Last movie watched...

[SmallBlueThing]

Don't forget 'I Am Cock', The Amy Reid-starring porno version.

You'd think they'd at least have gone for something that scanned similarly - "I Am Bell-End", maybe.

Heh. I got it sent to me on a disc with 'Porn of the Dead'- an anthology zombie porn flick that manages to be somehow better and more fun than 90% of the zombie films that appear for £7 in HMV with a cover showing thousands of living dead against a burning city background, all seemingly photoshopped by the same, very bored, designer deep in the bowels of El Cheapo Media Marketing Ltd.

Oddly, "deep in the bowels" does sum up much of 'Porn of the Dead'- but 'I Am Cock' gets my initial vote because the title made me laugh so long and hard.

Oddly, "long and hard" does sum up much of 'I Am Cock'- and it goes to enormous lengths to replicate the look and feel of the Wil Smith version.

Oddly, "enormous lengths" does... etc, etc.

SBT

[Emperor]

To be fair we have had a really good adaptation of I Am Legend (which proved very influential on George Romero) and one looser one*

Don't forget 'I Am Cock', The Amy Reid-starring porno version.

I had to Google that as I thought you were pulling my... leg-end.

[I, Cosh]

I quite enjoyed the Will Smith movie too, but I also think the book's vastly overrated.

On New Year's Day, a mate and I had a lovely, romantic afternoon watching Tekken. I don't know about you, but if I was planning to make a film based on a computer game which is solely concerned with fighting, I'd probably start by rounding up a bunch of third-rate martial artists and have them knock each other around for a bit. Sadly, this idea doesn't seem to have occurred to the makers of this film. Instead we get an inoffensive pretty boy trying to avenge his mother's death by fighting a load of preening dancers and pretty girls in revealing costumes. Gary Daniels is the only proper hard man in it and Luke Goss is probably the best actor.

I imagine there may even be a Scojo figure out there somewhere bewailing the liberties they've taken with the fascinating Tekken backstory. Worth watching if you can't move and you find entertainment value in trying to identify the characters before anyone says there name.

So, like the game, it's better than Street Fighter.

[Professor Bear]

Jesus, is that the Tekken movie with the lesbian incest and very little actual fighting despite having Gary "at this stage of my career I will fuck you up for food" Daniels knocking about?  That film gives trash a bad name and makes Double Dragon look good.

Things To Come, a 1936 sci-fi flick that's a bit stagey but foreshadows some things quite well, particularly the rise of air warfare, World War 2, and even post-peak oil methods of space exploration.  Some of the post-apocalyptic stuff is unnecessarily rosy on account of the atom bomb not being on HG Wells' radar when he wrote the script, but the feudal warfare that follows the establishment of the first postwar societies has a charming feel to it, like seeing a really posh BBC remake of Mad Max that's all about farmers and coalminers having harsh words.

Peace On Earth - a charming christmas cartoon from the 1930s about animals learning where all the humans went.  You can have a butchers here if you fancy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8OYvHPpGDY

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.  I didn't hate it as much as the first time I saw it, but the cgi still overpowers the visuals, like the jeep chase which has analogues in Raiders and Crusade but looks far too fake and is thus lacking in tension here.  The tone is also all over the place, being a bit too panto here and there, and Ford looks far too old for the role even though that's the entire point of his character.  Fun, mind, and that's the main thing.

[Beaky Smoochies]

I AM LEGEND

OK, the CGI Vampzombie things are very poor when they come rushing out of the woodwork (and scaling walls) and having superhuman strength and speed but I really enjoyed this. Will Smith is good, the devestated New York is expertly realised and it has some very tense moments and some good scares. And I'm a sucker for the [spoiler]upbeat [/spoiler] ending.

You can try and convince me it's crap because it's "hollywood" or you hate Will Smith or the original novella was better (it might be, I've never read it) or the Charlton Heston version is better (it might be, it's so long since I saw it but I don't think it was). 

But I still enjoyed it.

Have you checked out the DVD director's cut (which was actually shown on the Irish language TG4 channel very recently), it's a better and more rounded version, in my opinion, and the ending is more faithful to the spirit of the source material, the only trouble with it is that it still should not have had the rather intrusive black title-card at the beginning (save it for the end credits), and Will Smith should have vocalised what Richard Matheson spelled out in his book, that is;[spoiler] he has become a living myth, a breathing urban legend, and he has become what we once held vampires, werewolves, fairies, etc as, hence why he leaves the city, which he recognises as legitimately mutant territory[/spoiler].  All in all, I actually thought it was a refreshing and excellent little movie, a pity the CGI wasn't a little better (the director wanted another six months but the studio wanted it out, same old story), but a very good film nonetheless...

[Tiplodocus]

Out of curiosity, would this extended cut have more of the woman that started the virus (Kripps?) because I swear the photo they showed was Emma Thompson - and it would make sense if she actually had a bigger part in the film.

It was only the vampire/lions CGI that was crap; I thought all the environmental stuff was really well done.

SHERLOCK - A scandal in Belgravia
(does this count as a film? It was long enough).
Thoroughly enjoyed this - first one of this modern interpretation that I've seen.  I like the various techniques for showing texts and computer stuff (why has nobody done this before? Or have they) and Holmes' deductive powers. 

Thought it kept the nudity/sauciness on the right side of the line; important to the storytelling and underpinned with some clever humour. A nice mix of puzzles you could work out and puzzles you couldn't and top notch performances from the three leads (the lass that played Irene was really good and not just because she was easy on the eye).  Even Mark Gattiss didn't get on my wick. 

Some bemusement in the first five minutes because  I thought these were standalone tales and didn't get the Moriarty stuff. 

Moffatt must be having a ball writing these - it's very dense with an abundance of clever ideas and some utterly fantastic dialogue (some of it tossed in so casually when a lesser writer/cast/director would have emphasised the setup/punchline)

I'd have been chuffed just with the one clever use of "The trouble with disguises is that they always end up being self-portraits" but to do it twice and have the solution to the recurring phone lock puzzle hanging off it was inspired. 

The Tips family shall be watching more.

[Richmond Clements]

Out of curiosity, would this extended cut have more of the woman that started the virus (Kripps?) because I swear the photo they showed was Emma Thompson - and it would make sense if she actually had a bigger part in the film.

We saw it in the cinema, and she's in the movie getting interviewed on the TV about a new cancer cure drug.
Which annoyed me no end, because that was an idea I had had for a zombie story too...

[Roger Godpleton]

I saw Sherlock Holmes 2 and I thought that the direction was far too restrained.

[DoomBot]

Watched the new Conan film last night. I'm a huge R.E.Howard fan so I was expecting to sit and mutter about how wrong it all was all the way through. I didn't...much. I thought Jason Momoa makes a good Conan. Some of the environments I felt were spot on too. But it needed to be darker and grittier.

Oh and the plot/story was just rubbish

Ho hum 

[Keef Monkey]

We watched Smart People, which is a bit of a Quirky Indie Rom-comTM. It was okay, Dennis Quaid's character could have just been unlikeable in another actor's hands but he makes you root for him even though he's a bit of a dick. I found it quite forgettable, but it did warm my cockles a bit so I'm glad I watched it.

[I, Cosh]

Jesus, is that the Tekken movie with the lesbian incest and very little actual fighting despite having Gary "at this stage of my career I will fuck you up for food" Daniels knocking about?  That film gives trash a bad name and makes Double Dragon look good.

That's the one. I completely forgot to mention the glaring absence of fighting so thanks for that. Can't remember if I ever saw Double Dragon but I might look it up now.

Saw Escape From LA all the way through for the first time last night, as when I went to the pictures it started about fifteen minutes in. Annoying as that was, at least it meant it was fifteen minutes shorter. A totally pointless exercise in beat-by-beat recreation of the original but with less excitement, fun or wit in every scene. Snake's effortless cool just about carries you along but ultimately, what was the point?

Georges Corraface (?) is no Isaac Hayes.

[Roger Godpleton]

If you like lesbians and fighting games the King of Fighters has Vice and Mature in it. And it also has Ray Park as Rugal and they let him say things in this movie.


How much of a resemblance to their digital counterparts do "Nina" and "Anna" bear? I have a friend who is very eager to know this.

[Professor Bear]

Like most men, I like lesbians because I think I might get to join in, it's just the incest stuff in Tekken that loses me.

How much of a resemblance to their digital counterparts do "Nina" and "Anna" bear? I have a friend who is very eager to know this.

[Roger Godpleton]

That is one of the least erotic things I have ever seen.

[I, Cosh]

That is one of the least erotic things I have ever seen.

Later they wear ninja suits.