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Author Topic: Religious Oppression  (Read 3020 times)

The Enigmatic Dr X

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Religious Oppression
« on: 13 February, 2003, 06:18:07 PM »
The census results have just been released. When asked to give details of their religion, 367,000 respondents said they were "Jedi Knights". That's 100,000 Jedis than there are Jews.

While this is clearly a piss-take, the government has lumped the Jedi respondents in with heathens, atheists and pagans as having no religion.

This seems a bit rich to me. If someone has taken the time to indicate what they consider to be their religion, surely they deserve to be recognised? Who is the government to dictate what is, and is not, a religion?

I'm not very bright on the technical front but I think the link is: http://www.kli.org/



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The Enigmatic Dr X

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Re: Religious Oppression
« Reply #1 on: 13 February, 2003, 06:20:06 PM »
Bugger.

For lies, damn lies and jedis see:-


Scotland
http://www.gro-scotland.gov.uk/

England and Wales and some National Stats
http://www.statistics.gov.uk/
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The Enigmatic Dr X

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Re: Religious Oppression
« Reply #2 on: 13 February, 2003, 06:21:45 PM »
The Klingon thing is because I bet a workmate that no one thought that was a religion. He said that not only was it a religion, but you could study it at university and learn the language.

I was wrong... maybe Iraq has a point about the west!
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Matt Timson

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Re: Religious Oppression
« Reply #3 on: 13 February, 2003, 06:46:44 PM »
Yeah... I've been wanting to start my own cult-type religion thing up for ages.  Lot of money in it for very little *actual* work.  I don't want much- just undying devotion and all your worldly goods.

I've even got an opening for "Grand Wizard", if anybody's interested.

Pffft...

petemaskreplica

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Re: Religious Oppression
« Reply #4 on: 13 February, 2003, 07:43:33 PM »
Grand Wizard?
Well, it's a nice title and all, but I've got my own "Cult of the Troutmask", which has raised me higher than the very gods themselves (bwah-ha-ha, etc), so I think I'll pass, thanks all the same.
By the way, if anyone fancies abandoning their puny human morality to follow the path of the piscene artifice, I've got a few vacancies for high priests, drunken debauchers and sex slaves. Good hours and no heavy lifting (except the sex slaves, possibly).

Malchidiel

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Re: Religious Oppression
« Reply #5 on: 13 February, 2003, 07:49:11 PM »
Could I be a high, drunken sex slave please?

petemaskreplica

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Re: Religious Oppression
« Reply #6 on: 13 February, 2003, 07:53:47 PM »
always good to see ambition in a new recruit. welcome aboard!
can you do visions too? always handy to have a few visions about the place.

Malchidiel

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Re: Religious Oppression
« Reply #7 on: 13 February, 2003, 08:06:07 PM »
Yes, I can do visions, but usually after consuming large amounts of alcohol.

The Enigmatic Dr X

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Re: Religious Oppression
« Reply #8 on: 13 February, 2003, 08:07:52 PM »
You are all forgetting the true meaning of religion: Holidays!

How many and when?
Do they involve fasting?
Do they involved giving presents?

Maybe there should be an eBay style bidding contest for converts?
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petemaskreplica

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Re: Religious Oppression
« Reply #9 on: 13 February, 2003, 08:47:21 PM »
well, I'm having a half day today, so I'm about to have one right now.

In general, this cult considers the"holiday" to be our natural state, and would like to introduce a system of having "work" breaks, where you can go and do a job for a few days a year to relieve the pressures of holiday. Though this is by no means compulsary;)

Fasting? Not bloody likely.

The book of the mask states that it is more blessed to receive than to give.

Malchidiel

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Re: Religious Oppression
« Reply #10 on: 13 February, 2003, 08:55:30 PM »
I forgot to ask, whos sex slave am I. And do I get holidays too?

Jared Katooie

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Re: Religious Oppression
« Reply #11 on: 13 February, 2003, 09:06:39 PM »
You bloody bastard!

I'm the cult leader around here! Become a triangularian now and get special cult privilages! Malchidiel, if you sign up you can have the run of the cult meeting house with it's numerous facilities.... when it gets built, which it will if theres more members, who will join if you do!

Anyway it's no fun without members of a female persuasion..

If you give up your heathen ways Pete I'll make you trollfinder general with an axe and a hood and everything! Join the Triangularians for power and bizarre acts of religious insanity!

There's a role open for the third high priest, who is the point of the triangle of three and gets to order everyone who isn't me around! First come, first served!

So join now! Or else fall in the revolution!

Hail me!

Lord Jared.

The Monarch

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Re: Religious Oppression
« Reply #12 on: 13 February, 2003, 09:11:30 PM »
the cult of the high page has a nice ring to it of course it is all just a front for my more...sinister intentions mwahahahahahah...er i mean join now

Malchidiel

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Re: Religious Oppression
« Reply #13 on: 13 February, 2003, 09:28:14 PM »
If I join Jared, do I still get to be a sex slave, and do I get my own throne.

I will also be requiring lots of chocolate and Guinness, and I need to thrash out my tunes every day, is that OK.

Joolz

petemaskreplica

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Re: Religious Oppression
« Reply #14 on: 13 February, 2003, 09:34:47 PM »
Bah! ignore this three-sided nonsense, Malchi. The way of the Troutmask is the one true path.
I can assure you that tune thrashing is an integral part of sex-slavedom, as is chocolate and alcohol.
And thrones for everyone! with big cushions!