Messages

The changing of the clocks last weekend has really bollixed me. I am absolutely shattered every morning - more so than normal. I even had an argument with Mrs X this morning because I told her to "shhh" (I don't do mornings). Well, she haraunged me and I listened. Is this a sign of old age, or am I just working too hard (an average of 13 hours a day, for the last 14 days - including weekends. Poor me!) God help me, EVEN COFFEE DOESN'T WORK!

Glasgow. Slap bang right in the middle of it when I'm working, and outside it when I'm not.

Who's Bollard? Presumably his art would hold up traffic? :^)

Come on Tharg, a joke's joke, but April 1st is passed so where's me prog? I pay ?9 a month (sometimes twice, but I don't complain) so gimme!

I would like to apologise for my drunken rambling in the chat room on the night of this message. I can feel my face going red just now thinking about it. It was good fun, though. Except for the fact my damn PC kept seizing up. Thing is, what are you all doing up at 1am on a Thursday night?

I would but it is 12.15 am. I would point out that I was drinking with a pal, not on my own. But owrk (I think I'll keep that typo) starts at 11 tomorrow so I now have to continute on my own.

'at's what I am. In London for a week working. S'pretty pants. Wanna go back to Scotland where people talk proper. Anyway, off for a beer fore I go to bed.

What about the clones taken to another city in the early 80s (can't remeber the details, but they were ikkle babies in Walter style Wobots that Dredd has to take across the cursed earth, and Mean Machine helped cos he'd been hypnotised to think Dredd was his pa)? Wouldn't they be all growed up and bad now?

No point - it'd be like tha bit in Demolition Man where Wesley Snipes tries to kill the bloke what programmed his mind. You want to pull the trigger but you can't. Not that I deal in second class sci-fi cliches, mind.

Clearly my mind programming is having unforseen effects on some of the weaker minds on the board, leading to mental breakdowns and split personalities. I'll work on this in the lab.

In the mean time, for those confused souls out there, wondering who you are the answer is "One of Dr X's mind slaves." Everything else, including what you call yourself, is of secondary importance.

The Crest is clearly a development of M.A.C.H. 1's computer - it even has the same personality.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

To mark my return from holiday, and the horror of moving house, I give you...

a zombie monkey - in a hat!http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=tbn:bdZaPQTE0uYJ:users.aber.ac.uk/stg1/img/zombie-monkey.jpg">

For a moment I thought Dudley's porcelain was an exception to the rule that nothing cannot be improved by a monkey in a hat. Then I thought about how ugly it would be if it wasn't.

A fez would improve it more, though.

C'mon the Fez!http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=tbn:TOA7AINdtv8J:www.fezbrothersink.com/monkey_fez.jpg">

a rich seam!http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=tbn:Ao3I7y-_IpgJ:www.interestingideas.com/out/pix/sockfeza.gif">