"Avenge me!"

[Bico]

Actually, closure is important, I think.  Especially since I've been at the job for six years and only recently got the minimum wage.  Add to that I was initially sacked without notice, and my boss only took me back because I took legal advice and found out I was due six weeks'pay in lieu of notice, which he decided I should work off.  So, to recap - I'm laid off because there's no work, but I have to come *back* to work after six weeks to work off my notice.  No, I don't know how that works either.  And I don't like how my co-workers are treated - not letting someone speak when you ask them a question is bad enough, but calling them a 'fat stupid cunt' to their face on a regular basis is blood-boiling to witness - fuck knows how the guy on the recieving end has put up with it for so long.

I feel that after being screwed aroud, I'm due a little payback, and all that "living well is the best revenge" is tree-hugging claptrap of the worst kind - if someone has seemingly gone out of their way to piss you off or screw you around, not shafting them in response just gives everyone the impression you're a doormat.

[Byron Virgo]

Way I see it, you either let yourself get shafted or you don't.

It might sound stupid, by my motto's always been "Death before Dishonour".

Seeing as he sounds like a frugal pompous fucker, hit him either in his wallet or his personal/public persona. If he has a wife, a few malicious calls and letters can go a long way to suggesting that he was having some type of torrid affair, though this does move the vendetta into the realms of the obsessional.

[Richmond Clements]

Bear, you like in Portadown don't you?

Gotta be someone you can talk too...

[Bico]

Portadown?  Fuck no!  And anyway - in three short weeks, I'm off, which I'm looking forward to.
And I don't want to do anything to hurt anyone else, really - I've nothing against anyone else who works there, and my boss' wife is quite nice, too.  Why would I want to put her through that?  I was thinking more of a good "fuck you" prank that I can say I did when people ask - so that I don't appear to be a doormat.
Stinky fish and watercress seeds seem to be the way to go so far...
Any more for any more?

[Buddy]

Bear, sounds like you work in the same place as me!!!

And as far as effecting other people in the company regarding calling FAST I'm sure they'd thank you for it in the long run, is it's obviously a torturous place to work (just recently got minimum wage, I think he owes you back pay - seriously check this out and it will seriously piss him off into the bargin).

Of course, you could just give the nod and me and lord RAC will turn up in ballaclavas and black & decker drills and kick the living shit out of him, in front of his staff, humiliating him into crying like a baby.

Bosses who abuse their position and deliberatly intimidate the people they employ are scum and have got what's comming to them.

Tell me where you work and I'll call FAST (there N.I. office is in Ballnahinch.

You could also have sex with his wife or daughter or both and post the pics on the internet.

[Funt Solo]

Have you tried telling him what you think of him and suggesting that he alter his behaviour?

[Bico]

Yes.

Several weeks after that, I called him a pig-ignorant cunt, and that didn't go down well, either.

[Funt Solo]

Well, in that case, piss in the kettle and sellotape the on-switch down.

[eggonlegs]

lift floorboards insert/hide kipper (or fish of choice, no one can find the smell its a good un.

[Mike Carroll]

Superglue his windscreen wipers to his windscreen. The great thing about this is that he won't even notice until it starts to rain... Which makes it a double-whammy, because then he won't be able to see where he's going!

[Dudley]

While killing him is, obviously, a good idea (nice one, Mike...) I'd be more in favour of setting his homepage to www.iwanttobeawoman.com*, or similar.  




* Don't click on this.  I just made it up, but it probably exists, and it won't be pretty.

[Jared Katooie]

Buy a small paint pot or two. Pink is a good colour. Put on some gloves. Paint lots of your bosses things pink. Write humorous messages in pink on your bosses car.

Pat him on the back or hug him (hey, it's a pretty liberal age we live in) and apply pink paint to his shirt. Bonus points if you you draw a penis on him.

You can also get lots of blood from a local butcher if you fancy pulling a Carrie on him or his car. Blood on carpets and walls is really funny too because it upsets people a lot. And it smells pretty bad.

[janus stark]

get a pint of maggots from local fishing shop put them some where dark and warm like say heating system.within a day allwill turn to casters,then a month later all will turn into the largest bluebottles you can imagine.
i speak from experience,did this once by accicdent.than the next tine with malicious intent,in student nurse halls of residence.hhhhh

[Tordelbach]

Can't reconcile Statement A:

"get a pint of maggots from local fishing shop put them some where dark and warm like say heating system"

with Statement B:

"did this once by accicdent".

Help!

[House of Usher]

Yes, I can remember when my brother, a keen fisherman, used to buy maggots for bait. He had some left over once, and stored them in my grandad's garden shed, which was soon full of bluebottles. yuk.

Personally I would advice against doing anything that answers to the name of criminal damage.