VOTING THREAD - The Greatest Twothy Tales Never Told - 27th Forum Story Comp

[Lady Festina]

Bit late but here it is, the voting thread for the 27th 2000AD Forum Story Competition!!

Our theme this month: tell us the tale you wish had been told in 35 years of prog-dom. A small crop of entries for your delectation and your votes. Delighted to welcome returning writers Richmond Clements and Dounreay to the Comp, as well as newbies DavidBlack and, um, Bolt-01.

You know what to do: Top 3 and an Honourable Mention. If I could have your votes by midnight on Friday 21 December, I'll do results in time for Christmas :-)

I'll let you know when to start!

[Lady Festina]

David Black
Untitled

"What happened to the first one?" asked Nicola as she tapped in the code to open the securidoor.

"The usual, he got sought and destroyed." came her companion's reply.

His ID card said his name was Harper, but Nicola had her doubts it was real. She ran his ID three times and nothing untoward showed up. She didn't want to make him angry and yet she couldn't stop herself asking questions. She didn't want to find out how many questions would be too many.

The heavy door slowly glided open and the lights flickered sporadically as they entered a large room dominated by three large metal cabinets in front of a smaller dais.

Nicola moved from one cabinet to the next to the next as she checked the life-signs readouts. Her companion kept one eye on the door and combed the shadows in the corners of the room with the other.

The silence was too much for Nicola. She looked over at Harper and awkwardly said "The boys call them coffins."

Harper looked at her and frowned. Seeing his reaction she explained "Oh, I meant the stasis cabinets. It's just that most of people we have on ice are either criminals avoiding the death penalty or medical cases avoiding..."

Nicola chuckled and looked over at him. She laughed alone.

"Well I suppose they're avoiding another sort of death penalty."

Harper said nothing.

"It's so rare that we ever let anybody out, they might as well be dead," she continued as she crossed to the dais. She wiped a thick layer of dust off the dais and pushed a couple of buttons as all three cabinets lit up.
Harper wheeled around to look at them. His eyes darted between cabinets.

"So which one do you want?" Nicola asked.

"What?"

"Well, the paperwork doesn't specify which corpse you want", then she pointed at the dais and asked "Should I push button one, two or three?"

She felt uncomfortable as he joined her at the dais and she apologised, adding "This is no way to talk about your friend."

The sword slid through her ribs with ease and cleft her in two.

"He's not my friend."

He wiped Nicola's blood off his sword. She'd never know how right she was to have doubted him. His name wasn't Harper.

He pushed one half of Nicola away from the dais with his foot and pushed all three buttons. A computer voice started a countdown and he stepped in front of the dais. As the countdown neared its end he raised his sword in readiness. It was time.

At zero, the three cabinet doors swung open as one and out stepped Johnny Beta, Johnny Gamma and Johnny Delta.

[Lady Festina]

Eamon1961
The Reclaimer: Part one

When I look back at my past, it's like looking at somebody else's life. I used to be so many different people. I guess we all did.

There was that young girl back on earth, the one obsessed with the clothes she wore. The biggest problem she had to deal with was shopping, or some freaky cult. That girl is gone now.

So is the young woman who worked as a waitress on a starship. She danced with a fairy tale Prince, saved a King, slayed a Dragon, and met someone really important, I just can't remember who that was.

The woman who went to war is gone too. Amidst all the blood and the horrors she found the most precious thing in the universe, and then she threw it away.

After the warrior there were other women: the slave, the gladiator, the rebel. And then, for a short while, the Queen. That woman killed a man, and as she did so she killed something else inside herself.

All those women are dead now. There's just me. My future self will probably call me a pirate, but I'm just doing a job. I have this ship and my crew. People pay us to go someplace, find something or someone, and then take them somewhere else. I do things that others won't do, but when you've fought in a forgotten war nothing seems that hard any more.

I wish I could find that young girl from the Hoop. I'd like to talk to her and tell her some stuff, maybe warn her, maybe tell her what to watch out for. But I can't, she's dead. They're all dead now.

My name is Halo Jones.

I went out, and I'm still out there.

Somewhere ... somewhen.

[Lady Festina]

Bolt-01
Sam Slade- Robo-Hunter in THE FIRST LAW.

The lift doors opened. Sam cursed.

Fifteen floors up, partially built building, robot crew all around him. Normally that wouldn't be a problem, but right now Sam has no weaponry and the only way to communicate with the droids is through Cutie.

'Cutie, open communications with Boss terminal, voice recognition settings.' Sam hopes Cutie can communicate with the Boss - the semi-mobile terminal acting as the brain for the welders, lifters, riveters and Grud only knows how many other droids needed to erect the colossal skyscraper frame.

'Sam, the boss can hear you now, and will answer through me.'

'Thanks Cutie, you're a doll.' Sam touched the robo-meter on his hip, wondering for the millionth time how he would ever manage without her. 'Boss, can you tell me why you stopped work?'

The Boss was meant to complete this section of the skyscraper last week, but had stopped and was refusing to acknowledge commands from the construction crew main terminal across the city. Sam was the first robo-hunter called who was prepared to make the climb up to check the problem at source. However, Sam could take no weaponry onto the site as the droids were also the security detail. He had seen vids of how effective they were.

'A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.' The boss responded, through Cutie.

Sam was puzzled. 'Boss, I am the only human in the building, clarify response.'

'A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.'

Sam was thinking. The Boss and his team were old models, ready for the scrap heap, so their processors  were probably full of bugs and glitches from years of physical abuse and exposure to the harsh elements of their situation.

'Cutie, can you run anything that looks at the Boss' memory for human data input? It obviously thinks there is a human here. Maybe there is a malfunction somewhere?'

It only took a few minutes to discover that the droids were avoiding the access shaft to the other floors - this was not good. Sam peered over the lip of the shaft and saw the body of some poor unfortunate that must have fallen from above. Looking at the layout of the boss' rails it was obvious what the droid was going through.

Cutie beat him to the punchline. 'Sam, the boss is looping. It needs to send a fault report but can't. If the boss reports the body, it will automatically shut down and move to the basement hub, but to move it will damage the body. I've contacted the head office and they are calling the authorities. We need to get back downstairs to meet them.'

Sam mused on this as he headed back to the lift. 'Ah, damned if you do, damned if you don't. Even Droids get that problem.'

[Lady Festina]

Richmond Clements
The VCs: Dropping a Bomb

Smith ducked his head down below the rim of the crater again.

The energy blots from the geek weapons impacted on the dirt at the. Red hot soil pattered onto his helmet. The noise briefly made him think of Earth, of home. Of rain showers. Of birds. How long had it been since he had heard a bird singing? Or listened to a river? No time for that now. And if he wanted to see Earth again, he'd better shape up, and quick.

He tried his comms. Still no signal.

Maybe just as well. If Jupe and the others knew he'd been caught like this...

Clunk

His reverie was interrupted by the squat, grey object that had just landed in the crater. A green light was flashing on the side. Grenade.

Smith didn't have time to think. He thumbed the control for his jump pack. He could feel the heat from the afterburners on the backs of his legs. His stomach lurched as he shot into the sky just ahead of the white hot plasma ball unleashed by the geek grenade. The filters on his lenses darkened to almost pitch black to compensate.

He turned in mid-air, riding the wall of heat.

Smith cast his eyes downwards looking for – ah, there. The Geek patrol who had caught him short. He still had his gun in his hand, of course.

Smith pitched, bringing himself around.

The Geeks hadn't seen him take off, he reckoned, as they were still looking at the crater.

Big mistake. Underestimating a VC.

Smith swooped, depressing the trigger on his weapon as he did so. Bullets ploughed through the first two Geeks, turning them into mush instantly. The final two had just enough time to figure out what had happened. One of them looked up at him. It managed to dive out of the way of the shots, but the other one died.

Smith landed, he didn't have time to act before the Geek ran at him, screaming something he didn't understand and waving a long, curved blade. The blade fell, Smith sidestepped. And just in time. He felt the whisper of the blade as it brushed his leg.

Another swing, another dodge. The damned thing wasn't giving him time to left his weapon.

Smith kicked out as the Geek moved towards him again, contacting painfully with its leg. He felt his toe crack. But it worked. The Geek paused in the assault long enough for Smith to lift his gun.

"You're vaped," Smith said and fired, cutting the Geek clean in half.

Smith took a moment to get his breath back, before returning to the crater.

He was relieved to see his boots and trousers were still there and relatively unscathed. Just a bit of crisping at the edge.

He pulled them on, cursing his stupidity again, and promising that the next time he needed a crap, he'd choose a more secluded spot.

[Lady Festina]

Bbgunn
Untitled

.time in backwards travelling was fan comics the, Twisters Time reading While 

[Lady Festina]

Alski
Too Much Thrill Power

"Drokk!" said Dredd, spittle spraying from his mouth and hitting Hershey square in the eye. "Stomm!" he added for good measure, managing, against the odds, to get the other eye.

"Feck!" said Judge Murphy, who was feeling left out since Garth Ennis has stopped writing Dredd.

"I think we could be in trouble, Joe," breathed Hershey sexily, wiping her eyes.

"No shit, Fleshy Ones!" said Call-Me -Kenneth, who had forgotten he was dead.

In front of them was The Portal, so large it deserved capital letters. It had appeared a few hours ago, and Justice Department had surrounded it, unable to get near it due to a very technical thing that shall not be detailed.

"Hurr hurrr", said Fergee, not to be confused with Fergie, a film character for whom no death could be slow or painful enough.

"Cwipes!" said Walter The Wobot, who was still shit and one 'Massah' away from being a negro slave caricature.

"Where are all these dead people coming from?" asked Hershey, wiggling her bottom.

"It's The Portal," explained a Tech Judge smarmily. Dredd punched him.

"We know that, Hawking! How is it doing it? And who is THAT?"

Whilst Tech Judge Hawking launched into an incredibly technical explanation, Marshall Law walked out of The Portal. He had barbed wire round his arms and looked quite pervy.

"I'm a hero hunter," he explained. "I haven't found any yet."

Dredd shot him. In the balls.  Pat Mills cried a bit.

The flow of interesting characters increased, with the ABC Warriors, Bill Savage, Bonjo From Beyond The Stars, M.A.C.H 1, the Visible Man, Halo Jones, the Dark Judges,  The Harlem Heroes, Bec & Kawl, Dan Dare,, D.R & Quinch, Ro-Busters, Torquemada, Nemesis The Warlock, Carver Hale, The VC's, Big Dave, Those twats from Vector 13, the cowboy fellas from Flesh, Finn, Sinister and Dexter, Harry Twenty, Nick Stone, Sam Slade, Samantha Slade, Rogue Trooper, the OTHER Rogue Trooper, Dirty Frank, Durham Red (phwoar!), Johnny Alpha...

Basically, EVERY character that has EVER appeared in 2000AD.  How ARSOM is that!

"Bollocks to this," said Brian Bolland. "I told you I hate crowd scenes, I'm pissing off to America to make a packet drawing Animal Man covers."

And so the greatest 2000AD story EVER was left untold.

Awww....

[Lady Festina]

Dounreay
A DAME WALKS INTO MY OFFICE

Yeah, yeah, I know it's a cliché but it's gotta happen some time, right?

It's just gone eleven o' clock, breakfast time for simping detectives everywhere. This morning I'm having a smoke and a hangover for breakfast. Plain, simple fare but it suits me.

She was classy, the way only rich folks are. Her perfume was sweet and musky, like a whispered promise. Did I also mention she was gorgeous? I mean really. As in, you'd-drink-her-used-bath-water-gorgeous. But I didn't fall off my chair or poke myself in the eye with my smoke or let my tongue hang out. Detective school lesson one. Always play it cool.

"Jack Point?" she says in a voice that's strong and used to being listened to.  Several thoughts run around in my head just hearing that voice. Mostly, they don't manage to run into each other.

"That's what it says on the door, sister." See how cool I played it?

"I need your help."

"Come in. Tell me what  I can do for you." Customer focussed detecting. I read about it somewhere.

Her heels made that click-clacking sound on the floor. She didn't exactly strut but it wasn't far off.  She settled back in her chair and crossed her legs. Most guys would be howling at the moon by now but old Jacky boy is made of sterner stuff.

"Someone is trying to kill me, Mr Point."

"I see" I said with what I thought was an appropriate level of gravitas.  She gave me an appraising look. I reached into a drawer and drew out a whisky bottle and a glass. Her scarlet lips made a little moue and she gave me a different look.

"And you want me to find them?". I gave myself a mental pat on the back for a fine piece of deduction.

"No Mr Point. I know who is trying to kill me. I want you to try and stop it."

I gave myself a mental squeeze on the shoulder and a "there, there".  First bit of detecting of the day and all.

"So. Who's trying to kill you?"

"I am."

I paused, then poured a shot into my glass. "Lady, it's not a detective you need".

She smiled at me then. Full on, lips parted, teeth showing and my heart lurched.

"I'm not suicidal, Mr Point.  I've been set up twice now, both times it was meant to look like murder. Both times I was lucky to escape. The only person who knew enough to set it up is me.   You're the detective, you work it out."

She stood then and leaned across the desk, her body moving with  fluid grace. She took my hand in hers.

"Help me Mr Point. Please."

Part of me was shouting about remember the first lesson but the bongo drums going off below the waistband of my pants were making it hard to hear.

"Shu-shu-sure," I stammered.

[Lady Festina]

LET THE VOTING COMMENCE!!

I'll start with mine:

1. Richmond Clements, for an ending that I didn't expect!
2. Alski, for more characters than should be allowed
3. Dounreay, for remaining classy :-)

HM: bbgunn for packing so much genius into so few words

[Eamonn Clarke]

1. Bolt-R
2. Dounreay
3. Alski

HM -David Black for firsties

[Bolt-01]

1. His Lordship RAC
2. Eamonn1961
3. David black
HM. Douneray.

Quite enjoyed this, so I'll try to join in more often.

[Dandontdare]

1. Alski - I laughed out loud, and it made me nostalgic for Roger's tales of robo-Guthrie.
2. rRchmond Clemens
3. Bolt-01

HM -bbgun

[Alski]

1 - David Black
2 - Eamon 1961
3 - Richmond Clements

[Kerrin]

Excellent stuff Squaxx!

1. Eamon1961.
2. Richmond Fotheringuay-Clements.
3. Dounreay.

HM. David Black.

[Dounreay]

1. Alski
2. Richmond
3. Eamon