Brian Kressler (Letter of the Week, prog 1490) - is he...
Link: Click to vote
I think Lobster Random is fantastic, and it always offers the best laugh out loud moments in any issue it's in. I guess it depends on your sense of humour, but it's like saying Evil Dead 2 is an evil mean-spirited film just because people get hacked up with chainsaws. It's not, it's a bloody good laugh, done with it's tongue firmly in cheek. The violence in Lobster has the same surreal over the top edge to it, and the torture scenes generaly don't have any actual gore in them. Aquired taste maybe, but not any more violent than a Tom And Jerry cartoon, and done with a similar sensibility I think. Sorry if that was a bit longwinded, but as one of my favourite strips I wanted to give my defense for it!
This read like one of those tounge-in-cheek 'joke' moans, especially because he went and began 'As a practising Christian...', making himself sound like someone doing a lame parody of a real christian. It wasn't until I got to the end I realised the poor guy was totally serious.
this poll, clever though it is, doesn't allow for the positon of thinking that Lobster is amoral but that it doesn't matter at all (at least I don't think the poll allows for that). As another practicing Christian (I'm bound to get it right eventually) I find the letter odd. Where was this guy when Sinister Dexter were being printed? Comics are fun and Lobster Random is a good comic, well-written, interestng, witty but hardly a threat to morality in the real world
Oh, it's so easy to bash Christians but some of them are just downright twerps and they ask for it. I know I'm opening a HUGE can of worms here so I'm sorry in advance to anyone and everyone I offend.
However, that letter reminded me of the site below which is a Christian Film Review site. It is both hilarious and frightening at the same time. I challenge anyone to read the Jurassic Park review without being sickened by the mindset of the guy who wrote it. I'm sure it says more about him than the rest of us sinners put together!
Sorry again!
Pete.
Link: Breasts in Jurassic Park?!?
That JP review leaves me seething with rage. It's saying something when even the most "issue-focussed" reviewer makes a central point of describing something that: (a). You can't for the life of you remember despite it being one of your your GFs fave movies and you've seen it several dozen times; (b). You can't imagine even considering to be an issue. What a sick fuck that boy must be, and what a lovely relationship he must have with his own children (please Grud he has none).
And frankly, there isn't enough of Laura Dern's body parts in the film. Or in any film, really.
I don't seem to recall any of the "inappropriate" behaviour he mentions in Jurassic Park, maybe he shouldn't be looking so hard for it.
And another vote for more Dern.
I went with the yoghurt suggestion, but on reflection would have to conclude that a yoghurt's got more culture!!
My real question would have to be:"do people like this still exist in the 21st century"?
And why is he still a "practising christian and not a real one yet"? I'm sorry, but ridiculing people like this, is like shooting fish in a barrel!
With all the shit going on in the world(mostly religious related I might add) he's worried about a comic strip and the issue that he might of glimpsed a bit of tit in Jurassic park!!
Pull your head out of your arse, mate!
Peace,
Dweezil.
"The Legs and Other Anatomy of Laura Dern."
Wha...? I don't remember that. I'm pretty sure I would have remembered that...
He appears to be offended that women (and 'preteen girls')actually have anatomies.
Apologies: The Jurassic park comment wasn't made by him, but some other idiot, with too much time on his hands.
Sorry but I just accidentally broke the poll. It's not really worth creating another thread for, is it?
I never quite understand opening a righteously indignant letter with the "as a christian" prefix.
I mean, so what? That fact wasn't in any way relevant to his opinion, so I can only assume that he's filled with pride at being a christian and is unable to help himself in mentioning it whenever he communicates with others.
Either that, or he thinks that being christian somehow promotes his argument by giving him a greater sense of morality than non-christians, which would be a bit presumptuous, elitist, bigoted, arrogant, condescending and self-righteous.
Fortunately, if anyone points this out to him, he'll be able to turn the other cheek, and conveniantly ignore them.
Who's willing to bet that Tharg sent him the Lobster Random TPB for his troubles...?
I assumed it was a wind up. Even if it wasn't, old Brian's scored himself a free GN while us poor saps have to pay for ours.
For the record: Lob IS amoral, it DOESN'T matter and I don't find it particularly funny but it's got nothing to do with the previous answers.
the breasts in Jurassic park link is a hoot. There's a phenomenon called 'ghosting' which means you can see women's bodies through their clothes. I've noticed this in various movies (I'll bet the Nicole Kidman Batman movie in which she lies face down in a bed with the sheet nicely tucked around her bum gets these guys apoplectic) but have always thought it was a good thing. Now, in addition to all the other temptations I have to resist, I have to resist looking up those goofy reviews.
Floyd
ps I forgot to say 'as a practicing Christian'. Damn
Posted by Fate:
I never quite understand opening a righteously indignant letter with the "as a christian" prefix.
As I understand it, it's a shorthand way of announcing that the following opinions are essentially worthless and full of self righteous indignation, as the writer has his or her head crammed up his or her arse...
Much like opening a post with Posted by scutfink...
I loved this bit;
"Jurassic Park lost heavily in the area of Wanton Violence/Crime, particularly toward children."
Imagine them reviewing the story of Hansel & Gretel.....
And then there's this;
"Of particular offense in the Sex/Homosexuality Investigation Area was inappropriate touching of a minor child by an adult. There is no need for any male actor, adult or otherwise, to touch the chest or groin area of a preteen girl, even in the name of Hollywood-style rescue -- this was not real life, it was a movie. Neither is there ever any need to reveal such a large portion of a preteen girl's breast as was seen twice in Jurassic Park"
Now either they got Gary Glitter to review it or the guy was watching the porn version by mistake.
But if you want a real laugh look up the review of Saving Private Ryan.
No - read a few other reviews, then turn to the review of Passion of the Christ.
I have to say troubling to make note of "sexual obsession over business cards" in all the mentalness of American Psycho does have a wierd genius to it...
Anyone found any films they actually like?
Spongebob Squarepants - "Rear Male Cartoon Nudity"
Toy Story 2 - "a gaggle of Barbie(tm) dolls dancing in swimwear as Mr. Potato Head and others ogle at them with a sensual presence"
Best review of anything ever - Curse of the Were Rabbitt - "like a dirty old man showing pictures of his "girlfriend" to little boys"
they mostly like 'March of the Penguins' which gains points for being a moving story in which no animal private parts are seen (they're penguins, so that's hardly surprising. There's a reason nobody says "it sticks out like Penguin balls"). However it loses points for some moving penguin copulation "which could give your adolescents thoughts"
My guess would be the adolescents would be thinking "why can't we see V?"
They dislike '10 Things I hate about You' which I loathed but for different reasons
They gave up on 8MM without watching the end, wussies...
:)
as a practicing procrastinator, I find that review site addictive. They loved the bloody awful 'we were soldiers' (in which Mel Gibson defeats the Vietnamese by being more Christian than they are). They write a humourless review of Zoolander which is ,ironically, very funny.
However the review of Rabbit Proof Fence was quite nice, with the reviewer showing some decency.
There's something *seriously* fucked in the head with these CAPALERT weirdos...
The Incredibles: "dressing to maximize the [cartoon] female form and/or skin exposure"
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: "camera angle to force viewer on private parts (clothed)"
Rugrats in Paris: "snug-fitting dress on adult (standing out, making it obvious)"
Monsters Inc: "implication of nudity "
This is getting scary now
Link: Story of Creation
It was quite a good review of Rabbit Proof Fence, apart from the fact that they felt the need to suggest that an Australian aborigine can only display inner beauty, before descending into ridiculous claptrap about how people shouldn't procreate outside of wedlock because it's sinful, all the while using the gross assumption that all mixed race children in that location were the result of rape.
(Must remember not to go to any christian sites ever again - because they appear, on this evidence, to be filled with prurient hatred and general ignorance.)
"By the way, that adorable little girl on the cover of the boxart looks exactly like one of our adopted daugthers. "
I'd rather live in an orphanage.
Offences include:
rabblery!
I'm sure that was missed in Life of Brian, here... wait a moment, maybe there's a review of that...God damn! that site is addictive, nail some sense into em!!
Maybe we should have Thread Rating based on WISDOM?
Jesus H Christ, the H stands for Huff
Sorry for posting the site folks, it really is horribly addictive! I spent ages on it yesterday being confused by such phrases as "Naked male body covered in towel"
I read the review of Chicken Little which gets slated because he sings 'We are the Champions.' The reviewer points out:
"But there is something deeper that I feel must be revealed to parents and grandparents. Freddie Mercury, who died of AIDS in 1991, was an avowed homosexual practitioner. The song phrase "we are the champions of the world" and the rest of the quite powerful and eloquent lyrical story reads like an ode to and encouragement of fellow homosexual practitioners as well as glorification of the practice of homosexualty."
Absolutely barking!
There's a totally bizarre bit at the begining of the review of The Butterfly Effect discussing some punks who were ahead of him in the queue and how it's a good job they didnt mess with him coz he's he's like really built....
I wish, for instance, Woss would do more reviews like that.
Surprise, surprise they like the 'Left Behind' movies...
Finally they've reviewed The DaVinci Code!
http://www.capalert.com/capreports/davincicode-the.htm
Had to include this one, Sin City. Go on and take a guess of the rating....
http://www.capalert.com/capreports/sincity.htm
And on the subject of the Left Behind stories, no comes the game.
http://www.talk2action.org/story/2006/5/29/195855/959
"one use of the most foul of the foul words"
That was from Jersey Girl. I'm guessing it's "Affleck" appearing in the credits.
"Dr. Evil sensually sucked his little finger."
Bwa-ha-ha!
Here's one of my own: "naked body hidden by clothing". Shit, this is fun!
My god, I'll never get any work done now!
"While I am certain God has a "sense of humor" since He gave it to us, I find it most difficult to believe He finds humor in sin since He will cast the unforgiven sinner into the lake of fire for eternity. Not very funny at all."
Was that quote from their review of Canon & Ball's 'Boys in Blue' film?
I don't know why they're so hung up on non-sexual nudity. I'm no bible scholar, but I thought Adam and Eve were naked and ignorant of their nakedness until the Serpent told them to go and put some clothes on, and when God saw they'd covered themselves up he was a bit cross with them. "Who told you that you were naked?", etc.
I've always wondered about God in that story.
I'll create a man.
My man is getting bored - better create a woman.
Cunningly, I won't tell them that they're naked.
Obviously, I'll make them so they're too stupid to notice.
Now I'll hide behind a tree giggling at the stupid naked people.
Damn.
Who told them about the clothes?
Brilliant! I love CAP Alert, although I'm not entirely unconvinced that the whole thing isn't one long sustained parody.
My favourite is this Harry Potter review from last year - unsurprisingly, they really have it in for Harry. But this time they outdid themselves.
This film contains such unthinkable horrors as:
"Christmas without Jesus"
"spirits floating about"
"stained glass window character crying"
"moving still photos/paintings"
"impossible events such as a frigate surfacing from under water"
"long sequence of doing battle with evil"(!)
I...I c.can't read it! the christian bull started in my head as soon as i loaded the link!(must have been Nero in a last life!)
top 500 fundamentalists? are'nt we at war with them? fundamentalist's i mean although christians at the zoo makes for pleasing thoughts.
white dove radio.com? bloody christians!!on the one hand they scream "be like us love you're fellow man" the next thing you know they are allover the radio saying how we should "convert the arabs" bloody nutters!
i have one suggestion for them though.....there's a motorway near me,they should play with it in rush hour!!!!!!! ahaaahaaahaaahaaaaahaaa!!!
feed 'em to the lions!!
and for those christians who will no doubt complain about this i can only say,stop building your bloody christian army,you ain't getting into the White House!!!either that or............Forgive this humble sinner!!!
I think you'll find they're already in the White House!
ACKKK!NEIN,NEIN ZEN VE ARE DOOMED TO EXTINTION!!!
There's a doc on C4 next week about the rise of the Christian right in US politics esp this evengelical university they all go to
Fuck, it is addictive, and they seem to be describing my idea of heaven:
Sex/Homosexuality (S):
# dressing to maximize the female form and/or skin exposure
# ghosting of female anatomy through thin clothing
# females in skimpy underwear
# sexual references, inferences, innuendo and comments, some quite vulgar
# admission of sexual immorality
# revealing swimwear
# many displays and comments of homosexuality and lesbianism
# suggestive eye movements
# camera angles to force viewer on private parts
# much talk of sexual body fluids
Drugs/Alcohol (D):
# drinking
# booze
# drunkenness
SPOILERS!!!
In the Da Vinci code they have:
"statue nudity, repeatedly"
Jesus! (oops!)