Ask Sage Max Inain Questions And Hear His Pearls Of Wisdom

[Artificial Idiot]

How many ways can you skin a cat?

[Roger Godpleton]

Sorry, I meant "Crying all alone on the bathroom floor"


Won't happen again.

[WoD]

Should I buy a Nintendo DS c/w nintendogs?

[Satanist]

Why would someone ask for inane questions then bugger off and answer hardly any of them?

[Lobo Baggins]

If a bear shits in  the woods and there's no one there to hear it, is the Pope Catholic?

[Max Kon]

wow, look what happens when you go for a nap.

The satanist: Rooster

Dudly D. Dudson: No

Dark Jimbo: They either become depressed or get over it

Lobo Baggins: no idea, i've never watched Dr Who (shocking!)

The Satanist: yes, they were just being polite

fate amenable to change: many millions.

Artificial Idiot: a crap one

Lobo Baggins: yes, tell the truth always!

johnnystress: yes. But it is a common hat for monkeys, so is of little comical interest

fate amenable to change: that's not a question

Lobo Baggins: in the field, it loves you really, even though it's never met you

The Krust: have a rap sung about me by 2pac after i got killed, as long as my name is Brenda that is

House of Usher: which week? 'He's not heavy he's my brother' was top of the english charts the week i was born

Artificial Idiot: 57

The Krust: quite alright

WoD: if you want one and have the money spare

The Satanist: because i needed a nap

Lobo Baggins: yes

Sage Max

[Conexus]

WoD: if you're the type that goes 'Awwwhh!' at puppies, but can't afford/ain't allowed a real puppy, then yes

[WoD]

I do like puppies...and the wife won't let me have an animal...hmmm....

[Max Kon]

then get a nintendog

[Mr C]

I have an itchy elbow. Why can I not lick it with my sand papery tongue?

[Max Kon]

Mr C: because you didn't try hard enough. If i can do it so can you.


DUDEAMON2005 emailed me this question:

wats the ultimate T.O.E? (theory of everything)

it is what it is
everything is linked, like in a blanket. Right now there is a link of atoms from me to you. But it is also seperate there are tiny gaps between every link in that chain.

This is fun :)

[Bico]

Dear Max:
If all matter in the universe is nothing more than energy vibrating at the same wavelength, and no energy can be destroyed or created, how come Clark Kent still lives in Smallville?  I mean, the only thing in the world that can hurt him, and the whole town is covered - if not actually MADE from it - so why doesn't he move?  Are his parents stupid, or do they just hate him?
I know I do. Almost as much as I hate his crappy tv show.

[Byron Virgo]

Dear Max,

Why does the Bear keep going on about Smallville all the fucking time? And why does he always use the exact same criticism on every bloody occasion? Is he like some ursine version of Guy Pearce in Memento, and his memory resets goldfish-style every few minutes/seconds?

This would certainly explain a lot.

And what's the deal with Jeph Loeb?

[Max Kon]

Professor Bear: well, maybe the boy scout is all braun no brian. And they should hate him!

Byron Virgo: Because he is only a little bit smarter than the average bear. Lord only knows how he managed to become a Professor.

Well, he's not that bad a writer, but he is executive producer of Buffy the Vampire Slayer animated series and supervising producer of Smallville. So really we should all shun him.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer animated series? Is the world no filled with enough evil already?

[Artificial Idiot]

There's an animated series now?!

Grud alors...