Y'know what really grinds my gears?

[Hawkmumbler]

Japanese porn

yeah, I'm not clicking on that. If I want Japanese porn, I know how to find it myself thank you very much

And you call me a weeb, sickening, I am shocked and appalled.

Tagata Jinja Phallic Festival – An ema – votive plaque – depicting a male member

But a 'male member' of what? There's something shadowy going aboot here. 

[The Legendary Shark]

A member of the Cockermouth Steam-Powered Knob Preservation Society, or, as it's known locally, The Conservative Party.

[The Doctor Alt 8]

I bought my cat expensive delivered to the door cat food as it claims to be fresh and made of actual meat (as opposed to "regular" cat food.) Dorian is getting more & more fussy and I am concerned about his health. The result? After eating three of the pouched he refused to touch it ever again. 

[The Legendary Shark]

My dog will eat virtually anything. Last year, I caught him ever-so-gently pilfering raspberries directly off the bush outside the door of the Sharkshed. I didn't tell him off but he looked at me all innocent like, with "Who? Me? Really?" plastered all over his angelic face, along with quantities of raspberry juice that even a government sponsored investigator couldn't miss.

This is one of the many reasons why dogs are better than cats.

Discuss. (Might as well, the can's open now and there's worms all over the show.)

[JohnW]

My solution would be to invent a PJ Maybe bug to inject vodka into him while he sleeps, till he eventually inadvertently drives to work pissed and loses his licence.

Or replace the vodka with ebola for a similar outcome.

I was discussing the drawbacks of inner-city living with a neighbour a while back.
I was toying with a Mega-City-style solution, whereby the populace would be continually dosed with tranquillisers delivered by way of, say, crisps.
My neighbour, however, is all for selling paraquat in beer cans. He isn't advocating any deception. The receptacles might look like beer cans, but they'd be clearly labelled as paraquat.
However, it would be spelt 'Päraquät' in ornate gold lettering surrounded by hops and barley motifs. Also, the stuff would be for sale in off-licences.
There'd be the usual warnings you get on dangerous chemicals, but they'd be overshadowed by a lurid green starburst sign advertising '6 for €4.99!'
Yeah OK– so it's herbicide, but c'mon – six cans for a fiver. That's even cheaper than Dutch Gold, and there probably isn't that much difference in the taste.

My neighbour is thinking of making a run for local government.

[The Legendary Shark]

He's going to do well.

[Proudhuff]

Gets my vote! Six cans for a fiver! Take my money

[JohnW]

This is one of the many reasons why dogs are better than cats.

Discuss. (Might as well, the can's open now and there's worms all over the show.)

I'm not an animal person (as you can guess from the following) but, the dogshit on the street notwithstanding, I'd have to choose dogs over cats.
If you look beyond the cute furriness, cats are about as attractive as monitor lizards.
They are cold in their affections, sinister in their movements, and predatory in their habits.
Dogs might be noisy and a bit thick, but they're not out there exterminating the smaller wildlife just for laughs.

But it's some of the owners who grind my gears. If you're going to ascribe human traits to your cat, just admit that it's an exploitative psychopath, and not a mischievous little rascal.

(I will now button up my vitriol-resistant coat and take cover from venting spleens.)

[paddykafka]

https://media.tenor.com/RCMb35wVWpoAAAAC/meet-the-parents-robert-de-niro.gif

[The Legendary Shark]

To be fair, my dog kills small animals, too - mainly mice and rats. He is very efficient (when he was a pup, the first mouse he killed was dead in maybe two seconds and he dispatched it like a pro) and quite ruthless. He doesn't stop until whatever he's caught is definitely dead. One of the cats here, however, regularly leaves half-dead young rabbits lying about with crushed spines. While no doubt some instinctive way of keeping meat fresh for later, it's quite evil. And the way they look at you... You just know that if they were big enough they'd be crushing our spines as well. Similarly up-scaled, dogs would still be loyal - although maybe a little less tolerant of asshole owners.

Dogs all the way!

[JayzusB.Christ]

Cold, passionless DNA does not care if rabbits get hurt or not.  I do, but I'm still a cat person - they're low maintenance, and anyone who depends on me 24 hours a day is spugged.

[Hawkmumbler]

It's even funnier when you realize the specific reason we have so many variations of domestic dog and functionally little deviation between cat breeds is because, simply, we never domesticated them.
Paleolithic felines just started letting themselves into early mans huts and homesteads and we just never bothered to ask them to leave.

They domesticated us.

[The Legendary Shark]

Cats are the Illuminati!

Illumeowti?

[Barrington Boots]

I'm a cat dude nowdays, but I try and be a responsible cat owner which means I keep mine indoors. There's some decent wildlife where I live and I'd rather not have him come back with a dead kingfisher or duckling.

Owning Co-habiting with a cat definitely makes you overlook the negative aspects of the little bastards. Not a fan of dogs at all. There's a big field over the back of my house and if ever I want to got for a walk or a quiet sit there the place is full of dogs at all hours rushing about and shitting everywhere whilst their owners smile benignly at my obvious discomfort. The little ones are the worst, they proper have a go at you.

[JohnW]

their owners smile benignly at my obvious discomfort.

Do not – repeat not – get me started on dog owners.