What would be in my ideal 2000ad strip?

[Mary Poppins]

Been reading tooth since the tv ad and stopped chucking them out around the 100s.  So, sitting here passing the spinner to my daughter before she heads off to work and admiring the biotronic stickers with my youngest bother (27), I thought I'd enumerate the elements I look for in a GREAT strip:

1. Dystopian Future - full of crazies, weirdoes and freaks.
2. Occultists or Nazis - ideal baddies whom everyone rightly hates.
3. Chainsaw Wielding Mutant Dinosaurs - one for the kids!
4. Psychotic Sociopaths with Heavy Armour - really old skool.
5. Bizarre Immoral Sex Deviants (male/female/other) - cos the comic grew up.
6. Time Travelling Vampire Zombies.
7. Invert the inversion, then invert it again - example: a cop, by definition is a good guy, but he's racist and fits up a Mexican for rape without due process (the inversion). He gets sacked / dies, alone hated and despised. It turns out the Mexican was guilty - the inversion inverted.  (Watch 'A Touch of Evil' starring Orson Welles if you haven't seen it).
8. Do something unexpected - draw Mohammed and his child bride, show the gentler side to Mussolini, expose the latent fascism in new age/green politics, etc.
9. More guns, explosions and more transvestite cyborgs on speed.
10. Deliberately lampoon pompous celebrities with thinly disguised attacks in print.

[Bouwel]

I think all of the above have been covered by Dredd over the years.

-Bouwel-

[Colin YNWA]

My ideal strip would be one written by me... I suspect many of the rest of you might feel otherwise but hey a man can dream.

[DavidXBrunt]

I doubt any of us are sitting here saying 'my ideal strip is one written by Colin'.

[I, Cosh]

I doubt any of us are sitting here saying 'my ideal strip is one written by Colin'.

Unless it's Colin Powell. With art by Stormin' Norman Schwarzkopf and lettered by Oliver North.

[Colin YNWA]

Arh but he pretends not to be called Colin and pronouces it all funny like.

[The Legendary Shark]

The Adventures of Colon Bowel, transvestite vampire war detective SS officer. Of the future. (By Colin YNWA.)


That should just about cover it.

[Mary Poppins]

Love it!  Here's the start of a story - anyone wanna play?

The Adventures of Colon Bowel – Transvestite SS Dinosaur Detective of the Future

A hard rain teemed mercilessly onto the brooding city as bomb craters flared their phosphorous death glow into the deep maws of the slate grey night.  Patting his jodhpurs, Colon searched for his lighter, a damp cigar hanging limply from rouge-red lips.  His tyrannosaur tail swished as he took a deep puff, pulling his greatcoat closer.
Feeling the soothing silk beneath the uniform caress his green, scaly skin, Bowel sighed heavily.  The siege was now 10 months old.  After emptying the zoo, the troops had emptied the sewers of rats.  Now dinosaur was turning against dinosaur. 

Crazed cannibal dinosaurs roamed the city by night - his city!

[Mary Poppins]

I'll keep going with this - until cancer gets me!

The New Adventures of Colon Bowel – Transvestite SS Dinosaur Detective of the Future

A hard rain teemed mercilessly onto the brooding city as bomb craters flared their phosphorous death glow into the deep maws of the slate grey night.  Patting his jodhpurs, Colon searched for his lighter, a damp cigar hanging limply from rouge-red lips.  His tyrannosaur tail swished as he took a deep puff, pulling his greatcoat closer.
Feeling the soothing silk beneath the uniform caress his green, scaly skin, Bowel sighed heavily.  The siege was now 10 months old.  After eating the zoo, the troops had emptied the sewers of rats.  Now dinosaur was turning against dinosaur. 
Crazed cannibal dinosaurs roamed the city by night - his city!
Stepping back into the shadows, Bowel trod on the remains of his cigar, the miniscule stub now impossible to hold in the hard grip of his painted fingernails.  Movement ahead.  A dank shadow passes fleetingly through the night, the glint of tempered axe steel catching the reflection of a nearby explosion.  Peering over his black, rain soaked Death's-Head cap, Bowel steps into the alley, his paw instantly finding the gun holstered at his side.
"Halt or I shoot!" he commands, raising his sleek Luger through the downpour.  The figure stops, turns its head towards Bowel and flashes cold, dead eyes in his direction.  Not dinosaur he thinks, definitely not dinosaur – whatever this thing is, it's definitely not dinosaur.  The beast holds a bag in its un-clawed hands - body parts, legs and arms poke out from the top, as the rain sweeps the blood from the severed limbs onto the wet ground.  Bowel hesitates, unsure whether the beast is real.  He shakes his head, grunts and the beast is gone. 
Detective Bowel had met his first human.