Last movie watched...

[Dandontdare]

Finally got around to seeing What We Do in the Shadows and it was pretty flipping good. Definitely one for the core collection.

The TV series was pretty good too.

Matt Berry was an inspired bit of casting.

The montage of pornos he'd made through the decades was priceless.

Watched in the wrong order, so I've always avoided the film because I'd probably be disappointed by a feature-length version of a TV show I like, but that doesn't feature the cast I love.

[DaveGYNWA]

Matt Berry was an inspired bit of casting.

I really shouldn't laugh as much as I do at "BAT!!"

[Mardroid]

Finally got around to seeing What We Do in the Shadows and it was pretty flipping good. Definitely one for the core collection.

The TV series was pretty good too.

Matt Berry was an inspired bit of casting.

The montage of pornos he'd made through the decades was priceless.

Watched in the wrong order, so I've always avoided the film because I'd probably be disappointed by a feature-length version of a TV show I like, but that doesn't feature the cast I love.

I can understand that. The film cast are pretty good too though, in their own way.

Small spoiler [spoiler]They actually appear briefly in one of the episodes as members of the vampire council so you've met them already. I guess they've come up in the world since their film debut.[/spoiler]

The series isn't so much a remake of the film as a similar premise (the whole documentary thing) dealing with different vampires in a different part of the same world.

[Keef Monkey]

Went to a dino double bill last night, both films were bad but one was good bad and the other was just bad bad. I also can't remember if I already saw these as a youngster and just wiped them from my memory, they did feel very familiar.

Tammy & The T-Rex (or 'Tanny & The Teenage T-Rex' as the mispelled title card called it) is a screwball splattery gore film where a young Paul Walker has his brain put in an animatronic dinosaur by a mad scientist and then tries to reconnect with his girlfriend (a young Denise Richards) while evading the police and said scientist. He massacres a lot of people along the way and it's knowing enough to be one of those low budget trash movies that's fun to watch. Some gags have dated really badly (aren't gay people hilarious!) but for the most part it's endearingly rubbish. Apparently was originally released as a kids film with all the gore cut out, I feel like if I did see it back in the day it must have been that version.

So that was the good bad film, Theodore Rex was the bad bad film. There are lots of movies that get referred to as total trainwrecks and unwatchable messes, but rarely do you get something that's such a catastrophic failure on every level as this thing. Nothing about it works at all, Whoopi Goldberg clearly doesn't want to be there (I found out afterwards that she tried to back out and was only in it because they sued her and she lost, and you can see she's raging about it), and it looks like genuine money went into it but nobody involved was competent enough to use it (budget was $33 million which is absolutely staggering when you see what a state it is...apparently it held the record for the most expensive film to ever go straight to VHS).

Everything about it looks like it'll be a hilariously bad unintentional laugh riot, but it's all just too awkward to work on even that level. Maybe worth a watch just to see what an actual turkey looks like, I might point people to it next time I hear someone call something like Tank Girl* a total mess, because oh boy you don't know a real turkey until you've seen Theodore Rex.

*Yeah, I like Tank Girl, it's great fun.

[Dandontdare]

Guardians, (AKA The Russki Avengers). Moscow is threatened by ex-KGB super villain scientist, so a hot army major is tasked to reunite a team of all his previous genetic experiments, and frankly they don't take a lot of convincing to get the band back together.

The team comprises of a lame telekinetic who looks like Action Man with Realistic Hair and Beard, can only affect rocks and is into Ben Grimm cosplay; a stereotypically inscrutable super-fast ninja assassin with a tragic backstory and unfeasibly curved swords that you would have to dislocate both your shoulders to draw; an amnesiac invisible girl (but only when wet)(don't) with kick ass Kung Fu skills who can completely regulate her own body temperature, so she doesn't have to wear much (of course); and an angry dude who turns into a bear - as Harry Hill would say, I think we all get the idea with that one. Oh, and Ursus would be too obvious a name so he's called Arsus, which isn't at all silly and made me laugh every fucking time someone said it.

The plot and acting are 100% number dva, but they've thrown a lot of money at it so the action scenes are fun. My favourite bit was when Arsus (snarf), who has now been kitted out with a sweet shoulder mounted machine gun, throws a dude into the air just so he can machine-gun him into oblivion.

I'd give it three (red) stars

[Rately]

Guardians, (AKA The Russki Avengers). Moscow is threatened by ex-KGB super villain scientist, so a hot army major is tasked to reunite a team of all his previous genetic experiments, and frankly they don't take a lot of convincing to get the band back together.

The team comprises of a lame telekinetic who looks like Action Man with Realistic Hair and Beard, can only affect rocks and is into Ben Grimm cosplay; a stereotypically inscrutable super-fast ninja assassin with a tragic backstory and unfeasibly curved swords that you would have to dislocate both your shoulders to draw; an amnesiac invisible girl (but only when wet)(don't) with kick ass Kung Fu skills who can completely regulate her own body temperature, so she doesn't have to wear much (of course); and an angry dude who turns into a bear - as Harry Hill would say, I think we all get the idea with that one. Oh, and Ursus would be too obvious a name so he's called Arsus, which isn't at all silly and made me laugh every fucking time someone said it.

The plot and acting are 100% number dva, but they've thrown a lot of money at it so the action scenes are fun. My favourite bit was when Arsus (snarf), who has now been kitted out with a sweet shoulder mounted machine gun, throws a dude into the air just so he can machine-gun him into oblivion.

I'd give it three (red) stars

Sounds Horrendous.

* Frantically searches Netflix, Amazon and any other number of streaming services to acquire and watch *

[Hawkmumbler]

Off to see The Lighthouse again, got to see it earlier than most back in October for Horrofest Manchester but well worth a revisit, fans of folk horror don;t wont to sleep on this one. A moder classic.

[TordelBack]

Hellboy 3. You know the one I mean. Look, Harbour isn't all that bad but almost everything around him is, starting with horribly miscasting McShane and Milla, two performers who I love just utterly stinking up two key roles.  Every iota of the charm of the first two films has been expunged and replaced with excessive unimaginative swearing and bad CGI ultra-gore. The choice of story is also bizarre, being one that would have worked far better as the basis of a third Perlman movie where we are invested in the character's backstory, than in a reboot, where these origin expositions just get plopped out on the table.

The only real positive is that Baba Yaga and the Gruagach were very nicely realised as practical effects. Oh and Lobster Johnson's cameos.

Anyway, I think The Kid Who Would Be King did the whole thing way, way better.

[Keef Monkey]

Yeah that Hellboy has a load of problems, but I thought Harbour did well and there's some nice visual stuff going on in places so I do still stick it on occasionally. I really wish we'd got a conclusion to the GDT trilogy instead though.

Went to Bad Boys For Life, which I took a while to warm to but once it hits its stride (and sh*t gets real, as them bad boys would say) it's good throwback fun if you have a soft spot for that particular kind of popcorn buddy action movie (which I do). This one isn't Michael Bay, so compared to the massive excess of Bad Boys 2 it actually feels relatively restrained and contemplative. Relatively. I liked it a lot.

[repoman]

Not a great weekend of films.

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019) - well, it's rubbish isn't it?  The only high point in the film is Grace.  She's a liability but as a character she's watchable.  Everything else was awful though.  Especially grumpy Sarah Connor who now looks like Katie Hopkins.

Bliss (2019) - pretentious vampire film.  Terrible acting and story.  I hated everyone in it from the second that I saw them.  Does have some reasonably effective vampy gore but that wasn't enough to save it.  Hated the ending a lot too (not what happened but how it is was shot).

All Hallow's Eve 2 (2015) - horror anthology.  The first one had three stories that were a mixed bag but did introduce a character called Art the Clown.  This one had eight stories and some pumpkin masked killer.  Some good stories, plenty of rubbish ones.  Okay overall.

It Came From the Desert (2017) - daft giant ant comedy horror.  Rubbish CGI, ridiculous characters but overall it was a lot of fun and had a fair bit of heart.  Based on the 90s Amiga game, and that features in the credits.

[Rately]

Batman Begins!

One of those movies I happily watch every time it pops up on some obscure, newly re-named ITV channel in the late of night.

The story is well told, the cast are excellent and it features lots of Fuk Yeah moments, that you can't help but be swept up in.

Christopher Nolan does a great job of retelling Batman's origin in such a way that it helps build the character, and moves the momentum of the plot along. I could gripe about the obvious set-ups, but they are so well done that by the time Batman murders Rhas Al Ghul, I'm just fist pumping and searching the shelves so I can pop on The Dark Knight straight after.

[CalHab]

Off to see The Lighthouse again, got to see it earlier than most back in October for Horrofest Manchester but well worth a revisit, fans of folk horror don;t wont to sleep on this one. A moder classic.

I went to see it at the weekend. Absolutely brilliant.

The sound design and cinematography are incredible. The dialogue uses rich, arcane terms and reeks of atmosphere. Dafoe and Pattinson are both sensational.

The best film I've seen in a long time.

[Keef Monkey]

Went to a '90s slasher night and the first film was I Know What You Did Last Summer which I haven't seen since back in the day, actually held up surprisingly well as far as teen slasher movies go. Like all those post-Scream slashers from back then it doesn't have the smart self-awareness that made Scream a classic but it has a smart set-up and a decent plot (even if the red herrings are a bit thick and fast). Couldn't remember anything going in but it all came flooding back, as did the memory of my teen crush on Jennifer Love Hewitt (swoon). Enjoyed that.

The second film was Urban Legend but I had to catch a train, gutted because I was curious to see how that one played too.

[Keef Monkey]

Watched Basket Case last night having never seen it and inheriting a box set from a friend. I'd seen Brain Damage from the same creator so I somewhat knew what I was getting myself into and expected it to be pretty messed up. It was pretty messed up.

[Hawkmumbler]

"Whats in the basket?!"