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Author Topic: The Black Dog Thread  (Read 77278 times)

Tjm86

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #600 on: 12 July, 2021, 07:21:12 PM »
Before volunteering at the Oxfam bookshop I had practically no self confidence and it had helped a lot there even if I was feeling down a lot of the time, but to have that...person....downright reject me coming back has undone a lot of that, although I've decided to try and volunteer elsewhere I no longer feel anywhere near as sure of myself.

TBH Jade, that is something I can relate to on so many levels.  It feels like you have a passion for literature that needs to be realised.  For someone with 'pseudo-management' experience to question that ... that is where I can understand the issue.

Can I offer a counter to that?  This is one dimension of you.  Has she rejected you or is she challenged by your knowledge / experience (consider that for years Oxfam has been ripped off by collectors with more knowledge than they have, yet they have not so much failed to capitalise on that as tried to emulate it and ended up castigated for that ...)

Turn that around though ... how else could you share that knowledge / passion?  What would a blog of the books you found interesting look like?  This branch of Oxfam is not interested in your skills / knowledge?  Well, you've an audience here who would like to know more ...  How about we look at ways of turning it into a viable business blog?  [plus it has the added advantage of giving you distance from folks and the potential anxiety-inducing experience of dealing with customers].

This 'person' may have many reasons for dealing with you the way that they did.  That does not delegitimise the effect on you.  The question now is how can we help you to turn things around.  I think your knowledge and love of books is an asset we need to work with.

Tjm86

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #601 on: 12 July, 2021, 07:32:42 PM »

"Well," he said, "that is something that will become clear as we progress. In these cases, it is customary to begin with a few milligrams of happyclappozine."


See when you dig into the history of pharmaceutical approaches to mental health, this little anecdote strays from 'mildly amusing' to 'terrifyingly accurate'.  The simple truth of the matter is that very few anti-anxiolotics were specifically designed.  They are generally happy accidents as a result of anti-arthritic or other medications.

For most patients, the trial and error approach of even the likes of SSRI's is down to the fact that even the manufacturers are not sure about the efficacy.  The evidence base actually resembles a dart board used by your local blind association darts team.

Jade Falcon

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #602 on: 12 July, 2021, 08:41:33 PM »
TBH Jade, that is something I can relate to on so many levels.  It feels like you have a passion for literature that needs to be realised.  For someone with 'pseudo-management' experience to question that ... that is where I can understand the issue.

Can I offer a counter to that?  This is one dimension of you.  Has she rejected you or is she challenged by your knowledge / experience (consider that for years Oxfam has been ripped off by collectors with more knowledge than they have, yet they have not so much failed to capitalise on that as tried to emulate it and ended up castigated for that ...)

Turn that around though ... how else could you share that knowledge / passion?  What would a blog of the books you found interesting look like?  This branch of Oxfam is not interested in your skills / knowledge?  Well, you've an audience here who would like to know more ...  How about we look at ways of turning it into a viable business blog?  [plus it has the added advantage of giving you distance from folks and the potential anxiety-inducing experience of dealing with customers].

This 'person' may have many reasons for dealing with you the way that they did.  That does not delegitimise the effect on you.  The question now is how can we help you to turn things around.  I think your knowledge and love of books is an asset we need to work with.

They seem to be all over the place.  They had a small pile of kits in the shop.  They wanted £35 for an old 1970's mould Airfix Saab Viggen, granted it was a rerelease, but there are newer kits cheaper.  I'm not saying I know it all, when I joined I learned a lot of authors I wasn't familiar with.  The fiction is divided in adult anyway, into Crime and General.  There's also a Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Horror section.  Their policy on hardbacks was not to keep standard ones too long, and I persuaded the first manager I had to relax that on Sci-Fi and Fantasy as there are often long running series like the Ben Bova Planets series, Wheel of Time etc, not to mention series like Discorld, and that SF and Fantasy don't have anywhere near the sheer amount that the other genres do.

Now the shop is in havoc.  Books on local history for example are ones I would put in the window as they generally sold quickly, ditto with specialist military, books on Clyde Steamers etc, but now its so, to use a Scots word, dreich.  Not to mention prices are going up.

milstar

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #603 on: 18 July, 2021, 08:10:19 PM »
I remember this as one of the greatest inspirational speeches, regardless the form and context.



Even with all drawbacks in life, I believe there is always a reason to move forward. I mean, look at me, I was deeply sorrowful two weeks ago over the ending of Bioshock Infinite the main and both eps. And such things can make an impact on me (like Spiderman Night Gwen Stacy Died), but I figured I shouldn't feel fucked up over such trite bollocks. Life is more richful and diverse than that. Bottom line, there's always a reason to move forward. If there's not, create one.
Reyt, you lot. Shut up, belt up, 'n if ye can't see t' bloody exit, ye must be bloody blind.

Jade Falcon

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #604 on: 24 July, 2021, 09:41:08 PM »
Last week got even worse, I popped into the bookshop to have a look.  The woman I used to work with said there was a bag with some stuff that was for the main shop, could i take it over, (basically across the car park).

When I did so, the assistant manager said "You can't do that, you're not a volunteer" etc.

Later I wish I had said "You f***ing made that plain", but instead I just walked out shaking my head.

I've decided I'm going to raise a formal complaint with Oxfam.  That pair of muppets were going on about how I apparently wasn't 'respectful', well, pardon my language, but fuck it, that goes both ways.  Continually feeling like you're being treated like something they've scraped off their shoes is not bloody on.

Oxfam really is downright insane with prices, for instance a Robert Opie jigsaw, priced at £15, that is insane for a used jigsaw.

Another thing that had got me about that mental health nurse was the first thing she said to me was "I've been in this job for 16 years", which seemed to be an instant dismissal and a case of "I know it all".  I still can't get proper sleep patterns despite trying desperately and just feel totally off.

Tjm86

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #605 on: 25 July, 2021, 12:22:08 PM »
Much as it galls, Jade, saying nothing was the best course.  Worth remember the old adage: "never argue with an idiot.  They bring you down to their level then beat you by using their superior experience."

As for the AM's comment, well unless you were paid to carry the bag across the car park then yes you were a volunteer.  The idiocy of the remark doesn't bear thinking about.

Oxfam seem to be doing a good job at the moment of putting the backs up people across the country.  As we've said before, you aren't the first person to complain about this.

... and as for the MH nurse, sheesh!  I hate that one ... "been there, done that, got the t-shirt ..."  It's up there with the line of questioning that sounds sincere but makes you feel like you're apparently making everything up or it's all in your head (okay, yes, I know!).

BTW ... if you do figure out how to get a proper sleep pattern going can you let us in on your secret?  You know, before you market it and make your fortune so you can buy your own bookshop and 'volunteer' in it?

Jade Falcon

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #606 on: 25 July, 2021, 06:32:17 PM »
One more comment about the nurse, I had said that life got to the stage that each day you wonder what the point is in going on, what is there to look forward to etc, and I mentioned how twice I'd attempted to end it.  Somehow it came up in the conversation that due to me getting my PIP, I had taken my old VW into the garage to get a drivers side wing replaced due to bad rust.

You know what she said

"If life is worthless and you want to end it, why did you put your car in for repair?"

Speechless.

Tjm86

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #607 on: 25 July, 2021, 06:34:55 PM »
Speechless?  Try "absolutely bloody livid!"  WTFH is she doing in that job?   :o

The Legendary Shark

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #608 on: 25 July, 2021, 06:51:17 PM »

WTFH is she doing in that job?   :o


Collecting a pay-cheque.

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Jade Falcon

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #609 on: 11 August, 2021, 08:25:01 PM »
Well I decided to try and apply for another voluntary position in the Ayrshire Hospice.  The charity shops are apparently crying out for volunteers, the interview seemed to go well and the manager seemed nice but said the form had to go to their head office.

Today I get an email saying I'm rejected.  What the f**k is wrong with these people?  I suspect that they have went to Oxfam despite me providing two other references and that manager has said something negative.

I'm going to try and get feedback and if I find out that is what happened, I think I'll be having words.  That piece of scum shouldn't be in a job like that.

The Legendary Shark

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Jade Falcon

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #611 on: 11 August, 2021, 11:32:08 PM »
Unfortunately that doesn't help with the situation, it's loathsome that this 'manager' could be telling lies about me and I want the record set straight.  I'm going to put a formal complaint into Oxfam head office because that idiot couldn't run a bath.

The Legendary Shark

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #612 on: 12 August, 2021, 12:42:27 AM »

To offer a counterpoint to that - in my experience, formal complaints take a lot of time, energy and emotion for very little (if any) satisfaction. You could pour your energies into that, sure - and if you do I wish you all the best - or you could treat it with the contempt such things deserve and concentrate on something more worthy instead. You have brains and talent and a need to do something worthwhile and positive. Don't let those swampwombles drag you down into their loathsome mire, they aren't worth the effort. Find something that is.


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Jade Falcon

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #613 on: 12 August, 2021, 01:58:07 AM »
Well it's not just that, if she is telling lies that are affecting any further opportunities I take extreme issue with that.  That's possibly harmful.

The Legendary Shark

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Re: The Black Dog Thread
« Reply #614 on: 12 August, 2021, 09:54:55 AM »

I get that, I really do. I had police from Skelmersdale station do the same to me and it is deeply irritating and damaging. Thing is, people in power have friends who are in power so that when evidence like actual cctv footage from inside Skelmersdale police station that would have shown exactly what happened mysteriously became unavailable for viewing in "court" and suchlike, nobody was interested. I tied myself up in angry knots over that for a year and more but all it achieved was more irritation.

If your nemesis is telling lies, she's not going to admit it and it's going to be your word against hers in a world where your word means nothing. I wouldn't blame you for trying to right this wrong - I've spent enough of my own time attempting the same thing, after all - but my advice would be to let it go for now, which is hard, and to use that energy for something positive. If you were to start your own charity, and even if it only becomes locally and moderately successful, you'll get a chance to swipe back through press interviews and your eventual OBE acceptance speech - then you can publicly forgive her and thank her for providing the impetus behind your work. She'll hate that.

Revenge is best served old.

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Dive a little deeper - all is not as it seems. "Cyber pandemic" on the way. Devices to be "quarantined" (disconnected).