three-sided nonsense, Malchi. The way of the Troutmask is the one true path.
I can assure you that tune thrashing is an integral part of sex-slavedom, as is chocolate and alcohol.
And thrones for everyone! with big cushions!
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Malchidiel 13 February, 2003, 09:40:22 PM
Oooooh! I'm spoilt for choice now. Do I toss a coin, or do I hang on in there and see who comes up with the best offer? What d'ya reckon?

Start bargaining lads.

Joolz
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Jared Katooie 13 February, 2003, 09:53:06 PM
If you join today madam you get to imbibe all the Guinness you want, as much incredibly loud music as possible anything else you want to do. (The whole Triangularian thing is about that) plus lots of people to boss around or (should the mood tae you) torture for your amusement. Pete's got the whole fish thing going on and that's notgood. Plus join today and you get the afforementioned post of supreme priestess! But wait , theres more! You also get a handsome set of quality, hard wearing butchers knives for all you're butchering needs!

Don’t delay, join today!

JK

: Re: Religious Oppression
: Malchidiel 13 February, 2003, 09:59:10 PM
Oooooh! Torture, thrashy tunes and guinness, but I reckon it's the butchers knives that are going to clinch it.

Your turn Pete.
: Re: Religious Oppression
: petemaskreplica 14 February, 2003, 06:54:04 AM
I'll offer you all that, plus my special *really* big knives, and a ride in my zeppelin of power!
"It's the Blimp, Frank! The Blimp!"
Fish shall rule the world! I had a vision about it, y'know.
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Malchidiel 14 February, 2003, 02:39:49 PM
And the winner is.........Jared.

Sorry Pete, but insanity wins every time. Now start stocking up with guinness, Jared.

Joolz
: Re: Religious Oppression
: karne 15 February, 2003, 03:49:50 AM
An ice-cold BOTTLE of Guinness, the legacy of Willy Wonka and the chance to maim and torture those other two losers… You know what I think?

“Oh, You’re my wife nowwww.”
: Re: Religious Oppression
: The Monarch 15 February, 2003, 09:18:27 PM
hey cool can i use that papa as an icon?!?
: Re: Religious Oppression
: karne 16 February, 2003, 01:24:28 AM
By all means, help yourself to it.
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Malchidiel 17 February, 2003, 04:21:37 PM
Anyone who posts a piccy of Papa Lazarou is obviously going to win. I'm such a turncoat.

Joolz
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Jared Katooie 17 February, 2003, 04:53:14 PM
All right how about psychic superpowers? An exclusive to the Triangularianist faith!

Also in case you havent realised I live in IRealnd the home of Guinness you can have a whole damn distillery or two when I take over.

Plus I'm going to get some robots too... gottal love robots
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Malchidiel 17 February, 2003, 05:42:22 PM
Cos you live in Ireland, where Guinness is plentiful, (and I have a thing for Irish accents anyway) you win.....well so far:)

Joolz
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Jared Katooie 17 February, 2003, 05:49:58 PM
God, you're fickle!

But, yay! anyway....


J.
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Jared Katooie 17 February, 2003, 05:50:39 PM
God, you're fickle!

But, yay! anyway....

We also know how to serve Guiness here too....

J.
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Malchidiel 17 February, 2003, 05:56:53 PM
I've changed my mind again. I don't know what to, but it's changed.

Joolz
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Malchidiel 17 February, 2003, 05:58:58 PM
Erm, Jared what have you done, it's all gone a bit wonky.
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Jared Katooie 17 February, 2003, 06:01:46 PM


Behold my power!


And thats just a fraction!


Watch this!

Zap!
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Malchidiel 17 February, 2003, 06:03:57 PM
Wow! that's f*cking amazing. I've never seen one like that before.
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Jared Katooie 17 February, 2003, 06:06:36 PM
Red text...



No red text...

JK
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Malchidiel 17 February, 2003, 06:10:06 PM
Hmmmm! Well I'm off to Tommy Tuckers to get a huge mother of a sarnie for me dins.

See ya
Joolz
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Jared Katooie 17 February, 2003, 06:13:57 PM
Fair enough. Eat some food for me! (tight budget)


Jared "f*cking amazing" Katooie.
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Malchidiel 17 February, 2003, 08:05:54 PM
Jared, I brought you a huge mother of a sarnie and a cream cake back, but you weren't here, so I've eaten them myself. Yum.
: Re: Religious Oppression
: Jared Katooie 17 February, 2003, 08:10:39 PM
Rats. I had a pack of crisps, a moro and a twix.

Off for a chat...


J.